04/06/2025
This author used to write for the psychotherapy worker, so I’m somewhat familiar with their work. This healing progression pictured here certainly rings true.
You love them — but in the heat of the moment, you forget.
Instead of responding with care, you react. You roll your eyes. You shut down. You go on the attack. Before you know it, you're locked in the same old fight, saying things you don’t mean, pulling further apart.
This isn’t just a bad habit — it’s a relational reflex, wired long before this relationship. It’s your adaptive child taking over, doing what it learned to do to stay safe. But what once protected you is now costing you connection.
Thankfully, there’s another way.
Relational mindfulness is about waking up in the moment. It starts with noticing: Oh, there I go again. Then, instead of reacting, we pause. We breathe. We choose differently. We step into our Wise Adult, the part of us that values connection over control.
At first, it’s uncomfortable. It takes effort. But with practice, responding with intention becomes second nature. And one day, you realize — you’re no longer stuck in the same old fights. You’re showing up differently.
