Renovation Biblical Counseling, PLLC

03/16/2026

"Faith makes a fool of what makes sense!"

03/16/2026

And you’re still in their bed?

You’re still their friend.

You’re still making your way over there.

You’re still slinking into enemy territory.

You’re still winding up there because you need a crutch and it’s an easy one to lean on.

Samson told Delilah once how to take his strength…

And she tried the method that he had entrusted her with.

He went back and he told her again…

And she tried that method also.

She continued to seduce him.

And three times he acquiesced.

Three times he opened up to her…

Fully aware of past intentions.

Until the fourth.

And that one…took his anointing.

That one..took his call.

That one..took his strength.

…Then ultimately that one took his life.

He had to crumble and crawl back to who he was….

All because he crumbled and crawled back into that bed.

Friend.

The Lord can show you.

God himself can send you smoke signals and red flags about your Delilah all day long…

But you’re going to have to listen.

You’re going to have to get OUT of that bed with the enemy…

And get BACK to your anointing.

Back to your prayer life.

Back to your faith.

Back to your roots.

Back to the you that reached the throne of heaven.

Some of us have entertained Delilah…

Because we think we can outsmart her.

Some of us are living clean in the light and crawling into the enemy’s territory at night.

You can’t balance both.

You’re not correctly calculating the enemy’s intentions.

You’re out for a good time..

And he’s out for blood.

Yes…

“Delilahs” can be anything…

“Delilahs” are plentiful…

And “Delilahs” don’t discriminate.

You know what or who yours is.

We each pick our poison when peaked with pain.

But today…having been there…

I call you out of that place.

I call you back to who you were put here to be.

I call you back to your senses and out of the stronghold of sensation.

I call you out of the pursuit of pleasure and back to the clinging of the cross.

So get up.

Grab your clothes.

Grab your dignity.

Grab that Holy Ghost and fire you once knew.

And Run.

Hard and fast.

Back to your purpose.

Back to the place He called you to.

Back to the safety of the covering of Jesus Christ and His righteousness.

I know your “Delilah” may be begging you to stay.

I know “she’s” taunting and whining the words of “but don’t you love me?”

But Samson’s was, too.

And it was asleep in her lap where he was finally stripped of his historic strength.

So today I call you back to protecting your metaphorical “hair”…

Today I call you out of the enemy’s lair…

And today I’m here to scream from the roof tops that..

“Friend, YOU DON’T BELONG THERE.”

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https://www.instagram.com/honestlyashleya/

**Always reminding you that not every post is meant to speak to every heart and situation. Also, always encouraging you not to seek direction and advice from social media. Speak with your spiritual guidance leaders and professionals. 🫶🏻

03/15/2026

More truth!

Your safety matters to God. Full stop. We’ve misquoted Scripture to protect reputations instead of protecting people. And it’s time someone said it out loud.

The Malachi 2 passage that is so often quoted as “God hates divorce,” is actually saying that God hates when a husband is treacherous and unfaithful to his wife. Hates it. He hates when you are being treated with cruelty and indifference. He hates it when you’re struggling financially because of your husband’s sin. He sees your situation and he hates it.

When a covenant becomes a cover for cruelty, the problem isn’t the woman who leaves. The problem is the harm being done under the guise of biblical marriage.

God’s heart is never aligned with oppression.

He doesn’t value the institution of marriage more than He values His daughters. He doesn’t ask you to endure abuse to preserve an image of godliness.

If you’ve been told that staying in an abusive marriage honors God more than seeking safety, that’s not biblical truth. That’s spiritual manipulation.

God sees what’s happening behind closed doors. And His heart breaks for you, not because you’re considering divorce, but because you’ve been harmed in a relationship that was supposed to reflect His love.

03/13/2026

03/09/2026

Share a song that has been instrumental in your life. Mine is "Trust in God"

03/09/2026

The most important gift you can give to your loved ones is to be born again.

03/02/2026

Every time I hear someone say that Bad Bunny performed at the Super Bowl, my brain immediately stops functioning like an adult who understands modern music culture. I do not hear “international superstar.” I hear Larry the Cucumber.

And suddenly my entire internal soundtrack is, “Ohhhh the bunny, the bunny, oh I love the bunny.”

Which is unfortunate when you are standing in a calf barn at five in the morning trying to look professional while mixing milk replacer.

Because now instead of thinking about football or halftime shows, I am mentally back in childhood church watching VeggieTales on a rolling TV cart while learning extremely important theological truths like apparently you are not supposed to worship the chocolate bunny.

Meanwhile I absolutely would accept chocolate as a coping mechanism.

So here I am feeding Jerseys while quietly singing, “I don’t love my soup or my bread, just the bunny,” and a calf is staring at me like she regrets forming this working relationship.

And honestly she might be right.

Because the human brain should probably not connect one of the biggest entertainment events in the world with animated vegetables singing about confectionery-based idolatry, but here we are. I cannot hear the name Bad Bunny without expecting a tomato to step in and correct everyone’s life choices.

So if you ever see me looking thoughtful during Super Bowl discussions, please understand I am not analyzing the game. I am trying very hard not to sing VeggieTales lyrics out loud while carrying a bottle and convincing a calf that warm milk is better than licking the pen divider.

Faith shaped me. Farming finished the job. And apparently Larry the Cucumber permanently wired my brain somewhere around 1998.

Oh the bunny.

02/27/2026

Awareness is half the battle

02/26/2026

What are the dry bones in your life?

Some of mine are family.

What promise are you standing on?

One of mine is Isaiah 42:16:

And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.

02/25/2026

More from Dr. Coleman....

SELF-DIALOGUE vs CHILD DIALOGUE

One of the most important distinctions estranged parents have to make is this:

There is the dialogue you have with yourself.
And there is the dialogue you have with your child.

They are not the same. And confusing them is one of the fastest ways to make things worse.

Your Self-Dialogue: Where You Soothe Yourself

Self-dialogue is what you tell yourself.
It might sound like:

• I did the best I could.
• I didn’t have a good partner.
• You were a difficult child to raise.
• Your memory of me feels both unfair and wrong
• I was a better parent than you’re remembering.
• If you’d married someone different, we wouldn’t be here
• If I’d married someone different, I wouldn’t be here

This is where you comfort yourself.
Because here’s the difficult truth:

Your child is not going to soothe you.

You may wish they would say:
“I know you tried.”
“I understand you were under pressure.”
“I can see you loved me.”
“I know you brought a lot of value into my life.”

But if estrangement is in place, you are unlikely to receive that empathy.

And this is where practicality matters more than fairness.
Is it fair that you don’t get understanding?
No.

But reconciliation is not built on fairness. It’s built on what works.
So you have to give yourself what your child can’t.
If you made mistakes, you reflect on them honestly — but compassionately.

You might say to yourself:
• I had no role models.
• We were struggling financially.
• I was dealing with postpartum depression.
• I was overwhelmed.
• I didn’t understand what I know now.

There are many reasons parents fall short.

Be the loving parent to yourself.
Just don’t expect your child to take on that role.

SEPARATE REALITIES

Another grounding idea: separate realities.

In any family of five, there are five different versions of what happened. If you asked each member to describe the family, you migh hear five distinct stories.

I have two brothers. When we talk about our parents, our memories are strikingly different. Birth order mattered. Temperament mattered. Who we aligned with mattered.

Some children are easier to raise.
Some are more temperamentally sensitive.
Some are more reactive to tone, mood, or criticism.
A comment you experienced as neutral may have landed as harsh.
A moment you barely remember may have shaped their narrative.

None of this means you were malicious.

It means you were human.
So don’t get trapped in “right” and “wrong.”

When your adult child describes their experience, your task is not to correct their reality. It’s to understand that it is their reality.
You can hold your version privately — in your self-dialogue.
But in conversations with them, something different is required.

Not self-defense.
Not self-soothing.
Not fairness.
Just steadiness.

That distinction alone can change everything