Knot Counseling

Knot Counseling Relationships Reimagined

01/26/2026

A real apology isn’t long — it’s clear.

1️⃣ Here’s what I did.
2️⃣ Here’s the impact it had on you.
3️⃣ Here’s what I can do differently next time.

When apologies include all three, they stop sounding like damage control and start creating repair.

01/24/2026

People don’t struggle to apologize because they’re weak.

They struggle because apologizing takes emotional courage.

A real apology means tolerating shame, staying present with discomfort, and risking not being instantly forgiven. It asks us to put connection above protection — and that’s hard for a nervous system that learned to stay safe by defending.

When someone has a hard time apologizing, it’s often not resistance.

It’s fear.

And learning to apologize well is a skill — not a character flaw.

01/23/2026

Wanna know what basketball has to do with your relationship?

❤️

01/21/2026

Internal and external processors aren’t opposites — they’re just different paths to clarity.

External processors think out loud. Talking helps them organize, regulate, and figure out what they feel as they go.

Internal processors think inward. They need time and space to sort things out before speaking.

One needs room to talk.

The other needs time to think.

Neither is wrong.

Conflict happens when we expect our partner to process the way we do — and connection happens when we learn to honor the difference.

01/19/2026

Internal processors don’t speak until they’re sure.

They talk when they’re ready.

They need time to sort, reflect, and make meaning before putting words to their experience. Silence isn’t avoidance — it’s processing.

When rushed, they can shut down. When given space and safety, they show up thoughtfully and deeply. Understanding this difference can change the way couples communicate.

01/18/2026

Keep the conflict out of the court room!! 😍

01/17/2026

External processors don’t talk too much — they think out loud.

They find clarity through speaking, not before it. Words help them organize, regulate, and make sense of what they’re feeling in real time.

When they’re told to “slow down” or “figure it out first,” they can feel shut down or misunderstood. What they really need is space to process out loud — and the reassurance that they’re not too much.

01/16/2026

External processors use questions as a way of thinking.

Asking out loud helps them retrieve what they’re feeling and make sense of it in real time.

Internal processors can experience those questions as pressure or interrogation — but that’s usually not what’s happening.

It’s not accusation.

It’s cognition.

And on the flip side, internal processors can learn to hear those questions as curiosity, not criticism.

When couples understand this difference, conversations slow down, defensiveness softens, and both people feel less misunderstood.

01/16/2026

If you’re stuck trying to decide between individual therapy or couples therapy, here’s the honest truth:

Some of the most important relationship dynamics don’t show up when you’re alone. They show up between you and your partner — in the pauses, the defensiveness, the shutdowns, and the ways you try to protect yourselves when things get hard.

Individual therapy helps you understand yourself.

Couples therapy shows you the pattern you’re creating together — in real time.

If the pain is happening in the relationship, that’s often where the healing needs to happen too.

01/16/2026

Apologies stop working when they’re rushed, defensive, or focused on being forgiven instead of being understood.

A real apology isn’t just “I’m sorry.”

It’s:
• I see what hurt you
• I understand why it hurt
• I take responsibility for my part
• I care about repairing this

When someone feels truly understood, the apology lands.

When they don’t, even a hundred “sorrys” won’t fix it.

01/14/2026

Internal processors often get labeled as avoidant — but that’s not what’s really happening.

They’re not disengaging.

They’re organizing.

An internal processor needs time to sort through thoughts, feelings, and meaning before they can speak. When they’re pushed to respond too quickly, their system floods — and silence becomes self-protection, not distance.

What they need isn’t pressure.

It’s time, safety, and the trust that the conversation will still be there when they’re ready.

01/12/2026

Relationships have seasons.

There are times of ease and closeness… and times that feel heavy, quiet, or stretched thin.

A hard season doesn’t mean something is broken.
It usually means something is changing, asking for attention, or needing care.

Healthy relationships aren’t defined by constant warmth —
they’re defined by the ability to stay curious, connected, and committed through every season..

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12211 W Alameda Pkwy, Suite 104
Lakewood, CO
80228

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+17205835668

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