Tom's House

Tom's House A safe place to share information about end of life care, grief and death.

This is SO cool! 🍄
07/24/2025

This is SO cool! 🍄

The first U.S. burial using a biodegradable mushroom coffin has taken place in Maine. The eco-friendly casket, called the Living Cocoon, is made from mycelium and was developed by Dutch company Loop Biotech. It naturally breaks down in about 45 days and enriches the soil. Mark Ancker was laid to rest in the mycelium coffin on his family’s land, honoring his wish for a natural burial. Instead of a headstone, his family planted a flower garden. This marks Loop Biotech’s U.S. debut after thousands of similar burials in Europe, reflecting the growing trend of sustainable end-of-life practices.

Hospice Heroes!
07/16/2025

Hospice Heroes!

In an effort to help open access to equitable, inclusive end-of-life care to underserved populations, the National Alliance for Care at Home has published a research report identifying pathways for achieving deathcare equity.

The study of 2,000 people includes insights on supporting LGBTQIA2S+ communities and rural patients, as well as Asian American, Black, and Hispanic populations. The alliance developed a framework of principles—communication, outcomes, network, nurture, engagement, collaboration, and transparency, or CONNECT— to help care providers bolster support.

“Engaging with community and faith-based organizations, providing culturally sensitive education, and fostering active participation from patients and caregivers are important steps toward developing inclusive and comprehensive hospice care services that effectively meet the unique needs of all patients and their families," shares India Harris-Jones, manager of health equity and diversity at the alliance.

Read more findings and a link to the report at our link https://inelda.org/news-briefs-june-2025/ #1

07/07/2025
This blog is just Wow. đź–¤
07/02/2025

This blog is just Wow. đź–¤

"This is the moment that shook me and awakened me to my own sacred journey. At the core of this journey was acceptance that my partner of 16 years would soon be leaving his body." - Yve

Yve is an INELDA-trained Doula and you can read her blog at www.mysoulride.com

Since the invention of photography, there has been a long history of images celebrating the dying and the dead starting with Victorian death photography. is a project at INELDA to share our photos and sentiments in the moments of death and dying. INELDA's mission includes normalizing death, dying and grief.
We are grateful for the fact that wherever these images land for you, that the responses are with deep respect and gratitude for the person who chooses to share.
If you have a photo or a moment to share please email membership@inelda.org

🖤🖤🖤
06/22/2025

🖤🖤🖤

04/10/2025

Honey’s last ride.
Pet end of life care is important too!

02/04/2025

Dying is the Longest Verb.
Alok is a true storyteller. The way he speaks of his grandfathers death makes me feel as though I know him. It feels as though I am right there through the entire journey. Magnificence in anguish…

01/19/2025

Thank you Elmo

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
10/24/2024

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

If I could have just one more day with you…💔
I would hardly speak. I would simply listen to your voice and commit every tone of it to memory until it became my favourite melody.
I would look at you. I would study your eyes and your mouth, and I would learn every angle, every pane of your face until I could see you perfectly with my eyes closed.
I would hold your hand in mine. I would trace all the lines on your palm until they became a trail – a map - that I could retrace on my own palm every time I felt lost.
I would soak you up and breathe you in until there was not a single thing that I could not recall at a moment’s notice.
But more than anything, if I had one more day with you,
I would hold you.
I would hold you so tight, hoping that maybe if I didn’t let you go…
You wouldn’t.
Yes, if I had just one more day with you, I would hope… I would hope so hard…
that you wouldn’t have to leave again.
By Heartfelt

đź–¤
10/02/2024

đź–¤

I held a party the other week and grief came.

She wasn’t invited but she came anyway - barged her way in through the door and settled down like she was here to stay.

And then she introduced me to the friends she’d brought with her - Anger. Fear. Frustration. Guilt. Hopelessness.

And they sang in the loudest voices, took up space in every corner of the room, and spoke over anyone else who tried to talk.
They made it messy loud and uncomfortable.
But finally, they left.
And long afterward, when I was all alone,
I realized there was still someone here.
Quietly clearing up after the rest.
I asked who she was and she told me, “Love.”
And I assumed that’s why she looked familiar - because I had met her before.
“Or perhaps,” she said, “it’s because I’ve been here the whole time.”
And I was confused then because I hadn’t seen her all evening.
But when I looked more closely,
when I looked into her eyes,
I realized quietly that she had been here.
All the time.
She’d just been dressed as grief.
*****

Becky Hemsley 2023
Image created in Canva

Sometimes it helps to remember that underneath our grief, there is love. It was there before, it’s there now and it will still be there afterwards.
I share this poem a lot because I think it encapsulates that idea of grief simply being love in disguise ❤

On those days…
08/29/2024

On those days…

On those days when you miss someone the most, as though your memories are sharp enough to slice through skin and bone, remember how they loved you.

Remember how they loved you and do that, for yourself.

In their name, in their honour.

Love yourself, as they loved you.

They would like that.

On those days when you miss someone the most,

love yourself harder.

~ 'On Those Days' from 'Loss' Poems to Better Weather the Many Waves of Grief by Donna Ashworth

~ Art by Duy Huynh

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