05/07/2024
When I was younger
I knew there was truth, but had no real faith in anything
I saw that everything changes. Everything is continually changing
But I needed to find out, is there something that does not change?
In my experience, there was chaos, Noise in front of my experience. I could not touch life directly, but lived through this screen of noise
I studied ideas, but ideas were always changing. Ideas were exciting, but always changing, so ideas could not be that which is unchanging
Practice, meditation, states would come and go, even deep states, amazing states
But was there something which did not come and go?
I could hold onto nothing. I could grasp nothing. Everything was fleeting
And so I set out to discover something that was always there. That did not go away
In my lowest point of desperation, when I was very ill, I finally saw that there was something always there, which did not go away. Something closer to me than technique or skill. It did not require that I do anything for it to happen. Or to be good at it or skillful.
It was where I was already
I called it a second breath, but it was really just the vein of life
Touching this directly changed my life
I rode it through that screen of noise to an open vista. This is a death. And rebirth
And so I then began exploring what I could do and it still be there.?
Was it there when I was walking? Talking? Sitting in the wrong posture? Having s*x? Thinking?
I tested it
And yes, it required me to feel and listen to it. This was like listening to the most delicate thread of silk. It’s like being obliterated by the wind. Being in the center of all things.
But it was always there.
So my life became about that, and I have never had a doubt since.
https://open.substack.com/pub/coreyhess/p/everything-is-changing-but-what-is?r=3all0u&utm_medium=ios
Link in bio to Substack
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