02/23/2025
"I put the pill in my mouth, the nurse handed me an orange bottle holding the second phase of my prescription. She carefully explained the process. Once I had taken it, I wasn’t supposed to leave my house. Just stay home and wait until it was all over. I blinked back my thoughts on the drive home. What had I done?
I pulled my phone from my pocket. Scanning the web with my eyes blurred by tears, 'Abortion Pill Reversal' caught my attention, and I followed the link. 'Please, I just took the abortion pill. Please, what do I do?' They told me if I hadn’t taken the second phase, I may be able to reverse the effects. No, I hadn’t, I told them.
They said I could come in right away, but they wouldn’t be open. Instead, they said I could come to their mobile clinic to receive an ultrasound that very night. I pulled up close to the bright teal mobile unit, and I was ready for the ultrasound within minutes. My eyes glued to the screen, I clenched my teeth to keep my lips from trembling.
After a few moments, the nurse pointed, making some measurements. 'This is the heartbeat,' she said. I let out a sort of laugh. The nurse smiled sweetly and assured me everything was okay. I nodded through tears, letting a smile stretch my cheeks taught.
They gave me my first dose of progesterone that would be necessary to keep my baby alive. Plunking myself in my car with a sigh, I put a hand on my stomach. I laughed softly, releasing tension like water from a tap. When I got home, I took the orange bottle the other nurse had given me and dropped it into the trash. I stood for a minute, looking at the orange plastic half hidden by the folds of the white trash bag. If I had taken it, it would have been all over. That heartbeat would have stopped. I let the can lid slam.
Two weeks later, another ultrasound showed a still healthy heartbeat. The tiny being inside of me had even grown in that short time. Amidst all the endings and promises of sorrow, I now have a beginning. Through all the pain, I can look to the future and see something beautiful – HOPE."
*Photo is representational*