02/03/2025
Not all midwives are created equally....
Erika's story, in her own words!
Now pregnant with my third child I made a secret determination within myself⌠to change my pregnancy & delivery story. What had happened before, with my first two, could be described as enduring, exhausting, unnecessarily injuring, and miraculous. The enduring & exhausting parts felt as though they couldn't be helped. The unnecessary injury part needed to stop. And while I was wishing I wanted to steer clear of the need for miracles.
I also knew that my ideal birth would only ever be wishful thinking if I didn't make some dramatic changes. I also didn't know where to start. But with each decision I made moving forward from this point, I was led to an experience of pregnancy, birth, and postnatal care that I once could only imagine. And this⌠is a brief story of that journey and the people and conditions that helped make it possible.
Birthing had always been an assumed process to be endured at the hospital under the mostly absent care of a doctor. I tried that route for the entirety of a 1-hour prenatal visit. After that experience, I decided I would go the home birth route. My reasoning then was that home birth was better suited for me for several reasons. First, I didn't like being told what to do especially without my questions answered first. Second, I didn't like the hospital setting. Third, I didn't like many practices in Western medicine. And most importantly fourth, I was wildly stubborn about who came in and out of my laboring room. If I had it my âintroverted wayâ I would prefer birthing entirely alone.
Ultimately, my story is not one of comparison between the Dr. Guided, western medical, hospital birth story; and one of home birth. In fact, the contrast in my story came from one homebirth method and pre/postnatal care and another. So I'll start with my first and second birth stories as they were through the former method.
First Pregnancy, the stats: I was 24 years old. Before conceiving I was approx 176lbs. I followed a loose-no-restriction diet that emphasized protein, leafy greens, and vitamins. It also included calorie counting to ensure enough nutrients were being eaten. I ended that pregnancy at 230lbs approx. I labored for 26 hrs and delivered a 6lb baby boy. Now this doesn't look too bad for some on paper, but it was all the in-between things that made this pregnancy from beginning to after quite a trial in my life.
During pregnancy, I struggled with acne, constipation, fatigue, edema, low blood pressure crashes, cravings, and brain fog. But the real nightmares came during and after I delivered my son.
When labor began I opted for an e***a in hopes of cleaning out my constipated bowels. I had not passed a stool in several days.
During labor, I often struggled to stay conscious. Between the low blood pressure dips, drop in oxygen, physical fatigue, and stress I was beginning to feel the labor portion would never end. I was utilizing the hypnobirthing method to maintain labor progress but also allow myself some relief and rest.
Going 20 hrs strong, I was simply exhausted. The birth team and I attempted so many things without much reward for our efforts. Finally around the 24hr mark⌠my midwife, fearing for the baby due to heart rate concerns decided to intervene. She discovered my thinned cervix was pinched between my baby's head and the p***c bone, therefore being unable to dilate fully. And consequently trapping my superman-positioned newborn inside. Her miraculous discovery was met with a quick decision to push the cervical lip aside. Within seconds I entered transition. After 20 minutes of pushing, I had my bluish baby in my arms. He didn't pass his initial newborn tests but after some effort to get his lungs clear, he was coloring and breathing normally.
I had a significant tear through the back of my vaginal wall and had to endure suturing afterward. It took me nearly a week to feel I could walk normal again. I had to stay down for a significant amount of time and any small amount of overdoing it increased my bleeding.
My biggest concern post-delivery was, of course, my babyâs welfare. He was extremely jaundiced, had a caput (hematoma) on his head, had significant bruising, struggled to stay awake to nurse, had thrush, constipation, and worst of all he had colic.
My first-time mom's struggle with nursing was compounded by difficulty getting my baby latched properly onto my very flat ni***es. That struggle quadrupled when my infant couldn't stay awake long enough to drink longer than a minute or two. He would wake within an hour needing to be nursed again.
My midwife then offered what she knew of newborn care including using a cold cloth on my baby to keep him awake long enough to nurse. She taught me to gather and latch my babies properly without further ni**le damage. She also suggested natural remedies for the hematoma, bruising, and colic. Which for the most part were effective. But she sent us to the pediatrician for the jaundice.
We all survived our first pregnancy experience but when preparing for the second I didn't anticipate a repeat of the first.
Second pregnancy stats: I was 26 years old. Started the pregnancy at 180lbs approx. Ended pregnancy at 230lbs. I labored for 16 hours and delivered a beautiful 6lb baby girl.
The second pregnancy was quite similar to the first. I used the same midwife the same pregnancy method and the same home birth ideas. Some notable differences I recall include: I passed a stool the size of my baby's head several hours after delivery (this one still haunts me). The tear in the rear was significantly smaller than the first tear, but that nearly cost me a tear in the front. Some similarities: The labor was just as difficult. The baby was in a similar position despite my efforts for her not to be. The suturing, jaundice, slow recovery, struggle to nurse a wakeful baby, and colic were all a familiar nightmare.
I hope now you can see why, after two pregnancies, I felt the determination to change the story. But for the first several months of my third pregnancy, I was floundering to know what to do. Open to new possibilities I decided to not contact my previous midwife. I progressed in pregnancy as normal. Around 3 months in, the stars finally aligned when I talked to my sister-in-law about the midwife she had worked with. She told me all about Donna and her team. I was intrigued and also intimidated. Without knowing anything but what was shared I thought her program seemed strict and challenging. But I knew I needed this level of dedication if I was to change the experience of delivery I feared I would always be destined to endure.
Pregnancy number 3 stats: I was 28. I labored for 8 hours. I started pregnancy at 190lbs and ended after delivery 200lbs. I delivered a 6lb baby boy.
I had heard many things about Donna's program from others who had delivered with her including my sister-in-law, who had her second baby at home with Donna. My sister-in-law had shared the same midwife I had in my first two pregnancies so she had a good list of comparisons for me to consider. Iâll admit I was a little nervous about Donna's program because I knew she required me to stop all sugar. I struggled with emotional eating especially while pregnant and sugar was my go-to addiction.
After the first meeting with Donna, she looked me in the eye and promised me the results I had so longed to have, I was committed to my core. My commitment wasn't necessarily based on the promise, but on the look in her eye when she told me that she would reduce my labor time by half and never allow me to tear again. And believe me, mentally I had plenty of room to doubt her. I was sure the tissue around previous tears would be tight and weak from the previous injury. But she assured me she wouldn't let that happen.
Everything going into this delivery felt different and better. Without the sugar and grains, I didn't have blood sugar issues, edema, fatigue, acne, constipation, and crazy weight gain. With less weight on my body labor was so much easier. The exercises she suggested were phenomenal for hip pain relief, strengthening muscles that were too weak the last pregnancy and so much more. I followed the suggestions for ginger baths, evening primrose, herbal teas, and others to help in the delivery process and they really helped! The supplements, diet, and recipes she provided were also so good and satisfying.
I'll admit my biggest challenge with the diet was preparing food. I was much more of a light snacker and sandwich kind of person because I hadn't been taught how to prepare meals. But getting my hands on the recipes in her book was life-changing. Making my own food felt so much more empowering and also provided my kids and me with much more nutrient-dense meals. It made a huge difference in how much energy I had, and how much weight I gained, and (often overlooked) helped me feel better about myself.
I remember the day I was scheduled for my due date I was standing outside looking at the back fields and I felt a soothing calm come over me. I had every reason to panic This was my first baby without an ultrasound, without my usual midwife, without any security of what to expect but I felt 1000 times more at ease because I knew it would be different. I also had immense faith that it would be better than I could ever have imagined, and it was.
During delivery, Donna's team was the picture of efficient, intuitive, and knowledgeable. They prepared everything for me I didn't need to fuss about making up the bed and such. I had dips in my blood sugar levels and she had a solution. I started to fatigue and she had a natural electrolyte drink. I felt so much more taken care of, and the things we did really worked for relief!
She told me to work with my contractions to push. I listened to everything she told me to do and received exactly what she had promised. I didn't tear and I delivered my baby boy in half the time my previous baby came. I was also so much more alert, energized, and present to the final delivery.
The best part was that I felt so good and my baby was in amazing shape. My baby needed a little help to clear his lungs but he didn't have major bruising, hematoma, or shoulder dystocia. I was also up on my feet sooner, didn't have prolonged bleeding, and all the other issues of previous births. My baby wasn't jaundiced, didn't have colic, and didn't have issues latching (because I was much thinner after this baby came my ni***es were not as flat). This birth and delivery went so well that my husband and I agreed that we could have another baby. Which wasn't the case after our second baby. The agreement was that any future baby was also to be delivered with Donna and her team.
Pregnancy number 4 stats: I was 30. I started the pregnancy at 180 lbs and ended after delivering 190 lbs. I labored for 6 hours and delivered a 6lbs baby boy.
Overall the experience was essentially the same. There were no complications and delivery was just a breeze. My baby was perfectly healthy and my recovery after was: hours for soreness; days for swelling; and a week for bleeding.
My case of contrast may not be the norm but I hope that women who intend on using Donna's program, really follow her every suggestion. I would love to have every woman experience the same wonderful birth story that I have experienced. Free from unnecessary traumas, present, and full of love.
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