02/15/2026
My reel hit 25,000 views.
I normally get around 1,000.
Clearly something is hitting home.
This is for the people who:
👉 Spend 2 hours working on something but never do anything with it.
👉 Work really hard for a couple hours…
But can’t finish the ONE thing they actually needed to do.
👉 Get excited about something, sit down to work…
And shut down.
Can’t think.
Just sit there.
And wonder…
“What's wrong with me?”
Here’s what I know now.
The times in the past where you were super excited about something and it didn’t turn out how you hoped.
Or it turned out to be a complete 💩 show.
That energy is still held in your body until the emotions have processed.
One part of the complex PTSD that I'm healing is about Harold.
When I was 12, he came into our lives (I used to call him step dad).
Harold reminds me a lot of the man in the picture (BTW, whoever did that was very creative and it made me laugh.)
And there are thousands of men just like him.
Anyway, some people said Harold was a good soul.
He would help anyone.
First one to show up.
In my life though, he made lewd and inappropriate comments.
To me. To others.
And especially towards the waitresses when we went out every night for dinner.
He judged other people constantly.
He acted like he was better than everyone else.
It was his way or the highway.
When I tried to tell my family how bad it was…
I was shut down.
He was defended.
So I learned to block out my intuition.
I learned to defend bad behavior.
I learned to pretend everything was fine.
I learned to stuff the anger.
Stuff the holy, righteous rage.
Stuff the hopelessness.
I didn’t walk around thinking I needed to have boundaries with this man and my family.
I thought this was normal.
And this is how these patterns get formed.
Then years later, when you get excited…
Your body automatically reacts.
👉 It’s not something you think about… it’s something your body does.
You want to finish what you were excited about.
But some “thing” that you can’t name, stops you.
Until the patterns are released.
And when they’re released…
You can finish the thing that you're excited about.
You can go after your dreams.
There’s more loving, fulfilling connections with others.
There’s more laughter.
Like I literally woke up laughing this morning.
Thinking it would be fun to tell people I’m 55 1/2…you know how kids get excited to share when they’re 6 ½ or 8 ¾?
I know it’s weird - you should live in my brain 😂.
But seriously, I feel VICTORIOUS.
Because there was a time when some people in my life did everything they could to break me and my spirit.
Sometimes they won the battle.
But I’m winning the war.
I am a warrior. A warrior for more hope. More Love.
I’m here to live.
Laugh.
And feel the satisfaction deep within my soul that I’m on the right path.
Helping the people I’m here to help.
Connecting with my soul tribe.
This story isn’t about the man in the picture. Or Harold.
Or 25K views for my reel (although that really is pretty fun and amazing!)
It’s about how life improves by integrating the emotional baggage holding you back from the things in life that excite you.
The things that bring you great joy and connection with other people.
