01/04/2026
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When I stopped assuming my kids were choosing to act poorly and started approaching meltdowns as a sign that their nervous system was overwhelmed, I moved through those moments differently.
This lens is influenced by what we know about how the nervous system works. Kids do well when they can.
And when they can’t, something is getting in the way.
During a meltdown, the thinking part of the brain is offline.
There’s no lesson to teach in that moment.
What actually helps is an adult who stays regulated enough to lend calm.
And that’s on co-regulation.
Over time, being supported through hard moments is what helps kids build self-regulation skills.
This shift isn’t always easy. But give it a really try and witness how it changes how the moment feels for both of you.