The Perfect Pelvis

08/03/2025

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BREAKING: Nation’s Pelvic Floors Demand Paid Time Off, Cite Years of "Unacknowledged Clenching"

August 3, 2025 | Kansas City, MO — In an unprecedented labor movement, pelvic floors across the country have formed a collective union, citing chronic overwork, lack of recognition, and years of unpaid labor stabilizing humanity through childbirth, laughter, and poorly timed sneezes.

“We’re tired. Literally and figuratively,” said Pelvic Floor #304, spokesperson for the new union PFs United for Dignity (PUD). “We’ve been holding it together—sometimes quite literally—while our owners ignored us, neglected us, and blamed us every time they jumped on a trampoline after two margaritas.”

The movement gained momentum after a viral TikTok showed a woman laughing too hard during a spin class and immediately leaking state secrets... and also p*e.

The federal government has yet to issue a formal response, but early drafts of a proposed Pelvic Floor Stimulus Plan include mandatory kegel breaks, foam roller pensions, and a three-day “rest and release” weekend every quarter.

Meanwhile, many Americans were shocked to learn they even had a pelvic floor.

“I always thought it was, like, a metaphor,” said Jason Marsh, 36. “Like when people say, ‘I hit rock bottom,’ I figured that was the pelvic floor.”

Pelvic floors are demanding not only PTO and benefits, but also a rebranding campaign to improve their public image. "We're tired of being the punchline of every mom-group meme," said PF #1128, who recently retired after a 38-year career of holding in everything from giggles to gas. "We're muscles, not martyrs."

In related news, America’s glutes have also filed a grievance, citing jealousy over all the squats the quads have been getting.

Does your pelvic floor need some PTO? Send me a message:)

11/18/2024

Super fun brunch with and company! It was great to spend time with you all and learn more about the pelvic floor:)

09/02/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/Mh66S5JYySFhogtB/?mibextid=oFDknk

Does anyone have a baby that would like to participate in this? Lauren Scher Abelson is fabulous!

03/21/2024

Raise your hand if you are one of those people who think that if you just ignore it, it will go away. ✋
But here's the thing about pelvic floor issues- if its just been a few weeks since delivery, the symptoms might go away on their own, but if its been 6 months or more- they probably won't.
Pelvic floor therapy can help so much with back pain, hip pain, constipation, urinary leakage, abdominal strengthening and decreasing pelvic pain. Don't wait!

02/21/2024

02/21/2024

I was asking one of my patients the other day if s*x was painful for her after she had her baby. "It is a little bit- but that's ok," she said. So.....she and I had a conversation. Here's the thing. Pain with in*******se is not normal. There are many reasons why it might be painful- and none of them should be ignored.

02/14/2024

Are you going to the parade? Even with a healthy pelvic floor, you might need to know where the bathrooms are- so here ya go:)

Go chiefs!!!!!!!!!!

02/14/2024

Should I get surgery for my diastasis recti? I get this question a lot. And the answer is, "it depends." In the clinic, the severity of diastasis recti is measured in finger widths of how wide it is, and then estimated at how deep of a gap it is. A mild gap (3-4 finger widths or less) can typically improve significantly in physical therapy. But that can vary between people. Sometimes a larger gap can make enough improvement with manual techniques and exercise in physical therapy that surgery is no longer necessary. Sometimes a smaller gap will need surgery for a good recovery. Fun fact- diastasis recti surgery is generally not covered by insurance and is done by a plastic surgery. According to many insurances, your abdominals not working correctly because of an injury during childbirth is only a cosmetic issue.😳

02/12/2024

Did you know that not all diastasis recti injuries are the same? An injury doesn't have to be the full length of the linea alba to be considered an injury. It can also be above, at or below the umbilicus. Typically these injuries happen when we quickly gain a lot of weight in our abdomen- like when we are pregnant. Everyone who has a full term pregnancy will have some diastasis recti- it is normal. This allows our abdomen's to expand enough to allow a full term pregnancy. However, this gap is supposed to close on its own within a few weeks/months of delivery. Approximately 30% of moms will continue to have issues with this 6+ months post baby. When this happens, it can give the appearance that you are still pregnant- even if your diet and exercise is on point.

02/09/2024

GO CHIEFS!!!!!!!!
or go Taylor's boyfriend...whatever floats your boat:)

02/08/2024

Just a few things I recommend from Amazon for prolapse. The shorts provide external support for a prolapse and are great for people who either don't want to, or can't wear an internal support. (These are great for mommas who are immediately postpartum). The other two provide internal support, one is disposable and one is reusable. These are great for women who want to remain active during treatment for a prolapse.

02/06/2024

This is what a prolapse looks like from the inside. Stage 0 is normal. The higher the stage, the higher the level of dysfunction. Ultimately, prolapse is a ligament issue, not a muscle issue- however, in stage 1 and 2 (and sometimes 3) pelvic floor muscle training can significantly reduce symptoms- and reduce the need for surgery. (Just so you know what you are looking at- the white thing in the front is the p***c bone, next to it is the bladder, then the uterus and the re**um is last). Normally there should be a nice space between all the organs, but with prolapse, they "fall" into the vaginal area. Tag a friend who needs to see this!
*used with permission from the GPHAM