12/11/2025
Compulsions so suck! a compulsion is when you associate pleasure and pain with the same activity. When a person has a chronic pain, or a chronic health condition every activity has the possibility of becoming compulsive. That is because the body is still in pain while you do a distracting activity thereby making the habit intense without effort.
Itโs quite a repetition trap. I personally struggle with this a lot. The pain doesnโt have to be physical it can be emotions as well. They donโt need to be emotions based on real events either. So compulsive reactions are something that I and everyone else in a chronic or repetitive pain situation need to see for what they are or what is happening internally.
So, if you have chronic stressors, chronic physical pain, anything you are not accepting in a grief cycle... then you are doing any habit like drinking, smoking, spending... running a relationship routine... it all can end up in a cycle of away from pain and toward pleasure attached to the same behavior, habit or choice. This is also why love bombing and pulling away makes cycles between people.
This week, I am going to ask myself which compulsions that might be running in my life are serving my outcome or hurting my outcome-physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially and in relationships???
Then I am going to ask myself, What if I didn't have the heart valve issue, the cancer treatment, the issues with possible amyloidosis, the aneurism stuff... so I thought physical fitness was possible? What if I learn what I was supposed to from past relationships instead of permanently thinking I should have done something different? What if after learning, letting go felt amazing?
Would I be able to get rid of the complacency that haunts my internal strategy? Remember from your notes that complacency indicates a negative belief that success is not achievable. It gets worse for most of us when health stuff feels out of our control. Then we need to learn to believe it is worth it to still control lifestyle when we have felt it made no difference in the past. We need to get over it and change the belief. THIS IS HARDER THAN IT SEEMS BUT IS STILL 100 % NECESSARY.
So complacent thinking is also present when something has happened to your image socially at some point that wasn't necessarily your fault. In that situation it seems your choices aren't getting the job done.
Decide on your ideal outcomes if you know you won't fail. Pretend if you must
Face that some of the issues of physical pain or emotional confusion may be installing compulsions and distractions.
Check to see if any of the compulsions are becoming unhealthy and automatic. Blow the negative ones up so big that it becomes ridiculous to keep doing them and so big that there is no way to ignore the pain or future consequences.
Decide the habits that you want.
Write them down visualize the habits, then blindly do the new routine regardless of how it feels for 60 days and then forever...
Notice the boredom with the old drinking, smoking, relationship weirdness, compulsive scrolling social media or movie apps or whatever had become a compulsion for you.
Feel vital, have a sense of purpose and notice the absence of behaviors that you had to ignore because they embarrassed you in the past.
Celebrate your success with your favorite health shake
Compulsions that are unhealthy are no joke. They run on and on in those of us who had childhood or teen trauma, those of us who run shame cycles, those of us with chronic physical pain.
After you get control of the routine and behaviors you will also need a contingency plan for any time life includes a shocking amount of stress.
Celebrate or enjoy the ups and the good stuff knowing you deserve the good stuff. I know some of you have indicated yourself to guilt in a way that makes knowing it's ok to enjoy your healthy life seem distant. But, what if it isn't...
Please consider the possibility that the list above, when used, can get you something wonderful. It can also help you escape future consequences that you don't want. What do you have to lose but the trap of being stuck?
