03/16/2022
Fantastic truth about relationships. It can take a couple years to finally see that nothing is wrong with themselves or each other. They are just going thorough the people changing machine and process call “marriage”.
Sexual desire difficulties are built into committed relationships and therefore every couple will face them. Problems related to sexual desire and sexual behavior do not make you abnormal. They make you human. Consider the following:
- 38.2% of men and 22.8% of women experience one or more sexual problems.
- 29% of women had or**sm problems and 40% felt anxious or inhibited.
- 35% of men had moderate to severe er****on problems
- 30% of women and 15% of men report hypoactive sexual desire
- 30% of men report premature ej*******on
A committed relationship is doing what it’s designed to do when it flushes out the relational and sexual difficulties in each partner. Sometimes we think the relationship is broken when in reality the marriage system is working flawlessly. Committed relationships have an uncanny (and unpleasant) way of cornering us with dynamics like family of origin wounds, past harm, compulsive behaviors, how dependent we can be on a partner’s validation, and how well (or not) we can tolerate anxiety amid tension and passion.
One reason I believe extra-marital affairs, non-monogamy, p**n, divorce can be appealing is because they allow us to avoid these maddening, yet human-forming realities. I want to be clear that there are very good and necessary reasons to choose divorce, like domestic violence, betrayal , and several others. I am talking here to individuals that sabotage their marriage with contempt, hiding, or the possibility of sexual indiscretion to avoid the more difficult work of relational growth.
Sexual and relational difficulties are how we grow.