12/13/2025
To push or not to push?
This topic has been a reoccurring theme in the past couple of weeks, on my mind at the last birth I attended, then popping up again and again in conversations with local birth workers about their experiences.
“Breathing your baby out” is not unrealistic, women do let their body use the fetal ejection reflex to push while they just breathe and birth their baby. BUT, it is not one size fits all, AND it is not “better” or the “perfect birth” because someone never actively engaged in pushing.
MOST women in the home birth setting will get an uncontrollable fetal ejection reflex that starts involuntarily pushing. Not ALL women. My mother is a prime example, she had 6 home births and maybe felt that once.
Feeling an urge to push is your body telling you something. We, as midwifery care providers, don’t want you to start pushing too early and get exhausted. But also, if your cervix is wide open and your body is telling you it’s time to push this baby out, your body is asking for your participation! Refusing to participate is ignoring your body’s wisdom and fighting against it instead. If your mind is saying “My body is telling me to push, but the social media influencer told me to just breathe and not to push” then you are listening to a social media influencer and not the innate wisdom of your body to birth your baby.
The truth is, most women will beautifully and intuitively engage with their body and actively push when they need to when not influenced by outside voices telling them not to. Intuitive pushing is what I love to see. A mom who is listening to and engaged with her body in this beautiful process. This is not purple pushing or the breath holding and counting to ten (which does on have a place for some women, but not commonly).
When the baby is crowning, that is a good time to have encouragement to slow down and breathe, hand on your baby’s head, to have a very gentle delivery and reduce tearing.
The question is not to push or not to push, but rather, are you willing to trust and engage with the wisdom of your body in this incredible process of birth?
