The Centre for Rational Living Therapy, PC

07/30/2025

The Centre for Rational Living Therapy, PC will be closed from 7/31/25 - 8/8/25. We will reopen on 8/11/25. If your are experiencing a medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

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07/03/2025

June question of the month? What do I do if I am "triggered?"

Answer: In today’s society I am sure you have heard someone say, “I’m triggered!” or “This is triggering!” This word has become very popular in the mainstream and in pop psychology. Many mental health therapists use and encourage their consumers to use the word “triggered.”
However, I am on a personal mission to rid the mental health field of this word “triggered.” The reason is due to the fact that all of our words in any language have meaning and a definition to them. The word “trigger” implies that a stimulus or an event in our environment is causing or provokes our feelings. When we use this word incorrectly, we begin to attribute or blame a stimulus or an event for our emotional distress. When people use the word “triggered” they unintentionally create unnecessary emotional misery for themselves as they believe their emotions and behavior are out of their control.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists teach that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors. What a wonderful and empowering approach to life this is! Learning and understanding the ABC’s of Emotions will help with this understanding. Below is an example of the ABC’s of Emotions:

A-Awareness: I saw my ex-girlfriend and she ignored me.

B-Beliefs: “She shouldn’t treat me this way!”

“I need her to talk to me!”

“I must always be treated fairly and it’s terrible when I am not!”

C-Emotional Consequences: Angry. Text ex-girlfriend multiple times.

The ABC’s of Emotions show how our thoughts cause our feelings not other people, events, situations, etc. Once we understand that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, the word “trigger” becomes contradictory.
I encourage people to replace the word “trigger” with the following questions: 1. “This reminds me of….” and 2. “What does my behavior/reaction suggest that I am thinking?”
These two questions are useful as they help us to identify the negative thoughts in the B column that are causing unwanted feelings & behaviors in the C column in our ABC’s. Once we have identified that negative thoughts, we can then begin focusing on changing those unwanted negative thoughts.
Although it may seem like we are “triggered”, thankfully what we become aware of only reminds us of something and thankfully it’s our thoughts and beliefs that are causing our feelings and behaviors.

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06/06/2025

The Centre for Rational Living Therapy, PC will be closed from 6/9/25 - 6/13/25. We will reopen on 6/16/25. If this is a medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

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06/03/2025

We are thrilled that the NACBT has their new website up and running where you can find out your Rational Thinking Score! Have you ever wondered how rational you think? If so, please complete the Rational Thinking Questionnaire to find out your Rational Thinking Score!
Please see the link below for the questionnaire: rationalthinkingscore.com

Analyze your thinking and learn how to improve it based on the principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

05/01/2025

Today we are celebrating our three year anniversary! 🎉🥳🎊 We are celebrating with cake 🎂🍰 Cheers to many more years helping people in need.

We hope everyone is well!

04/10/2025

We will be presenting a CBT training on anxiety on 5/9/25 from 10:00am-1:00pm Eastern time zone through The University of Iowa. The training will be held via Zoom. The training is titled, "CBT for Anxiety: A Rational Living Therapy Approach.

Please click the link below for more information and to sign up:

04/02/2025

April question of the month? How to I improve my self-esteem?

Answer: This is a common question and topic I encounter in the therapy office and in the mental health field. Short answer is YOU DON'T! Self-esteem is one of the worst concepts invented by humans! I was on the Three Minute Therapy Podcast with Dr. Michael R. Edelstein and Mick Berry, and we discussed this topic. Please watch the podcast at the link below for more:

Dr. Michael R. Edelstein and Mick Berry discuss Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and advocate for a more effective therapy. Become a Patreon Supporte...

03/08/2025

The Centre for Rational Living Therapy, PC will be closed from 3/10/25 - 3/14/25. We will reopen on 3/17/25. If this is a medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

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03/04/2025

March question of the month.

Question: Why does it seem like "it" just happened?

Answer: We have all had the experience of "It happened to quickly, I didn't Know what I was thinking." We have all heard the phrases, "Think before you speak." "Think before you act."
Often people talk about instant anxiety, instant panic, or instance anger reactions (and other quick emotions or behaviors.).

Something very important to understand is that our thoughts precede all our feelings and actions. I am very thankful for that fact. All our thoughts precede our feelings and behaviors except for basic physiological reflexes.

So, what happens when it seems like "it" just happened?

Most would agree that things do not occur in our world due to magic. We all have what are called Reflexive Thoughts. A Reflexive Thought is a very well-learned, very practiced thought. It is a thought that is so well-learned that it no longer thought consciously-it is stored in the brain, ready for action.

It is wonderful news that things do not happen because of magic because this means we can do something about those very fast unwanted reactions and/or feelings. It takes time, effort, and practice to get better at identifying Reflexive Thoughts.

To begin identifying Reflexive Thoughts, ask yourself the following question if it ever seems like "it" just happened: "I'm acting as if I believe what about this situation?"

This will help you to begin identifying your Reflexive Thoughts.

Unless there is something wrong with your body or brain, your body will always provide the logical reaction to your Reflexive Thoughts.

I hope you are thankful for that because I know I am.

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02/02/2025

February Question of the month

Question: Why do I do and feel the way I do? In other words, what causes our feelings and behaviors?

Answer: I will attempt to answer this question briefly. Many people are taught that our feelings are caused by other people, things, and/or events. This is sometimes taught intentionally and other times unintentionally. I have wonderful news....none of that is true. I say thank goodness for that.
Getting right to the point, our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors. I am very thankful for that because that means I am in control of how I feel and what I do.

To show this process let's take a look at the ABC's of Emotions:

A-awareness B- Beliefs C- Emotional Consequences

A-awareness B- Beliefs C- Emotional Consequences

Eagles lose I can't stand this! Angry
the super bowl. It's terrible they Yell at the TV
lost the super bowl!

When we become aware of an event in the A column, we will then begin having thoughts about the event (B column). Then our thoughts about the event will cause our feelings and behaviors in the C column.
We can have three different types of thoughts. A "positive" thought, a "neutral" thought, and a "negative" thought. A "positive" thought will create a positive emotion like "happy", A "neutral" thought will cause a "neutral" emotion like "calm", and a "negative" thought will cause a "negative" emotion like "anger".

So, remember our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors. This is very good news.

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01/14/2025

We are late on this month's question but here it is.

Question: How can I stick to my New Year's resolution?

Answer: A good place to start is with how we state our goals. For example, someone might have a New Year's resolution to quit smoking. A common way many people state this goal is by saying, "I'm not going to smoke this year."

This way of stating the goal is one reason New Year's resolutions are rarely kept. This is due to the fact that we, in effect, have two brains. We have our left hemisphere and our right hemisphere of our brain. Our left hemisphere (for most people) is responsible for language and our right hemisphere (for most people) is responsible for producing images.

The left hemisphere understands words and sends the message over to our right hemisphere which then produces an image. However, our brain understands all our words except the word "not." Our right hemisphere can only image ourselves doing something.

What happens is the person states the goal to themselves, "I'm not going to smoke". The left hemisphere sends that message to our right hemisphere, but the word "not" gets dropped (because we can only imagine ourselves doing something) and the message the right hemisphere receives from the left hemisphere is, "I'm going to smoke." Then the right hemisphere produces an imagine of himself smoking a cigarette.

As people, we tend to act on the images our brain produces. Thus, the person gets an "urge" to smoke and lights up a cigarette. Then the person begins to think that they are too "weak-willed" or " too addicted." The person then continues to smoke.

It is much more effective to state this goal as, "I refuse to smoke, and instead, I will go for a walk/jog, talk to my spouse, or chew gum anytime I get an "urge" to smoke until the urge passes."

Stating your goals in terms like this will put you in a much better position to accomplish your New Year's Resolutions this year.

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12/24/2024

We will be closed from 12/24/24 - 1/5/25 for the Holiday season. We will reopen on 1/6/25. We hope that you all have a wonderful Holiday season filled with cheer, laughter, and warmth!

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