07/03/2025
June question of the month? What do I do if I am "triggered?"
Answer: In today’s society I am sure you have heard someone say, “I’m triggered!” or “This is triggering!” This word has become very popular in the mainstream and in pop psychology. Many mental health therapists use and encourage their consumers to use the word “triggered.”
However, I am on a personal mission to rid the mental health field of this word “triggered.” The reason is due to the fact that all of our words in any language have meaning and a definition to them. The word “trigger” implies that a stimulus or an event in our environment is causing or provokes our feelings. When we use this word incorrectly, we begin to attribute or blame a stimulus or an event for our emotional distress. When people use the word “triggered” they unintentionally create unnecessary emotional misery for themselves as they believe their emotions and behavior are out of their control.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists teach that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors. What a wonderful and empowering approach to life this is! Learning and understanding the ABC’s of Emotions will help with this understanding. Below is an example of the ABC’s of Emotions:
A-Awareness: I saw my ex-girlfriend and she ignored me.
B-Beliefs: “She shouldn’t treat me this way!”
“I need her to talk to me!”
“I must always be treated fairly and it’s terrible when I am not!”
C-Emotional Consequences: Angry. Text ex-girlfriend multiple times.
The ABC’s of Emotions show how our thoughts cause our feelings not other people, events, situations, etc. Once we understand that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, the word “trigger” becomes contradictory.
I encourage people to replace the word “trigger” with the following questions: 1. “This reminds me of….” and 2. “What does my behavior/reaction suggest that I am thinking?”
These two questions are useful as they help us to identify the negative thoughts in the B column that are causing unwanted feelings & behaviors in the C column in our ABC’s. Once we have identified that negative thoughts, we can then begin focusing on changing those unwanted negative thoughts.
Although it may seem like we are “triggered”, thankfully what we become aware of only reminds us of something and thankfully it’s our thoughts and beliefs that are causing our feelings and behaviors.
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