Finding Peace with Passage - Working through loss of a child

10/25/2025

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10/20/2025

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10/06/2025

10/06/2025

07/10/2025

Remember!! Grief’s waves WILL come and WILL go! I encourage you to stay in hopeful and preserver. The waves are doing important work as your body is learning how to live in the void if tue person you were emotionally attached to.

Harold
Encouraging you to first Survive, then Strive, and eventually, even Thrive!

If I have and am you can too. Trust me!

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06/05/2025

Sooner or later it will catch up to you.
Whether tomorrow morning or a month from now. A little bit to take the edge off might be in order- here and there- but excessive use, or regular use of substances to ‘medicate’ your pain.

Work towards Finding Peace After Passage. TM

You are responsible for getting through your grief. What do you want that to look like? How do you want to show up for yourself? Even if you work with a counselor or coach, substances only
aggravate grief.

Cutting to the chase. So I don’t expect you to comment back. But you’re welcome and encouraged to share any experience along these lines.

Harold
“Encouraging you to first Survive, then Strive, and eventually, maybe even Thrive”

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05/26/2025

Memorial day often get watered down as the first holiday of Summer season, for opening the pool or for grilling meat 🥩 👍🏼

For many people, particularly military families, it is truly a day of memorial and a visit to the cemetery. Emotional pain is reminded, and memories good and not so good shared.

Nick, our son, was never in the military. But today is also reminder of ‘what is’.

I reach out to all the military families who have lost a loved one whom is being recognized on this day.

Whether it was a father, a mother, a brother or a son, I feel your pain.

Harold
“ encouraging you to first survive, then drive, and eventually maybe even thrive.

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05/09/2025

We can feel so alone. Not understood.
Because it’s our reality. No body can REALLY understand.
but
we can be supported to make it all easier. Not feel alone. Feel held. Maybe not in words, or in words. Have heart connection.

I see you.

Harold
-Encouraging you to first Survive, then Strive, and Eventually, maybe even Thrive.

You CAN do this and don’t need to do it alone. Find Support, whatever that looks like to you.

03/13/2025

Walking the forest of grief, feels like we are dropped into an unknown world, and there are so many pads or no pads all to untangle. Know that there was a way through, that you can do it, and thank you you can have a decent even good life. But you have to want it. You have to dig deep, go through some adversity, you can make it.

02/25/2025

Ever Hear one of these? And did it make you feel better?
Most Likely your answer is NO!

People do not know what to say because they themselves are uncomfortable with death and grief. Plus their world is moving on when ours is stuck and shattered. Or, because they want to see you ‘better’ in some ways. These are about the, not you. These questions/comments are they not helpful despite that they are not trying to be malicious.

Here’s how we might respond to speak our truth and perhaps invite meaningful healing conversation or make a point of understanding.

1) How’s it going??
Really ?? That question? It feels so ignorant to me because it’s likely going crappy, and they are likely unaware of what it’s like. I believe this is because they come with their energy, kind of hoping for a “good”. Cause that’s how casual conversation happens. A ‘good’ would make them feel better. Because they don’t really know what to say or do. Grief is all but casual, isn’t it?
Possible Response:“You have no idea how hard this is”. Or “I am doing my best.”

2) Well, at least they are in a better place.
Feels dismissive, doesn’t it? Well, it might be fine and good that they are in a better place, true or not, but feels dismissive doesn’t it?
Possible Response: “I’m still without them it is really hard for me.”

3) It’s been…you need to move on.
NO! NO! NO! We do want to heal over time from our grief, but there is no ‘moving on’ from the hole left inside us after a loss. We learn how to integrate that feeling through our process. And everyone’s process in unique. No one has the right to tell you how long your grief process should be, or minimize you feelings.
Possible Response: Have you ever lost your ‘special person’?

4) Thinking of you ....
So it’s a way of reaching out and testing the waters as to where your at.
Possible response: Thank you. If you are thinking of me, did you know I might need you? There are no more casseroles, no one to help me with all I’m feeling. Everyone has left me and I feel isolated and alone. Could you just sit with me for a while? I need some support. Are you available?

5) At Least….
This is just them trying to rationalize and minimize what they cannot begin to imagine. They are trying to try to help you see the bright side. But for most in the throes of grief, there is little bright side. It may come down the road, but it’s not here now. They know you are in pain, but do not know how to speak to that.
Possible Response: I understand you’re trying to help, but no. Doesn’t keep me from hurting.


Let them know your boundaries and needs.
The tone you use will convey the message in a lighter more friendly, or heavyier irritated manner. Your choice.

Harold-
Helping you First survive, then Strive and eventually maybe even Thrive.

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10/24/2024

Getting to be that time .... Even though in Lowe's and other places it's been since Early August.

Please don't rush me...Let me enjoy each season the timeframe it's meant to be recognized. Thank you!