Dr. Phil Boucher

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Dr. Phil Boucher If you're like most of my readers, you’re a parent or parent-to-be looking for straight-forward advice to do the best you can for your kids and family.

And that's exactly what I'm here for!

If you want to get better at formatting excel, spend a lot of time formatting in excel.If you want to improve your backh...
24/07/2025

If you want to get better at formatting excel, spend a lot of time formatting in excel.
If you want to improve your backhand in tennis, hit a lot of backhands.
If you want to become the type of person that wakes up early, practice waking up early.
If you want to get better at helping your child through transitions, practice helping your child through transitions.

As you practice anything, you’ll figure out what doesn’t work and what does. When things don’t work, say “Okay…that sure didn’t work…well at least I won’t do that again! Next time perhaps I’ll try ______”

Good parenting takes practice…and it does get better with practice.

23/07/2025

SAVE THIS SCRIPT….You don’t always get to choose who & when people share advice with you but you do get to chose how you respond and allow it to influence your parenting.

It’s not just okay but 100% neccesary to let people know through your words and actions if their counsel is sought and appreciated (or not).

23/07/2025

2 biggest issues with screens (toddlers): transitions and holding boundaries instead of giving into whining

2 biggest issues with screens (school-aged): developmentally appropriate restrictions & avoiding addictive apps

I talk and work with a lot of parents struggling with screens…instead of constant carrots & sticks…the biggest successes come with an intentional, consistently, loving approach to screens (and your parent-child relationship in general). If you want more help with developing a manageable approach to screens and parenting over the ages and stages, comment APPROACH and attend my parenting talk (free) on how to use authoritative parenting strategies to enjoy parenting more.

Recent study (July25 issue of Nature Genteics) helping to better understand autism and how to help all autistic kiddos t...
22/07/2025

Recent study (July25 issue of Nature Genteics) helping to better understand autism and how to help all autistic kiddos thrive. Over 5000 autistic children were evaluated and categorized based on different areas of strengths, challenges, trajectories, and timing.

They found 4 separate phenotype categories that all had similar symptoms themes, co-occurring features and conditions, and some shared genetic characteristics.

By understanding these groups, we can help autistic children thrive by knowing what they need, what to watch for, and what works best to support.
Want to learn even more about autism? Comment THRIVE and I’ll send you a bunch more posts and info!

We LOVE texting with parents...saves so much delay, hassle, voicemails, phone tag, and coming into the office for stuff ...
21/07/2025

We LOVE texting with parents...saves so much delay, hassle, voicemails, phone tag, and coming into the office for stuff that can easily be handled with a few texts back and forth.

Love the way we are able to care for families...doing what is safe, makes sense, avoids unneccessary burdens, and using technology to improve our ability to care for families when & where they need it.

If you live in Nebraska (yes, we have many patients in surrounding towns to Lincoln and even some way out west!) and are looking for a new way to experience pediatric care that works for families comment frontier and I'll DM you to learn more about your fam!

20/07/2025

⛔️ Warning: SLEEP RANT AHEAD ⬇️ ⬇️

Sleep training influencers are PROS at making you feel it's you... you're the problem with your baby's sleep and if you only tinkered with this or that then your baby would sleep longer. Your baby is just doing typical baby sleep and you can let go of this need to tinker or feel guilt that comes from being told how you must do things.

Babies do not typically sleep through the night at 2 or 4 months and most do not before 6 months....and many do not before 12 months even.

If you'd like some actual info on baby sleep expectations for birth through 18 months and the different options of sleep training (no crying required...no sleep training required if you prefer not!), I have a workshop that helps parents set realistic goals for their infant's sleep and most importantly, the reassurance that it's not you that's interfering with your infant's sleep - it's just baby doing baby stuff. Comment CRIB and i'll DM you the details.

No guilt or judgement…we’ve been there too…just what research says about screens on the morning commute and how to pivot...
18/07/2025

No guilt or judgement…we’ve been there too…just what research says about screens on the morning commute and how to pivot.

If you’d like more help I have 3 different resources:
1) If local and need a speech eval…comment SLP. We have a seasoned speech language pathologist (SLP) that has joined our team and has saturday openings (which works great for busy fams!)

2) Want to see how our family uses screentime settings? comment SETTINGS and I’ll send you my free 10 minute tutorial where I go click by click through the settings we use to keep screentime & exposures in check!

3) Need help with yelling?? Starting a YELL LESS challenge on Wednesday. 5 days of daily guided exercises over text message and video guaranteed to help you yell less each day. Comment CHALLENGE to get in the next group of parents!!

VACCINE HESISTANCY IS COMMON AND NORMAL…and most parents who express concerns about vaccines are not opposed to vaccinat...
18/07/2025

VACCINE HESISTANCY IS COMMON AND NORMAL…and most parents who express concerns about vaccines are not opposed to vaccination or believe in magic or conspiracy theories. Rather, they are questioning the safety and effectiveness of vaccines because they live in a world where almost everything is now questioned, and the desire for knowledge has never been stronger. Additionally, with the proliferation of information available at their fingertips, parents have easy access to countless sources of information about vaccines, which can sometimes be conflicting or difficult to understand.

However, despite these valid concerns, parents who express vaccine hesitancy often face criticism and marginalization from healthcare providers and other members of society. They are often labeled as difficult, told to “get on board or get out”, or even excluded from pediatrician's offices during certain hours. They often get charged extra for prolonged visits or have to pay “sick” visit fees to come in for their vaccine visits. This leads to feelings of shame and resentment, further entrenching parents in their positions and worsening health outcomes for their children. They avoid the office…even when their child is sick…because of the guilt and shame put on them.

We need honest, open, and empathetic discussions around vaccine hesitancy more than ever. We must acknowledge and address the legitimate concerns of parents, while also providing them with accurate information about the safety and efficacy of vaccines. Pediatricians & pediatric offices, in particular, must be trained to engage in respectful and non-judgmental conversations with parents, listening to their concerns and addressing them in a way that is understandable and relatable.

Unfortunately, having these kinds of discussions takes time, patience, and extra work, which can be challenging within the confines of a typical 12-minute check-up (after a 40 minute wait with a screaming infant).

If we do not invest the time and effort necessary to build trust and rapport with vaccine-hesitant parents, we risk missing opportunities to prevent serious vaccine-preventable diseases. In the end, it is essential that we prioritize the health and well-being of children by working together to address vaccine hesitancy and promote vaccination as a critical tool in public health

17/07/2025

Starting wednesday - YELL LESS CHALLENGE…if you want a 5 day guided journey to yelling less, comment CHALLENGE to join me and 50 other parents as we work through how to yell less!!

It’s hard not to yell until you have toolbox full of other ways to help your child in challenging moments and a mindset that helps you avoid yelling.

Instead of buying another parenting book and hoping to get it read in the next 6 months, learn all the strategies you need in just 5 days with me to help & support you as you learn!! Comment challenge and I’ll DM you the details so you can join us!

When you expect the expected, you say to yourself, “oh hmmm I guess I am raising toddlers I should probably expect spill...
16/07/2025

When you expect the expected, you say to yourself, “oh hmmm I guess I am raising toddlers I should probably expect spills, meltdowns, irrational demands…I’ve heard these are normal with this age group…in fact, sometimes I spill things, have meltdowns, and perhaps make slightly irrational demands…maybe this shouldn’t surprise me that a 3 year old is acting the way 3 year olds act.”

dear parents, here’s why your threats aren’t changing behaviorsWhat I hear from a lot of overwhelmed, exhausted, and exa...
16/07/2025

dear parents, here’s why your threats aren’t changing behaviors

What I hear from a lot of overwhelmed, exhausted, and exasperated parents:

“The threats & consequences we come up with just aren’t working.”

Starting at age 2 until they move out, parents spend A LOT of mental energy around threats & consequences.

Threats get temporary relief from behaviors (“If you don’t quiet down, no donuts today” or “Stop doing that or no iPad for a week”) but the behaviors come flooding back moments later.

The two reasons that threats don’t work for more than a few moments:

Your child is in a state of mind to not take in what the threat could actually mean for her. If your toddler is acting like a toddler while out to eat at a restaurant then she’s way too overstimulated to consider what it means to sit still or else she’ll lose her iPad time this coming Wednesday. Your child, in this moment, does not have the processing power to consider the impact your threat, if you followed through, has on their near future life enjoyment.

Parents don’t follow through on threats and the kids know it. Sometimes (often) parental threats in the moment are actually a shot in the foot to themselves.”Wait I NEED her to play iPad so I can take a work call on Wednesday” or “Wait…we are all getting donuts after church and eating them in front of the 3 year who doesn’t get one guarantee it’s going to be a suck fest for the entire family” or “Wait why am I threatening no trip to the zoo obviously I’m not going to cancel this late in the game” Kids figure this out and realize that their sitting still for 5 more minutes has zero bearing on the trip to Disney World in 3 months.....

[too long for instagram...find the full post on my dear parents substack]

If yelling is a challenge for you, join my YELL LESS challenge starting Wednesday. You get daily text messages & video lessons along with back & forth with me to work through your yelling habit and replace it with strategies that actually work and make you feel connected to your child in challenging moments. Comment CHALLENGE and I'll DM you the details.

Permission to pass, skip, or cancel.If you're feeling stretched too thin, your child probably is too and it's impacting ...
15/07/2025

Permission to pass, skip, or cancel.

If you're feeling stretched too thin, your child probably is too and it's impacting the whole fam.

Take care of yourself.
Set boundaries & adjust as needed.
Connect with your child.
Your child & relationship will thrive even if she misses soccer or he misses piano.

Good parenting takes practice.

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Dr. B Here...

There’s a thousand parenting books. There are so many approaches. Attachment, barefoot, tiger, helicopter, free-range…. It used to be you felt the need to keep up with your neighbors and friends…now it’s all of Facebook. You see the beautifully framed and filtered shots of happy children and parents on Instagram.

Household peace, even momentary, is more difficult than you thought. The tug of work (do those emails ever quit?), keeping house (didn’t we just pick up this room?), giving your children positive attention, making sure they are being stimulated with outings, lessons, athletics….

I’d like to share my experiences, knowledge, and expertise with you. To help you be a better parent. To enjoy your children, spouse, and family more. To grow closer to each other and God. You already have most of what you need. I can give you the confidence and reassurance that you can do this.