04/30/2021
The last year has created a disruption in everyone's "Belonging." Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is a theory that explains what is necessary for a human to thrive. Each level of needs must be met before moving to the next level.
Before COVID you likely had your need for "Belonging" met. You likely felt belonging at work, in your neighborhood, at church, and with friends. But since March of 2020, level 2, "Safety," has been compromised.
Initially, it was our physical safety we were all worried about. The threat of a 1-3% mortality rate for a virus is something none of us have ever had to live with. Over time science continued to show us better ways to combat the virus and the mortality rate went down. The physical safety no longer concerned many people. When masks were mandated, many people felt their psychological safety was being threatened (by the government, by neighbors who insisted on masking, and by the feeling of not being able to breathe). However, those who did not mind masks felt their physical and psychological safety concerns were met. Do you see how it has always been a win-lose situation?
Now the part you don't want to hear. YOU have said things to compromise the psychological safety of others. It has not been your intention, but every person has done this because you do not know the psychological needs of the person with whom you are speaking, writing, or posting to.
🔘 "Masks are stupid"
🔘 "If you don't believe in science you're an idiot"
🔘 "Stop being sheeple"
🔘 "Why can't you see this is the best thing for everyone?"
🔘 "Just stay home if you're scared"
🔘 "Do it for the good of others"
So, now what? We all NEED to "belong" before we can begin achieving and thriving in our groups again. We can't skip the need to belong. If we ever want to get back to the "Belonging" level, we need to think about the things we say. It is not about walking on egg shells around one another. Rather, it is thinking before we speak.
Before we tell a church member, "Why are you even wearing a mask anymore? Masks are stupid," think about how the wearer is being given psychological safety by the mask. Before we tell a neighbor, "Just get the vaccine, it's not a big deal," think about how the vaccine may pose a psychological threat to the person.
Instead, start making steps toward helping others BELONG. And be cautious of "conditional belonging." Conditional belonging is what we're all seeing right now. Mask wearers only sit and speak with mask wearers. Non-mask wearers exclude mask wearers in get togethers and conversations. Stop doing that. Create UNCONDITIONAL BELONGING around you. Show compassion to everyone, regardless of their opinions on COVID, masks, and vaccines. When you create belonging it helps people feel safe.
References: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
"Belonging Through a Culture of Dignity" by Floyd Cobb and John Krownapple (available here: https://www.amazon.com/Belonging-Through-Culture-Dignity-Implementation/dp/1950089029/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=belonging+through+a+culture+of+dignity&qid=1619795786&s=books&sr=1-1)
