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Moon+Myrrh, Little Rock, AR (2025)

11/10/2024

Trying to look forward with the occasional look backwards, but only fondly or to remember the lessons. Never in regret & never in denial of the truth.

I’ll be retiring soon as Moon + Myrrh & reinventing myself as someone new, as someone I’ve always been. Back to anonymity. I won’t be sharing publicly where I’m going because some people are meant to find me (there have been hints) & for some this is where our journey together ends. My personal IG is , so feel free to find me there if we are friends.

This week (this decade) has shown me so much of you, the good & bad, and so much of myself, the good & bad. I’m happy to be moving on. You should be, too. Don’t stay still. Always be growing. Don’t be afraid to change your mind when faced with new information, & don’t be afraid to stand up when you realize your tolerance has allowed darkness to seep in. We don’t have to tolerate the bad stuff.

I found so much hope & healing in learning & sharing astrology, in learning & teaching yoga, in learning & facilitating family constellations, but I also found a lot of blame & copying & antagonism. I found a lot of friends & I found a lot of snakes. I found a lot of legitimizing bad behavior. I found a lot of fear mongering. I found a lot of people who would follow me in private & deny me in public. I found a lot of people I never thought I’d be forever friends with. I found a lot of people I never knew could be so cruel. I accepted a lot of treatment I shouldn’t have.

And I’ve found the end of the public part of this role.

If you’ve met me & worked with me, you have the tools you need to move forward. Now it’s time to use them. In my new space I’ll be sharing some of what I have shared here & in circles though a little more secular in nature, but if you don’t make your way there please know that you have everything you need inside of you. You don’t need me or anyone else to teach you how to come home to & take care of yourself, how to be a good steward of your resources, how to be a decent human to other humans. How to learn from the past so that we are not condemned to repeat it.

Wish me luck, as I will wish you peace & love & safety. Onward & upward.

09/16/2024

Just my bimonthly checkin because even my best friends have gotten worried and I’m sorry. (Does anyone else become the absolute worst version of themselves when getting ready for a trip or is it just me?)

Allergy test confirmed what I already know, I’m allergic to air. Unless it’s to get on a plane of course I don’t even want to leave the house. (And yes I know about my freckles and yes I have a dermatologist thank you.) I had to replace my favorite pillows, get a v v large dehumidifier, now have to get weekly shots, it’s a whole thing but I’m hoping it will relieve a lifetime of discomfort. My favorite friends are still Scarlet and Blue even if they are trying to get rid of me via my respiratory system.

I also finally got some answers as to why I’ve been feeling generally unwell for a few years and that’s great but the detoxing from the toxes is muy difícil even though Buddy really loves the sauna part. (Feliz Día de la independencia! Happy Mexican Heritage Month!! I’m sad I will not be in Mexico this fall because I really really really wanted to celebrate Día de Mu***os there but I promise I’m going somewhere equally as special and there’s always next year.)

Anyway. It’s getting colder here which excites me because my cute clothes are fall/winter. It also means hermiting will become more socially acceptable so 🙂. Currently binging Virgin River, it’s a nice mind numbing alternative to books and ofc socials. And also trying a few new things I’m not ready to share yet but I will. Anyway. What are you up to? How’s life? You ready for a big change tomorrow with the eclipse? What’s shifting in your world?

Sending you lots of love from my corner. 🫶

08/27/2024

More things ending than beginning and that’s ok by me.

08/12/2024

I don’t regret how I choose to spend my time. I don’t wish I did more, I don’t wish I’d shown up. I do what I can & make no apologies because the majority of my life has been doing what was really hard because I had to & I don’t have to anymore.

I spent an average of 16 minutes per day on my phone last week. This absolutely feels like a win.

I love my job so it’s not hard to get up every day & go. I love my people so it’s easy to ask what they need from me when I have the capacity to help. I love ironing so my sister is v v lucky. 🙃. I love my weekends sitting at the table working on paint by number or itineraries even if they get interrupted by cats wanting pets.

I made a decision to stop spending my weekends on commitments or with anyone but my partner. I’m not an expert & in fact have had some really sh*tty relationships but it’s the best decision I’ve made. I stopped putting stress of being on time or showing up on him & now we have easy breezy weekends where we don’t have to worry about the time. There are plenty of things I could or should be doing, a long list of things I’d love to do, but I know at the end of my days I will not regret spending weekends with him instead of something else. (Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve asked him to go play golf so that I can get things done around the house, but I have eliminated the expectation to show up for everything by saying no to it all. Also I never get the approval I think I’m going to get or have been conditioned to strive for so why bother being everything for everyone & instead show up for the one who shows up for me.🙃)

I didn’t get to take a trip this summer that I really really wanted to take that I watched many of my friends take. I don’t feel jealousy or regret or FOMO as a rule & I move on quickly but part of me was really disappointed. I had to adult & in exchange we got a generator & a filtered shower head so ask me again in the peak of winter or tornado season if I wish I’d taken that trip instead. I think I already know the answer esp since they had torrential rain the week I would have gone. C’est la vie! No regerts!

Doing less. Loving more—mostly myself. Little Michelle would be proud.

07/24/2024

I forget sometimes how good it feels to your nervous system to be around people who love and accept you (I definitely don’t take for granted the one I get to share a home with, but I’m specifically talking about the girl friend types). They know who they are and I’m learning who they are and especially who they aren’t. (If you’re a round peg stop trying to fit into a square hole.)

I got some new silk nightgowns and a total steal on this robe and am absolutely obsessed and now all I need is one of those long cigarette holders and a martini to complete my ensemble. If you’re looking for me and I’m not at Eggshells I’ll be laying in bed with my cat watching Velvet or planning my next adventure with my pal Rick Steves to commence after the 2 I’ve already planned lolsob. ✈️

What’s your favorite part of a pop tart? Mine has always been the corner. 🙃😘🫶

07/08/2024

My first trip to Charleston happened 12 years ago today, and ignited my love for travel (and little did I know plant a seed for my love to eventually find his way to me.) I find myself here now anxious that I’m not traveling last or this week (I’ve spent the better part of those 12 years traveling around the 4th), but also grateful for this little corner I call home and that it is safe and warm and comfortable and filled with people and animals I love tremendously.

(However next year there must be a trip.😭)

I’m a little out of sorts lately. Trying to find my place, my space, my vision for the future. It’s a little foggy if I’m being honest. All I can see are beaches and sunsets and sparkles on water so hopefully there will be a lot of those coming. But for now, I’m unmoored. Feeling like something is missing but not sure what. Is this grief? How long does it last? Is this forever? Is my brain permanently mush? I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m still scrambling around in the dark trying to find something to fill the void of motherhood, jewelry making, astrology, facilitating, being a big sister to 3. I haven’t found it yet. I have to dig up my garden and the fence is not even done yet. (please don’t ask about the digging, it’s so much). I haven’t been able to handle the heat for plein air. I haven’t had a cooking class in a month. All of my go to’s haven’t been there for me lately, which brings me back to square one. Who is Michelle now?

Anyway. I know we don’t do captions and people don’t read long form anymore but I’m nothing if not defiant. Here’s to hoping my space/place/outlet makes its way to me, as have all the best things in my life. 🪄

06/17/2024

How it started how it’s going where we’re headed oh hey summer.✨🪴☀️🫶

04/09/2024

I have a plan. 🪄

02/19/2024

Someone recently downplayed & diminished what I had been holding onto as the very essence of my soul. The sum & substance (😉) & meaning of my life thus far was ridiculed & I was given a look like, ‘you didn’t really think you did anything, did you? Oh no, you did.’ (My people will get the reference here.)

A lot of my life has been my ego thinking I’m very important & the universe smacking me around a little to remind me I’m only the center of my own world. Not anyone else’s.

I am now grieving another person, who I thought I was & what I thought I’d done in this life. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I know my focus has apparently been in all the wrong places & what I thought was, well, wrong. My contribution to what I thought was the best thing I could possibly do was apparently a small grain of rice in the overflowing cornucopia of people who made this thing a thing. I thought I’d done everything & the perception is that I’ve done little. Talk about punch to the gut.

I know what I’ve done. I know what I’ve done is the most important. But I can’t & I won’t convince anyone else that’s true.

So. I’m entering an era that doesn’t quite have a name yet, & I’m still trying to figure out what kind of pants leg we are wearing now. I want to call it my IDGAF era but let’s be honest I was kind of born with that aura (if you don’t truly know me.) I want to capture joy in a bottle & take it with me everywhere I go. I want to experience life & juicy tomatoes & lazy Sundays. I want to know that the people I’ve loved have carried that love on into the word & shared it. I don’t want to ask permission anymore. I won’t.

I know, trivial stuff, but if I’m to do the right and the meaningful & the important work I have to be wearing the proper pants.

Anyways. I wish my life was a carefully curated charcuterie board with produce out of my French market tote but really it’s grocery sacks & takeout salads. I believe it can be that & still be a great life. Because it IS. And I intend to spend the rest of it hopefully leaving an imprint that is valuable in some way, though I don’t know what that is yet. Still searching for that message in a bottle.

02/13/2024

I’m not any closer to figuring out what I want to be when I grow up than I was last Tuesday. I completed my final module of a 2.5 year journey through family constellations and have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do with it. We did a constellation to see who my future clients are and it ended up with my client being represented by a book case and my representative in a chair with a lamp. Does this mean more learning? Does this mean more writing? Does this mean more laying in bed with my cat ala Evil Stepmother and reading?

I am surrounded by people moving along with their days while I watch others suffer. While my head and my heart are still lost. I feel like I’m standing still while everything around me is spinning at the speed of light. I am sad and I am mad and also I still have to work and move through the world as if none of it is happening. Many days I’m not sure how I get from sunrise to sunset. I don’t want my pictures of cake to distract from the fact that there are atrocities happening in the world. I also am grieving, and doing things with my hands and looking at pictures of things I would like to make helps. I wish I knew the answer to stop the suffering within and without and I’m willing to follow anyone who does.

Anyway. Perhaps both my heart and head needed this pause. Perhaps with everything happening in the world I could not emotionally and ethically continue with business as usual. I’ll never know if I needed this or if I forced this stone cold quitting of everything. Am I just being lazy? I will perhaps see if it is the nail in the coffin of my creative projects or a rest before the tempest of my best work. I’ve never been this void of things to do.

I find it isn’t entirely healthy to be so free, especially with a mind like mine.

So I’ve signed up for 2 cooking classes and booked my solo trip for this year and planned workshops and have ideas swimming around in my head waiting to find somewhere to land.

I sure do wish I had a fig tree. I sure do wish I still had my sister.

01/29/2024

January.

My youngest sister’s birthday was Saturday. First one without her. I had my epic meltdown post workout because all I could think of was how proud she was of me. Then I broke out in hives. What does it all mean? I have no idea what it all means. The memories come and go in waves. Still. Maybe always.

First Monday post vacation. 0/10 would recommend.

Now terrified of becoming cheugy, thanks a lot.

Feeling my brain and my soul transform into something new. Have you seen Elemental? It feels kinda like that. Creativity has always been my catharsis. What will I make out of this new experience? How will I transmute it? Isn’t everyone tired of seeing me change and morph?

I’m not. There are still so many people I want to be.

I still love the silence, but this part of my journey feels strange. Like I’m on the cusp of something I don’t understand because no one has discovered it yet. I am so unmoored. What will it be? Who will I become?

Every day can’t be on the beach without a single responsibility. But I can find myself there every time I look up and see the ones and the things and the beings I love. My heart swells, even though it’s cracked. I am happy. I am sad. I am open. I am scared. I am human.

01/08/2024

Random assortment of things I love today. Enjoy. 🤲🐑🤍🐇⬜️❕🦢

Moon+Myrrh

11/10/2024

09/16/2024

08/27/2024

08/12/2024

07/24/2024

07/08/2024

06/17/2024

04/09/2024

02/19/2024

02/13/2024

01/29/2024

01/08/2024

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