11/25/2025
My formal apology:
To the community,
I'd like to issue a heartfelt apology for the following realities:
I apologize for showing up to births with an unreasonable amount of counter-pressure techniques, comfort measures, and calm energy.
I understand it’s disorienting when someone walks in and actually knows what to do with a hip squeeze.
I apologize for supporting your partner, too.
I recognize that helping them feel confident, useful, and connected may cause unexpected warm feelings and fewer freak-outs.
I apologize for reminding you that you have options.
We know the ability to say “yes,” “no,” or “I need a minute” can be startling in a medical system that can at times, rush people.
I sincerely apologize for being on-call, answering your messages at 2am, reassuring you that the weird thing your body is doing is, in fact, normal, and then showing up on your doorstep looking surprisingly awake.
I apologize for staying through the whole birth.
Yes, the whole thing.
Even when it’s long.
Even when it’s longer than long.
I realize consistency and presence can be alarming.
I apologize for celebrating your strength, trusting your instincts, and believing in you even on the days you don’t believe in yourself.
And above all,
I apologize for making you feel supported, informed, respected, and never alone.
I know that level of care is simply unacceptable in today’s world.
Thank you for your patience as I continue being… well... Your Doula
With love,
Brenda ❤️