08/07/2025
Who’s ready for my Thursday morning TED Talk! 🎤
This is one of those soapboxes I will never step down from, because it matters that much. I will continue to shout it louder for the people in the back:
✨ We cannot expect preschoolers, kindergarteners, and even school-aged children to have self-regulation skills that even adults struggle with.
✨ We cannot punish children for being dysregulated when they are still learning how to feel, express, and process big emotions.
✨ Self-regulation is a skill, not something you’re born with. It develops over time, with support, modeling, and coregulation.
If the skills for self-regulation aren’t developmentally ready until early adulthood, why are we asking toddlers and preschoolers to do this alone?
Our job isn’t to demand regulation or expect a child to know how to maintain their regulation, it’s to offer support for and model it ourselves.
It’s to lead with connection, safety, and relationship.
It’s to show up with them, in the mess, in the storm, and say:
“I’m here. I’ve got you. Let’s figure this out together.”
📣 Let’s shift the narrative. Let’s change the expectations. Let’s be the adults our kids can lean on, not the ones they have to fear.
💭 Tag a fellow parent, teacher, or therapist who needs this reminder today.
