Empower Marriage and Family Therapy

Empower Marriage and Family Therapy An eclectic group practice dedicated to holistic emotional wellness for adults, teens, and couples.

Is this a test?! 🥲
12/09/2024

Is this a test?! 🥲

In my 'I'll do it later' era... and thriving ✨
11/25/2024

In my 'I'll do it later' era... and thriving ✨

*sighs in disbelief* 😮‍💨
11/18/2024

*sighs in disbelief* 😮‍💨

11/15/2024

Good Girl Syndrome...

Somewhere along the way, you may have learned that in order to gain love, approval, connection and belonging - you had to be a good girl. It was an existential defense against disconnection...being good equates to being safe.

As children, when there’s a choice between maintaining connection with our caregivers and being true to our own needs, desires, and longings - we choose connection every time. Connection = survival.

A good girl complex in adulthood may look like:

- Sacrificing authenticity to keep a relationship.
- Feeling like having needs is selfish, needy, or unlovable.
- Staying in relationships, even when you’re disappearing, in order to stay in connection.
- Turning on yourself when someone else has a different truth.
- Needing approval, permission in order to do something for yourself.
- good

Does this resonate with you?

Honoring with reverence the part of you that needed to shrink in order to survive. As an adult, we get to look at these strategies of survival and heal the wounded parts that had to use these techniques to maintain connection.

Ugh I swear!!
11/11/2024

Ugh I swear!!

good morning, dear one.if you’re waking up with shame this morning or disappointment or sadness, ive got you.when we’re ...
10/30/2024

good morning, dear one.

if you’re waking up with shame this morning or disappointment or sadness, ive got you.

when we’re in a place of shame, we need more love - not less.

wishing you ease, gentleness, and buckets of self-compassion. i see your goodness bb 💜

Oops! You're off my imaginary list 😐
10/28/2024

Oops! You're off my imaginary list 😐

Listen, love, if you are carrying resentment, it is on you to take responsibility.Owning your resentment is both loving ...
10/23/2024

Listen, love, if you are carrying resentment, it is on you to take responsibility.

Owning your resentment is both loving and key to healthy relationships. Resentment often surfaces in relationships when you're over giving, when you're sacrificing your needs when you're not clear about your boundaries. Resentment can be a powerful indicator of unmet needs, unspoken boundaries, and people pleasing.

You can learn so much about yourself when you look at your resentment.

What is yours showing you? Let me know in the comments below.

Honestly... this helps 🙂‍↕️
10/21/2024

Honestly... this helps 🙂‍↕️

What needs come to mind when you think of basic human needs?For me, what used to come to mind was food, family, s*x, she...
10/16/2024

What needs come to mind when you think of basic human needs?

For me, what used to come to mind was food, family, s*x, shelter, enough water to drink…

After doing my own work and eventually becoming a therapist, I’ve had a front row seat to seeing people excavate their deepest longings and needs (and the pain that comes up when those needs are neglected, ignored, or unmet).

We need connection.

We need to feel known, seen and understood.

We need beauty.

We need play.

We need money.

We need to feel purposeful.

We need rest and nourishment.

We need pleasure.

We need community and connection.

Learning to turn TOWARDS your needs heals the forgotten child. Tuning in to how you feel, what your body is communicating and what your deepest longings are brings us back to life.

You deserve to have your needs met.

You deserve to have your longings CELEBRATED.

So take a deep breath.

Check in with yourself...

What do you most need right now?

No doubt, no doubt, no doubt 🫠
10/14/2024

No doubt, no doubt, no doubt 🫠

If someone is disappointed that you can’t make it, let them be disappointed.If someone is disappointed that you aren’t a...
10/09/2024

If someone is disappointed that you can’t make it, let them be disappointed.

If someone is disappointed that you aren’t available, let them be disappointed.

If someone is disappointed that you haven’t lived up to their expectations of you, let them be disappointed.

If someone is disappointed that you are human and you made a mistake, let them be disappointed.

But let me be clear - it can still be uncomfortable! I can’t tell you how many people have said about their parents, partners, friends I’ve heard: “Yell at me but please don’t tell me that you’re disappointed in me.” It cuts. Feeling like someone is disappointed in you might bring out that little child inside that just wants to love, connection and approval.

Here’s a reminder for your grown self: It is not your job to manage the emotional response that people have to your boundaries. When you try to rescue them from having a genuine experience - you might be taking away an opportunity for them to process a feeling that they need to work through.

And if we’re going to apply the logic that ‘all feelings are valid,’ doesn’t that apply to their feelings as well? They get to feel disappointed - that feeling is valid.

That doesn’t mean we get to run around being as****es - because yes, that is indeed disappointing. But, setting boundaries, speaking up for what you need, canceling plans, changing your mind, ending a relationship - you’re allowed to do those AND people are allowed to feel disappointed.

Address

1635 East Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, CA
90802

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 6pm
Tuesday 9am - 6pm
Wednesday 9am - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 6pm
Friday 9am - 6pm

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