04/18/2026
Dr. Noemi Adame sat in the ICU watching her mother die. She was sending refills to the pharmacy and answering patient texts at the same time.
She is a board-certified pediatrician. She owned the practice. She was the boss. And she did not feel she could disconnect, even then.
This is what years of socialization to put everyone else first does to a woman in medicine. And the data backs up what every female physician already knows: portal data shows patients and staff make 25% more requests of female primary care doctors than male. Same patient panel. Same workday on paper. 25% more messages, refill requests, and follow-ups landing in her inbox.
When Adame was still in corporate medicine, she was always the last one in clinic. Her male colleagues left at 5:00. She stayed for hours. She thought she was inefficient. She asked her employer for a time flow study to figure out what was wrong with her. The EHR super-user who shadowed her concluded she was actually faster than average. Her notes were so thorough, a scribe would have been a downgrade. The problem was never her speed. The problem was that the system she worked in routes more invisible labor to female physicians and pays them the same as male physicians who do less of it.
A JAMA article found that while women generally outlive men, female physicians do not get that longevity benefit. Female doctors deliver measurably better patient outcomes across multiple specialties, and they pay for it with their lives. Better for your health. Not for hers.
If you know a female physician who keeps staying two hours late, who keeps apologizing for running behind, who keeps taking the 6 PM appointment because the patient cannot make any other time, send her this conversation. She has been told the problem is her time management. The data says the problem is the workload distribution.
Adame also walks through the FAST framework she now uses to hold a boundary: Is this fair to both parties? Don't apologize, say "thank you for waiting." Stick to your values. Tell the truth about what you are giving up.
Listen to the full conversation on The Podcast by KevinMD. Link in the comments.
If you are a female physician, what is the most consistent unpaid task patients or staff ask of you that they would not ask of your male colleagues?
