05/18/2023
I think I need this on a t-shirt!
Many, many autistic people will say what they mean.
Many, many non-autistic people will read our words and respond to our ‘tone’ or perceived judgement/intent. Classic double empathy problem at work.
Let me save you the trouble.
I will always say what I mean.
If you read my words and then respond to something that I did not write (such as an assumption, judgement, tone, insult)- I can promise you that it was not there.
The general vibe of my page is (I like to think) positive, educational, enlightening, and neurodiversity-affirming.
If you ask for information, I’m happy to give it.
If you want my opinion, I’m usually happy to share it.
If you come here using language that is not Neurodiversity affirming, I will probably correct you (in the nicest possible way), and then assure you that everyone is learning, everyone is doing their best, and thank you for listening to the autistic community.
If I disagree with you, I will do so respectfully, without judgement. I literally do not know how to be aggressive with someone. You are welcome to your opinion. I am welcome to mine. We don’t need to agree. I’m not going to fight about it. I get zero joy from arguing with people. It actually stresses me out hugely.
Everyone is welcome to go ahead and read literally all my words in a neutral or positive tone.
If you ever read a comment from me that you find offensive or judgemental or negative, please reread it a few times over and try to take all tone away. My words were probably not offensive. Whatever tone overlay you were using was likely the issue. If you read my comment aloud in a genuinely kind or helpful voice, is it still offensive? I’m guessing not. (Fun experiment: read that last paragraph aloud in a really scathing, annoyed voice. Then reread it in the kindest, most earnest voice you can. The message changes quite a lot with tone.)
Many autistic people don’t hear tone, in themselves or others.
Best thing to do is listen to our words.
Oh, and if you do still consider me to be offensive or judgemental, or just annoying, that’s fine. I’m not for everyone. You’re welcome to go (said in a genuine, kind tone ✌️)
Em 🌈🌻🫶
AuDHD SLP
