Emma Liles, LPC-Associate

08/07/2025

07/10/2025

When you try to “make someone feel better” when they’re struggling, you make it about you.

The best thing you can do (when you choose to & have the emotional bandwidth) is hold space for someone else’s feelings.
Sit beside them.
Mirror back what you hear them saying to help them process.
Ask about how it feels.
Acknowledge and validate the emotion.
Ask them what they need.

And oftentimes, it’s most helpful to just be with them; you really don’t have to add any new information. Safety and understanding are incredibly beautiful gifts.

On an episode of the The Morning Show a character says something like, “when someone is experiencing tragedy, there’s nothing you can say to make it better, but there’s a whole lot you can say to make it worse. [I] just try not to make it worse.”

And I find that true.

You have to let others have their feelings.
It empowers them, helps them connect to what’s going on internally, and allows them to move through the feeling.

It makes it safe for them to do the very hard but human thing we all need to do but struggle so much with; feel what we need to feel.

If you can’t tolerate other people’s uncomfortable feelings, you might want to ask yourself, how do I handle my own big feelings?
How did adults respond to my feelings?
Do I resist them and push them away?

To build resilience is to learn how to be with difficulty - not to simply ignore it, try to change it, or push it away.

When you learn how to sit with your own feelings, it becomes so much easier to be with someone else in theirs. That’s one of the many beautiful aspects of self-work - our capacity for empathy & understanding increases and ripples outward.

And if this is something you're working on, becoming a safer space for yourself and others to feel deeply, the Cycle Breakers program begins September 2nd.
This is a year long program for those committed and dedicated to changing old patterns. Committed to bringing their patterns to light and slowly and intentionally meeting themselves with more safety, generosity, compassion, and accountability as they begin to break old cycles and patterns of relating to themselves, others and the world. And it’s done in small, supportive, heart-centered community.
Register before July 11 and receive a free 1:1 with me before the program begins - only a couple are left!
More info & registration at the link below:
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers

07/02/2025

We are so proud of Blair, Debi, Emma, and Kathryne for completing the 40 hours of EMDR training and 10 hours of consultations in order to offer competent and high-quality EMDR services to our community! They join 5 other EMDR-trained staff in our office.

06/23/2025

06/15/2025

06/14/2025

I am officially a fully trained EMDR provider! 🥹

05/26/2025

1. Setting and maintaining healthier boundaries.
Saying no when needed protects your emotional space.

2. Tolerating discomfort without avoiding it.
Facing challenges head-on without running from them shows real growth.

3. Becoming more self-aware.
Recognizing your feelings, triggers, and patterns is a sign of increased emotional intelligence.

4. Taking responsibility for your actions.
Accepting accountability, even for mistakes, indicates you're maturing emotionally.

5. Letting go of perfectionism.
Understanding that growth is a journey helps you accept progress over perfection,

6. Becoming more resilient.
Even when things don’t go your way, you can bounce back faster and more effectively.

7. Prioritizing healthy relationships.
You’re letting go of toxic people and investing in connections that nurture and support you.

8. Embracing vulnerability.
Opening up and being honest — especially about struggles — shows deep personal growth.

9. Making decisions based on long-term values, not short-term comfort.
Choosing what aligns with your deeper goals, even when it's hard, shows growth in self-discipline.

10. Forgiving yourself and others.
Letting go of resentment, bitterness, and guilt signals emotional healing and maturity

Growth isn't always loud or obvious. It's in the quiet choices you make daily — setting a boundary, choosing to stay present, forgiving yourself... These signs seem small under a microscope, but they signal significant progress. Focus on the big picture.

05/21/2025

For years, terms like “big T” and “little t” trauma were used to help explain that not all trauma looks the same.

Big T trauma usually refers to events that are obvious and acute ( accidents, abuse, violence, or natural disasters).
Little t trauma is often quieter, but just as real (chronic disconnection, emotional neglect, bullying, growing up unseen or unsupported),

The terms were meant to help us make sense of it all. But over time, I’ve realized: they can also get in the way.

When we call something “little t,” we risk minimizing it - not just to others, but to ourselves. We start to wonder: Was it really that bad? Shouldn’t I be over this? Do I even deserve to call this trauma?

But trauma isn’t about the size of the event. It’s about the impact. We each carry different histories, nervous systems, and relational wounds - so what overwhelms one person might not even register for another.

That doesn’t make it “less”. It just makes it yours.
The language we use shapes how we heal. So instead of asking, “Was it big T or little t?”- what if we asked:

🔹Did this experience overwhelm a part of me?

🔹What story did it leave me holding about myself or others?

🔹Is there a part of me that still reacts as if I’m not safe?

🔹Have I ever felt truly seen in the pain this caused me?

🔹What would it look like to bring compassion to that part now?

04/30/2025