03/16/2026
When emotions erupt, most people think they’ve already lost control.
The heart is racing.
Your voice gets sharper than you intended.
Your thoughts start stacking on top of each other.
In those moments, many people either explode… or shut down.
But emotional regulation is a skill—and it can be practiced right in the middle of the moment.
In my book When Emotions Erupt, I share a simple three-step process I’ve used for years:
Interrupt. Identify. Install.
1️⃣ Interrupt
The first step is to interrupt the emotional momentum.
Pause. Take a slow breath. Step away if you need to.
This simple interruption gives your nervous system a chance to shift out of automatic reaction.
2️⃣ Identify
Ask yourself: What am I actually feeling right now?
Often there’s a deeper emotion under the surface—fear, disappointment, overwhelm.
Naming the emotion helps the brain begin to regulate it.
3️⃣ Install
Once you see what’s happening, you can consciously choose a better response.
Install a new thought, a calmer belief, or a grounding action that aligns with who you want to be in the moment.
Interrupt the reaction.
Identify the emotion.
Install the response.
With practice, those three steps create space between stimulus and reaction—and that space is where emotional mastery begins.
Because the goal isn’t to never feel intense emotion.
The goal is learning how to navigate it skillfully when it arises.
