Cooperative Coparenting

Cooperative Coparenting I’m a therapist, an author, a mom, a co-parent and a co-parenting coach living and working in LA. 💕

04/21/2026

When your kids lose consistent access to one parent, or feel like they have to choose sides, it can create long-term effects on their sense of safety, identity, and trust in relationships.

Your children deserve access to both parents, and they deserve to feel secure, not divided.

It's hard to try and co-parent with someone you don't ever want to see again, but it's worth putting your emotions aside to raise well-adjusted children who thrive.

As a co-parenting coach, I can help you move from conflict to cooperation, so your children can feel secure, supported, and free to be kids. They deserve the best, and so do you! 💙

04/14/2026

I won't pretend we got here overnight. There was a time when communication with my ex felt tense, loaded, and exhausting.

These boundaries didn’t fix everything overnight, but they gave us the limits and the clarity we needed to focus on what truly mattered - our kid.

Every single one of these boundaries moved us from conflict to feeling a bit more like a team. This is what cooperative coparenting can actually look like up close. It's not easy. But it's worth it. 💙

04/09/2026

Your attachment style + your ex’s attachment style = your child’s emotional environment.

Let that land for a second.

You’re both navigating a separation, different values, different ways of communicating, trauma triggers, and the resurfacing of patterns that were shaped long before the relationship. These are the roots of conflict, inconsistency, misalignment, emotional dysregulation, and distrust which can cause unseen but deepening chips within your child’s security.

But it doesn’t have to stay this way.

My Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids Course is a 12-week program that gives you the tools to break the cycle. Scripts for hard conversations. Frameworks for putting your kid first even when old wounds get triggered. And a community of parents walking the same road.

Join here: https://mailchi.mp/aurishasmolarski/cooperative-co-parenting-for-secure-kids

Divorce is more common than we think—and so is learning how to co-parent well.Millions of families are navigating custod...
04/07/2026

Divorce is more common than we think—and so is learning how to co-parent well.

Millions of families are navigating custody schedules, school pickups, learning new boundaries, hard conversations, and everything in between.

Co-parenting isn’t perfect. But even on the hardest days, just remember that you’re not alone in this. You are part of a community of millions of parents who know exactly how this feels. 💙

03/31/2026

A cooperative co-parenting relationship creates emotional safety for your child.

It reassures them they are not losing a parent due to your divorce and that they don’t have to choose between the two of you.

And it allows them to focus on what is most important—being a kid.

That’s the goal. 💙

03/24/2026

Does your co-parent gaslight you? 😓

It can leave you second-guessing yourself, replaying conversations, and wondering what’s actually real. Over time, it becomes exhausting—and it can make even simple communication feel impossible.

Here are some ways that you can manage it without putting your kid in the middle. Save this post and share it with a friend who could use it!📍

Have any further questions about how to deal with this? Leave them in the comments below ⤵️

03/17/2026

When families change shape, children still need the same thing: security, love, and stability.

In Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes, Aurisha shares a compassionate, practical roadmap for parents navigating separation or divorce while keeping their child’s emotional well-being at the center.

If you’re navigating co-parenting or supporting someone who is, this is a resource you’ll want on your shelf. Get your copy today!

https://www.aurishasmolarski.com/book/

03/12/2026

The outside world often only sees the surface stuff — the schedules, the school pickups, the photos, the routines. What they don’t see is the emotional work happening behind the scenes.

That work matters.

Even when it feels invisible.
Even when no one says “good job.”
Even when progress feels slow.

Every time you choose patience, boundaries, and emotional safety for your child, you are doing something incredibly brave. If you're parenting through a difficult season right now, take a moment to acknowledge the work you're doing.
I SEE YOU!!

It counts. And your child will feel the difference. 💙

03/10/2026

Are you feeling tired and overwelmed by the constant back and forths with your co-parent?
Your nervous system might be staying stuck in self protection mode. It's time for you to reclaim your energy and your freedom.

Here are 5 things you can do starting now:
1. Write everything down. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen. Use email or a co-parenting app and treat every message like a judge might read it someday.

2. Keep it narrow. Health, safety, school, schedule. That's it. Everything else gets minimal energy.

3. Stop chasing agreement. Court orders and written terms are what matter — not verbal understandings that can be rewritten later.

4. Slow your responses. Most messages are not emergencies, even when they feel like one. Waiting before you reply is a skill worth building.

5. Expect the chaos. When you stop hoping that this time will be different, the flare-ups stop feeling personal. They become predictable. And predictable is manageable.

👉 The most regulated parent wins — not in arguments, but in credibility. Over time, consistency is the strategy.

02/26/2026

Why This Works (and Gets You Back Into Your Wise Mind)

When you’re stressed or triggered, your nervous system shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, preparing you to defend yourself. Your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes offline — and your survival brain takes over, making it hard for you to think or behave from a place of clarity.

🟥 It's like allowing your 5 year old self to drive your car... NOT SAFE!

Slow breathing changes that.

Long exhales activate the body’s calming system, slowing heart rate, lowering stress hormones, and signaling to your brain:
😌 There is no immediate danger.

As your body settles, your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for judgment, empathy, and problem-solving — comes back online.

🟩 Now your adult self is back in the drivers seat... SAFE!

This is what therapists call "returning to your wise mind": where you have the capacity to think, speak, and behave from a more grounded and calm place. You will be able to gain perspective, and make better decisions.

You calm the body first — and the mind follows.

💙 So next time you are about to send a text… do this 4,7,8 exercise and gain the true empowerment that you are wanting.

What's the difference between walls and boundaries?Walls build distance and burden the kids.Boundaries build stability. ...
02/24/2026

What's the difference between walls and boundaries?

Walls build distance and burden the kids.
Boundaries build stability.

Walls may make you feel like you are protecting yourself. They can feel like power. Like control. Like “I’m done getting hurt.”

❌ But walls are rigid.
❌ Walls are unproductive
❌ They are temporary.
❌ They shut down communication.
❌ They block collaboration.
❌ Kids often absorb the stress and tension.

Boundaries are different.

✅ Boundaries are clear and respectful.
✅ They reduce conflict without disconnecting from parenting responsibilities.
✅ They protect your child from being put in the middle.
✅ They allow you to disengage from drama — without disengaging from your role as a parent.

Boundaries create predictability.
Predictability creates safety.
Safety frees kids to just be kids.

Healthy Boundaries are good for you, your coparent, and your kid.

01/29/2026

When a text from your co-parent triggers you, these steps can help you regulate your emotions so you can protect both your nervous system and your kids.

Here’s the short version ⬇️

When the text comes in:

1️⃣ Say hello to the trigger sensation in your body.
“Hi tightness.” “Hello heat rising in my chest.” “Hi heart beating.” “I hear you. I feel you.”

2️⃣ Interrupt the old pattern.
If it feels urgent, it’s probably fear. Remind yourself that you are not in danger and you do not need to respond immediatey.

3️⃣ Pause and regulate before responding.
Take a breath. Look around the room. Ground your body. Look at something beautiful.

4️⃣ Feel and bring compassion to the emotion — don’t ignore it. Name the emotion or the belief.
“I feel angry.” “I feel unsafe.” “I feel powerless.” Sit with the uncomfortable emotions and send them compassion. “This is hard. This makes sense.”
Now notice how your body feels more regulated and the trigger sensations have subsided.

Do you want me to send you a free demo of how to regulate and heal? Type “Breathe” in the comments and I’ll send it to you.

Every regulated response is one step closer to your freedom and empowerment. This is how co-parenting becomes less reactive and more secure for your kids — one pause at a time. You got this! 🫶🏻

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