Till Death Doula Parts

09/12/2023

During my death doula training, we were each asked to meditate on these contemplations developed by 11th century Buddhist scholar Atisha.

Ironically, I find that facing these 9 contemplations actually brings me more peace than it does fear.

I think I'll be adding them to my morning meditation!

Which contemplation resonates with you the most?

Which one do you struggle with the most?

Which one inspires you the most?

09/08/2023

I'm SO excited to hold my first VIRTUAL Your Good Death workshop!

Sunday, October 8th at 11a PT on Zoom.

Get cozy with a beverage and treats of your choosing, and let's support one another in facing our fears and beliefs around death and dying, and empower one another to envision what a "good" death means to us as individuals.

We'll lift the veil, acknowledge the elephant in the room, and leave feeling inspired to live as fully and authentically as possible.

It's going to be delightful ❤️

Tickets can be purchased through the link in my bio.

***sliding scale available. DM me to hear more!

09/02/2023

Lauren Richwine provides "community led death care" to educate people about alternatives to traditional funerals. The state says she needs a license.

08/31/2023

I want to live deeply.

To experience every last inch of my life.

I want to live as liberated as possible.

Unapologetically, authentically, daringly me.

I don't want my life to be something I get through.

I want it to be something I experience fully.

Sitting with the uncomfortable, celebrating the joyful, staying curious during the mundane.

Always learning, always growing, always persevering.

I want that for you, too.

08/16/2023

Whether intentional or not, we all leave a legacy behind.

You live on through loved ones, friends, colleagues, anyone who has come into contact with some piece of you.

Many death doulas specialize in working on legacy projects with their clients. This can be virtually ANYTHING, from a recipe book, to letters, to a full blown novel. It can be a water ballet! Yes, I've seen one, and it was magical.

What would you like your legacy to be? How do you hope to be remembered? And is there anything you would like to complete before you die?

I'd love to hear from you below in the comments! Feel free to DM me as well 😊

05/09/2023

It's been a bit since I've popped on here to introduce myself.

First off, as I write this, I have over 900 lovely humans following my page. Welcome! I'm so incredibly honored to take up space on your IG feed 😊.

My name is Kelly Fabiano, and I'm the founder of Till Death Doula Parts.

I'm a death doula, amongst other things.

I believe the dying deserve to leave this world with as much agency as possible.

Supporting those at end-of-life is sacred, and I don't take that for granted. I feel beyond blessed to be able to bear witness and hold space for people during one of the most vulnerable times in their lives.

Some (fun?) facts about me:

1. I want to die alone.

2. I loathe being on the receiving end of the birthday song. People singing at me truly terrifies me.

3. Which is why musicals make me uncomfortable.

4. I drink more coffee than I should, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

5. I’m chronically anxious. The coffee probably doesn't help that.

6. I have fallen madly, deeply in love with every single one of my clients.

7. I’ve been doing this work for over two years, and just lost my first client. That's a much longer story, so I'll circle back on that some other time.

8. I worked in production finance for over a decade before finding my way here.

9. I often sleep with the Garfield Christmas special playing in the background.

10. When Fall arrives, I'm as basic as it gets. Give me all the pumpkin spice scented and flavored everything.

Ok, enough.

Nice to e-meet you, and I look forward to getting to know you! I'd love for you to drop some fun facts below, if you feel so inclined.

04/25/2023

Would love to see your thoughts below 👇

Or DM me if you want to talk it out. I love a good old fashioned disposition chat 😉.

04/09/2023

100% of my clients at this time are experiencing cognitive decline and memory loss, and/or have been formally diagnosed with some form of dementia. This letter, so beautifully written, is why I do what I do, and why supporting my clients is an absolute gift.

A client I serve is struggling with worsening dementia. She’s hired me to support her as she approaches the end of her life, and in our bi-monthly meetings, I hold space for her to share her life story. As her short-term memory and conversational skills continue to worsen, for the time being her w...

03/07/2023

Incredibly honored to talk all things end-of-life doula at the this Saturday! Would love to see you if you’re in the area!

12/10/2022

https://signalscv.com/2022/12/end-of-life-coach-wasnt-her-end-goal/

She was driving her j***y 2001 Ford Mustang down Interstate 5 toward Southern California — to “Hollywood” — on her way to live out her dreams as a famous screenwriter. She envisioned a glitzy, glamorous place like the one she saw on television in the reality show “The Hills.” On subs.....

09/21/2022

Gov. Gavin Newsom signs Assembly Bill 351, which legalizes an alternative burial method known as human composting.

08/25/2022

One of the most common responses I receive when sharing about my work with others is “I wish I had know you existed back when ____ was dying”

It’s heartbreaking to see the need and know that so many people who would love our support don’t know we exist.

My hope is that the more we get out there and share our gifts with others, the greater the awareness.

And for those of you that now know…we’re here 💜.

05/19/2022

This is coming from a person who would lie awake all night terrified it might be my last. It’s possible friends!

05/16/2022

Just a friendly reminder that I’m now officially available to hold space for fellow death doulas and caregivers as a life coach!

If you’re a caregiver or death worker who needs support in:

✨ carving out time and space for yourself
✨wants to reconnect with yourself after being everything to everyone else
✨ needs to create boundaries between the work you do and your identity outside of it
✨have powerful goals you would like to achieve

I’m here for it!

This is a brand new offering so I’ve priced it at a beta rate, AND I offer sliding scale as well as other payment plans/structures. I want this offer to be as accessible as possible so I’m always open to conversation ❤️.

If this offer pulls at you in any way- please book a discovery call. It’s completely complimentary.

You can book your call here: https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=23853742&appointmentType=33379679

05/12/2022

The list is pretty exhaustive as to what a death doula CAN provide the dying and their care communities, but there are things that we cannot provide as well.

It's important to specify that we do not replace the need for medical care (such as palliative or hospice care), nor do we have the authority to charge for services that would be provided by a funeral director.

What we offer is a compliment to those services/methods of care. We are not the competition. We just want our clients to have MORE available to them.

Death Doulas can provide so much to their clients and families:

🍃 advocacy for the client's wishes, needs and desires
🍃 a safe space for the client to feel/voice/be with all that is coming up for them during this incredibly isolating and potentially terrifying time
🍃 the opportunity to create a legacy project to leave behind for those they love
🍃 comfort, compassion and grace
🍃 respite for the caregivers who are often teetering on burnout
🍃 education and advanced planning support for those of us that would like to explore what our wishes are well before our "time" arrives
🍃 creating beautiful ritual before, during and after a client has died

and much, much more...

I know we have to "stay in our lane" but it makes me giddy to see just how wide our lane is 😊

05/12/2022

A helpful article on the the thin line between death doulas and home funeral guides, and the thick line between end of life support and the regulated funeral industry.

https://www.nedalliance.org/uploads/1/0/9/9/109917739/caution_dead_ahead_lee_webster.pdf

04/27/2022

That saying "it takes a village" was really put into an expansive perspective for me when reading bell hooks' "all about love."

In her book, hooks dedicates an entire chapter on community and the necessity for us to live beyond the nuclear family.

Family is messy, and the smaller they are, the smaller our own individual lense becomes. The patriarchal nuclear family often lends to mothers taking on much more of the responsibility for raising their children, and the children then looking to the mom for guidance on how to move within the world.

To some that might be comforting (as it can be appealing to have that level of power in the family unit), but to some it's stifling, and it really limits perspective if all of our guidance is coming from one or two people in our life. There's no room for difference of opinion or varied life experience.

In short - we truly need each other in order to thrive in this world.

We can't do it alone. We weren't built for it. Ask yourself: do I have all the answers? Am I prepared to be the sole authority on the human experience?

If your answer is a resounding "no" take comfort my friend. You are in good company with the rest of humanity.

04/18/2022

This one is for my deathworkers, caregivers, companions and the like. What are you doing today to fill your cup?

Deathwork is some of the most fulfilling, heart-centered work. It's also taxing and it does take an emotional and physical toll.

Have you created a support system to lean on, especially when that cup feels like it's running a little low? Mental health, spiritual and community support can help to keep that cup as full as possible.

I'd love to hear what you're doing today to fill your cup. Comment below if you feel like sharing!