Uriah Cty -Triple5Light Therapy

Uriah Cty -Triple5Light Therapy Trust and respect are vital for a strong therapeutic relationship.​ My therapeutic approach is supportive and collaborative.

I encourage active participation in therapy, focusing on growth and positive change. Due to coronavirus concerns and social distancing guidelines, I provide sessions only via telehealth for the indefinite future.

Radical acceptance is the profound ability to fully embrace and acknowledge challenging circumstances beyond our control...
06/16/2024

Radical acceptance is the profound ability to fully embrace and acknowledge challenging circumstances beyond our control without criticism or resistance, thereby lessening the distress they may create.

Accepting things as they are allows you to recognize and validate your emotions without negating, evading, or overlooking the situation. This approach can provide profound relief and is an impactful method for processing feelings and navigating challenging experiences.

Radical acceptance is firmly rooted in the belief that suffering does not stem directly from pain but rather from one's attachment to the pain.

Instead of holding on to a painful past, radical acceptance implies that non-attachment is crucial for overcoming suffering. Non-attachment doesn't entail suppressing emotions. Rather, it involves intending not to let pain escalate into suffering. It requires observing your thoughts and feelings to recognize when you're allowing yourself to feel worse than necessary.

The essence of radical acceptance lies in withholding judgment without necessarily approving of the situation. It involves acknowledging and embracing reality as it is without becoming entangled in an emotional response to that reality.

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Empathy and compassion, while distinct, are deeply connected. Empathy acts as a gateway to compassion, serving as a tran...
06/15/2024

Empathy and compassion, while distinct, are deeply connected. Empathy acts as a gateway to compassion, serving as a transformative force. It involves understanding someone's emotions and imagining how they might resonate with you—a way of connecting.

Developing empathy is not a passive process but an active one. It can be achieved in various ways, such as understanding where the other person is coming from and their experiences. This is often referred to as 'walking in their shoes.' By approaching the other person with a gentle curiosity and acknowledging that we don't know the complete story, we can start to cultivate empathy. Another active way to build empathy is through active listening. This means carefully listening to the other person's words, understanding the underlying emotions, and reflecting on their words. Active listening encourages us to focus and connect more deeply, allowing us to better grasp a person's emotions through words, tone, and micro-expressions. Being an active listener boosts empathy and fosters positive feelings in the person we communicate with.

Compassion involves the desire to take action to help others. It encompasses traits and behaviors such as recognizing the suffering of others, understanding that suffering is a universal experience, empathizing with other people's emotional experiences, tolerating distressing emotions, and feeling motivated to help alleviate the suffering of others.

Kindness is not just a random act but a deliberate and voluntary choice. It's about dedicating one's time, talent, and resources to enhance the lives of others, one's own life, and the world. It involves genuine acts of love, compassion, generosity, and service. Kindness is a choice we can make, even amidst alternatives such as apathy and anger that life presents us with. This choice may be challenged by circumstances, people, and news, but it's a beautiful ability that each of us has: the ability to choose to be kind actively.

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It’s normal to feel resentment, which involves anger or bitterness over a slight injustice or a major incide...
06/15/2024



It’s normal to feel resentment, which involves anger or bitterness over a slight injustice or a major incident. However, continuing to hold onto these feelings can negatively affect your physical and mental health.

Some people avoid addressing their feelings and continue to harbor anger at their family members or significant other. For example, maybe your sister started dating your ex after you told her it was okay, but you can’t believe she went ahead and did it. As a result, you avoid seeing her or making snide comments when you’re with her as you are so angry.

Others act out because of their resentment. Maybe you said something rude to someone at work because you can’t believe they were chosen over you for a special award. Or after your significant other was unfaithful to you, you lashed out by choosing revenge to cheat to get back at them.

Strategies to Help You Manage Resentment:

Develop self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. You are a human who made mistakes.

View the situation with empathy. When you take the other person's viewpoint and see the situation from their perspective, you might have a different take on what happened.

Be grateful. Gratitude actually makes you happier! If you're envious because your work colleague won a special award, remember that—according to one scientific study2—benign, motivating, and positive envy will appear in those who cultivate gratitude rather than the malicious, slandering type of envy.

Forgive yourself and others. Although it might be hard to let go of resentment, making peace with what happened increases your sense of well-being and purpose in life.

Reflect and identify the source of the resentment. If it is something that you can address through clear and courageous communication, practice doing so by communicating needs, boundaries, and requests. If the resentment stems from a situation out of your control, acknowledge the feelings arising from that, such as grief or rage, practice acceptance, and focus on what you can control once the feelings have been processed.

By Barbara Field

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When thinking about boundaries, what comes to mind? You might picture a property line or the defining lines of a shape. ...
06/12/2024

When thinking about boundaries, what comes to mind? You might picture a property line or the defining lines of a shape. Boundaries indicate where one thing ends and another begins. Boundaries in a relationship are similar to this; they help each person establish where one person ends and the other begins. Essentially, boundaries help you determine what you are comfortable with and how you want to be treated by others. They are relevant to any type of relationship you have – whether it's with a friend, family member, partner, or anyone else in your life.

What are the boundaries I have?

Boundaries are about respecting your own needs, goals, feelings, and values. They can be emotional, physical, or digital. Examples include:
- Not sharing passwords
- Comfortable with private affection, not public
- Prefer regular texting, not excessively
- Dedicate weekends to friends/family
- Need daily quiet time
- Open to some physical contact, not ready for intimacy

Consider your boundaries, regardless of your relationship status. Pay attention to your reactions to situations. What makes you uncomfortable? What's important to you? What do you want to keep private? Are there any dealbreakers for you? It might help to jot down your thoughts.

Communicating boundaries

In a healthy relationship, it's important to discuss boundaries with your partner. Communication is key, and it's vital to let your partner know what you appreciate or don't appreciate. Respect each other's boundaries and if uncertain, just ask! If discussing boundaries with your partner makes you hesitant due to fear of their reaction, it might indicate an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

Healthy vs. unhealthy boundaries

Understanding healthy boundaries versus unhealthy ones is important. Healthy boundaries protect and show respect, while unhealthy ones aim to control or harm. For example, needing space to spend time with friends and pursue personal interests is healthy, while a partner needing you to stop talking to others due to jealousy is not.

Can boundaries change?

It's normal for boundaries to change as we gain more experience or become more comfortable in relationships. It's important to communicate any changes to your partner, and make changes because you want to, not because you're being pressured.

You deserve to feel safe and respected, and setting boundaries is vital in building healthy relationships that allow you to be yourself.

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Everything is Good
03/15/2024

Everything is Good

What is a people pleaser? It is a person who sacrifices their own desires, thoughts, wants, needs, opinions, etc., for ...
02/16/2024

What is a people pleaser? It is a person who sacrifices their own desires, thoughts, wants, needs, opinions, etc., for other people's approval. Individuals who want to please often have poor personal boundaries and a sense of self. They tend to look to others to define them and for their self-worth.

People pleasers often lack assertiveness, possess a dormant fight response (in the fight-flight system), and are susceptible to being exploited, abused, and neglected. They manage their relationships by listening and eliciting from the other person rather than expressing themselves confidently. They operate on a specific set of guidelines:

They prefer listening to talking about the self.

They will often agree rather than argue.

Do not ask for help.

Will provide care to others.

Allow the other person to make the decisions rather than offering personal preferences.

Tips for overcoming people pleasing:

Learn to say no to the things you need to. It’s all right to say no if your questions don’t fit your priorities, timing, etc.

Suspend your imagination. Don’t think of the worst possible outcome of a situation; instead, don’t assume anything. This will help you take risks.

Learn to value your own opinion over those of others.

Accept who you are.

Don’t apologize for everything. If it is your fault, promptly admit it, but you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction, response, or feelings.

Don’t be afraid to stick up for your values. Don’t let other people belittle you.

Don’t be afraid to admit your feelings. Tell the other person how you feel.

Give up perfectionism. It’s okay to make mistakes, be silly, step outside the lines.

Allow yourself to complain sometimes and be irrational, inconsistent, and playful.

Set personal boundaries. Establish where you end, and the other person begins. Remind yourself to stay in your lane.

Authorize Yourself to change and grow.

Overcoming people-pleasing is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

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“The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don’t know what’s going on.” ...
02/15/2024

“The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind.

Please, be kind.

Especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”
(Waymond Wang)

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Uriah Cty, M.A., LMFT, ⁠
(213) 513-5553

Address

Los Angeles, CA

Telephone

+12135135553

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