Ellen Heed

Ellen Heed Ellen Heed PhD provides somatic education, deep-diving into a diversity of experiences. After teachi

Welcome to Your CrucibleRewrite Summer From the Other Side of Your ScarsYou’re about to dissolve everything you thought ...
08/15/2025

Welcome to Your Crucible

Rewrite Summer From the Other Side of Your Scars

You’re about to dissolve everything you thought you knew about yourself.
And that’s exactly how real transformation works.

Those alchemists? They knew something we forgot:
You have to dissolve before you can become.

Solve et coagula - dissolve and coagulate.
Break apart the old to let the true essence emerge.

Stage 1: The Dissolution (Solve)
Everything you thought was solid about yourself starts melting.
Your old stories, your fixed ideas about who you are, your carefully constructed identity
—it all goes into the crucible.

This feels like dying because it kind of is.
The death of who you thought you were.

Stage 2: The Chaos (Nigredo)
You’re in the black phase.
Nothing makes sense. “I am depressed” becomes
“I experience depression sometimes.”
Maybe you don’t know who you are anymore, and that’s terrifying.

This is where most people turn back.
They avoid the crucible to stay in their familiar (if a bit stinky) fortress.
Maybe slightly stinky feels safer than emerging into the fresh unknown.

Stage 3: The Emergence (Coagula)
Something completely new crystallizes.
Not a better version of your old self—actual gold.
The person who exists beyond their survival stories.
Who handles uncertainty because now they trust themselves completely.

Your fortress IS your crucible right now.
Let all that heat, all that pressure, all that discomfort—melt your walls down.

The fire won’t destroy you.
It reveals what was always real underneath all your protection.

Most people mistake dissolution for destruction.
But you can’t turn to gold inside your fortress walls.

What would you have to let dissolve to discover what’s actually indestructible about you?

😷 YOUR SCAR TISSUE ISN’T JUST ABOUT SURGERY - IT’S ABOUT INFLAMMATION 🔥  Think of your body as a spider web 🕸️ - cut one...
08/13/2025

😷 YOUR SCAR TISSUE ISN’T JUST ABOUT SURGERY - IT’S ABOUT INFLAMMATION 🔥

Think of your body as a spider web 🕸️
- cut one strand and the whole web twists in on itself.
Add inflammation and that web tangles tighter...

Surgery creates an incision that has to “approximate” ✂️💫
The cut edges come together and form a scar.

But here’s what NOBODY tells you:
Once approximation is complete, your scar has a CHOICE:
✅ Stop healing and be done
❌ OR keep growing (if your body is inflamed 🔥)

Your morning coffee ☕?
It’s literally feeding every scar in your body
🌾 That undiagnosed gluten sensitivity?
⚡ That “little bit” of arthritis? 🦴
💥 They’re creating an “inflammatory milieu” that triggers scar tissue to on KEEP GROWING.

Start thinking of scars as inflammation antennas 📡
🐥 They’re your canary in the coal mine

Your 10-year-old cesarean scar? 👶
📱 It still receives inflammatory texts from your gut every single day

When you eat gluten and you’re gut’s sensitive? 🥨
Every scar in your body lights up like a Christmas tree 🎄⚡

Touch your scars right now 👆
- if they feel tighter and stiffer than the rest of your body, that’s inflammation winning...

Identity Challenge: Test Your Resilience!You just caught yourself saying “I’m not the kind of person who...” for the thi...
08/09/2025

Identity Challenge: Test Your Resilience!

You just caught yourself saying “I’m not the kind of person who...” for the third time this week.
What if that’s exactly the problem, and your same old story is keeping you exactly where you are?

Test your identity resilience by answering just three questions:

1. Describe yourself to a stranger.
Now describe yourself in a completely different way (that’s also true).

Can you do it without contradicting yourself?
Or are you locked into just one version of who you are?

2. Think of the last time someone challenged you or pointed out a blind spot. What happened in your body?
Did you get curious? Were you eager to learn?

Or did your nervous system armor up into heavy-defense mode?
Did you just want to be right?

3. How comfortable are you with things you can’t explain?
• Synchronicities and surprises
• Gut feelings
• Experiences that feel bigger than your understanding
Do you feel intrigued or terrified?

Here’s what your answers reveal:
If you move through these three questions with curiosity,
your identity is flexible enough for real transformation.
You can be different versions of yourself while staying connected to what’s essential.

Did you get stuck, defensive, or uncomfortable?
Your sense of self might be too rigid for the kind of change you believe that you desire.

Want the truth? Most of us fossilized our identity to protect our wounds:
“I’m the anxious one.”
“I’m not good with people.”
“I’m just not creative.”

What if that fossilized shell is blinding you? What if it’s just layered-on stories you made up about something that once happened to you?

Real healing requires identity resilience. And willingness to discover that you might be different than you thought.
Braver.
Stronger.
More capable.
Even mysterious (!)

You can’t become who you’re meant to be while clinging to a petrified version of you.

Which question challenged you the most?
What does that tell you about where your identity has gotten stuck? Answer in the comments below if you feel called…

…When You Explore the Questions Your Body Wants to Avoid…You just felt that familiar tightness in your chest when you th...
08/03/2025

…When You Explore the Questions Your Body Wants to Avoid…

You just felt that familiar tightness in your chest when you thought about that situation again.
You know - that place you feel completely stuck.
Where your shoulders creep up toward your ears, and your breath kinda chokes every time you think about it.

Trust your body - it will tell you:
If you can breathe while exploring these questions, if your system stays curious instead of defensive, you’re ready to find the power that’s been waiting.

If your jaw clenches, if your breathing stops, if heat floods your face—that’s your nervous system protecting the fortress. The part of you that would rather feel powerless than feel the terror of actually being responsible in your life.

Your body knows where your agency lives.
It expands when you tap into real power.
And contracts when you touch the place of power relinquished.

The most embodied way to avoid change?
Get busy getting angry at anyone who suggests that you have a choice.

Your nervous system knows the difference between
“I genuinely can’t”
and “I’m too scared to try.”

What did your body tell you when you tried these questions?
Where did you feel expansion? Where did you feel a contraction?

…When You Explore the Questions Your Body Wants to Avoid…You just felt that familiar tightness in your chest when you th...
08/02/2025

…When You Explore the Questions Your Body Wants to Avoid…

You just felt that familiar tightness in your chest when you thought about that situation again.
You know - that place you feel completely stuck.
Where your shoulders creep up toward your ears, and your breath kinda chokes every time you think about it.

Trust your body - it will tell you:
If you can breathe while exploring these questions, if your system stays curious instead of defensive, you're ready to find the power that's been waiting.

If your jaw clenches, if your breathing stops, if heat floods your face—that's your nervous system protecting the fortress. The part of you that would rather feel powerless than feel the terror of actually being responsible in your life.

Your body knows where your agency lives.
It expands when you tap into real power.
And contracts when you touch the place of power relinquished.

The most embodied way to avoid change?
Get busy getting angry at anyone who suggests that you have a choice.

Your nervous system knows the difference between
"I genuinely can't"
and "I'm too scared to try."

What did your body tell you when you tried these questions?
Where did you feel expansion? Where did you feel a contraction?

Summer School Lesson 3Are You Ready to Trust Your Body? You just scrolled past another healing post promising transforma...
07/28/2025

Summer School Lesson 3

Are You Ready to Trust Your Body? You just scrolled past another healing post promising transformation.

But here’s what nobody talks about:
Most people aren’t ready to trust their body’s wisdom.
They want to think their way to healing.

Here’s what your answers this post’s questions reveal:

If you answered honestly and most of it felt uncomfortable,
you’re probably living entirely in your head.
Your body is just something that carries your brain around.

If you’ve never used your body as a resource,
deep healing is going to feel foreign and scary.
You’ll want to talk your way through everything instead of feeling your way through.

If you collapse when you can’t think your way through something,
you’re not ready for the kind of healing that happens below the neck.

But if you have some experience trusting your body,
if uncertainty feels like an adventure instead of a threat,
if you can learn by doing instead of just thinking—you’re ready for the real work.

Your body holds wisdom your mind will never understand.
It knows things your thoughts can’t figure out.
It heals in ways that bypass your need to control everything.

But you have to be willing to trust it.

Which question was hardest for you to answer?
What does that tell you about your relationship with your body?

Comment below (if you feel moved to do so).

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PhD, Somatic Coach & Educator

I’m a somatic coach and educator, dedicated to bringing autonomy to your embodiment - that means owning your entire experience inside your skin. I coach about how to get to whole health using right timing - and asking the right questions. I teach your whole body how to renegotiate life, one choice at a time.