03/20/2025
I hold myself on a short leash. Any time I feel the claws of the collar, I stop. Lately, the sharp points are felt like a paper cut. Tiny slices in the moment, unseen, no blood. But then I reflect. I wonder too deeply if I’m serving myself enough; generosity, space. Then I discover the problem, the fear. I put a plan in place to resolve it and still it sits; tucked onto a high shelf, unseen. But there, gripping at my neck. Like, “are you doing it? Is it working?” “yes, ghost critic, in time these efforts will show.” So I affirm the truth which is positivity. And I dance with the light of my ancestors knowing nothing gets better without faith and action. But waiting for the fruit of the seedlings I planted so long ago in response to the fear that was an illusion anyway just feels dumb now. Wouldn’t it be wiser to just forget. To change my mind and just decide to feel differently. I don’t need to solve a problem that doesn’t exist. Maybe today’s the day I undress. Unhinge my chains. Understand but don’t carry the history. Sweep my corners. Make room inside myself to forgive.
