Balance Lab by Aga Furtak

02/08/2026

Object Relations: The Inner Relationships That Shape Our Lives

Object relations theory, developed primarily by Melanie Klein (1930s–40s) and later expanded by Donald Winnicott (1950s) and others, proposes something profound:
we don’t just remember our early relationships — we carry them inside us.

In this framework, an “object” is not a thing.
It is a person — most often a primary caregiver — and the emotional experience we had with them.

Through early attachment, these relationships become introjects: internalized figures that live within our inner world. These introjects can feel almost like living entities — with voices, emotions, expectations, and judgments of their own.

Many people carry on ongoing internal conversations with these objects:
• a mother or maternal figure
• a father or authority figure
• an ex-partner
• a boss, teacher, or someone emotionally significant

Even when those people are no longer present — or no longer alive — the relationship continues internally.

These inner dialogues shape:
• how we speak to ourselves
• how we anticipate rejection or approval
• how we experience closeness, conflict, or abandonment
• how we interpret others’ behavior

Often, what feels like a reaction to the present moment is actually a response to an internalized relationship from the past.

This is where projection becomes important.
Without awareness, we may unconsciously project our internal objects onto others — responding not to who they are, but to who they represent inside us.

From an object relations lens, healing isn’t about blaming caregivers.
It’s about becoming conscious of our inner relationships — and gently transforming them.

Through safe, attuned relationships and reflective awareness, new introjects can form — ones that are more supportive, realistic, and compassionate.

01/20/2026

Most people don’t realize that life doesn’t repeat because of fate — it repeats because of loops.

This image shows two very different cycles we can fall into, often without noticing.

At the center of both is INTENTION.
Not the intention we say we have — but the intention we act from when things get uncomfortable.

🔁 The Victim Loop

This is the loop of unconscious living.

Something happens. A situation triggers discomfort.

Instead of facing it, we:

Ignore what hurts

Deny our role

Blame circumstances or people

Rationalize our behavior

Resist change

Hide from truth

And then… the same situation shows up again.
Different face. Same lesson.

The Victim Loop feels safe because it protects the ego.
But safety comes at a cost: stagnation.

Nothing grows here. Nothing heals here.
Only stories do.

🔁 The Accountability Loop

This is the loop of conscious growth.

The same situation arises — but this time, we choose differently.

We:

Recognize what’s really happening

Own our response, not the story

Forgive ourselves and others

Self-examine without self-attack

Learn the lesson

Take action, even when it’s uncomfortable

This loop doesn’t feel easy.
But it feels free.

Because every pass through it makes you wiser, lighter, and stronger.

⚖️ The Truth Few Talk About

Both loops begin with the same situation.
The difference is choice.

You don’t escape the Victim Loop by blaming less people.
You escape it by telling yourself the truth.

And you don’t enter the Accountability Loop by being perfect.
You enter it by being honest.

🌱 A Gentle Reminder

Accountability is not punishment.
It’s self-respect.

Forgiveness is not weakness.
It’s clarity.

Growth doesn’t happen when life gets easier —
It happens when you get braver.

Ask yourself today:
Which loop am I feeding — and which one is feeding me?

Because the moment you change your loop,
your entire life trajectory shifts.

01/01/2026

What is your spirit animal, mine is a multi dimensional dragon.🐉

12/31/2025

1. What is ego structure in psychology?

Ego structure refers to the organization, stability, and integrative capacity of the psyche.

It answers questions like:
• Can this person differentiate self from others?
• Can they regulate affect without collapsing or dissociating?
• Can they hold multiple self-states without fragmenting?
• Can they maintain a coherent identity across time and context?

This concept comes from:
• Psychoanalytic and psychodynamic psychology (Freud, ego psychology)
• Object relations theory (Kernberg, Winnicott)
• Structural and developmental trauma models

Importantly:

Ego structure is not about ego inflation — it’s about ego cohesion.

⸻

2. Ego states vs ego structure (very important distinction)

Ego states

Ego states are parts or self-states:
• The child part
• The protector
• The critic
• The adaptive persona
• The dissociated part

These exist in everyone.

Ego structure

Ego structure is the container that:
• Recognizes these states as “me”
• Integrates them into a coherent whole
• Allows flexible movement between them

So:

You don’t become disordered because you have parts
You become disorganized when there is no integrative structure holding the parts

Trauma doesn’t create ego states — it disrupts the structure that integrates them.

12/19/2025

Emotions and feelings are not the same — and neuroscience makes that very clear.

Emotions are fast, automatic biological responses generated primarily by the limbic system, especially the amygdala and brainstem. They evolved to keep us alive.
Anger protects boundaries. Fear detects danger. Joy reinforces connection. Disgust protects us from harm. Surprise resets attention.

These core emotions are universal across cultures and are designed to be brief. In a healthy nervous system, an emotion rises, delivers information, mobilizes action, and then naturally subsides within minutes.

Feelings are something different.

Feelings emerge when emotions are interpreted by the cortex — especially the prefrontal cortex — and combined with memory, beliefs, and personal meaning. When the mind repeatedly revisits an emotional event, it creates narrative loops in the brain.

That’s why feelings like resentment, melancholy, guilt, or chronic frustration can last for months or even years. They are not primary emotions — they are learned, reinforced emotional states.

From a neuroscience perspective, this happens through repeated activation of the same neural pathways. The brain becomes efficient at replaying the story, even when the original threat is no longer present.

In effective therapy, emotions are fully experienced and integrated. The narrative loses its emotional charge, neural loops weaken, and the nervous system returns to a regulated baseline.

Mental health is not about suppressing emotions, and it’s not about living inside feelings.
It’s about flexibility — the ability to feel emotions without becoming trapped in emotional stories.

Clarity is not numbness.
Clarity is freedom.

12/07/2025

Era of the Dragon
I step into the era of the Dragon.
What I could not see before
is already rising at the horizon,
already unfolding,
long before my memory learned to witness it.

I am in the void—
and I am the void itself,
swaying gently between a wave of knowing
and a new, boundless path of perception,
as if just before being born into a body,
when there is no form, no name, no decision,
only the pure breath of possibility.

I float in the amniotic waters of all-things,
where the unborn Self chooses its direction
from a place beyond time,
beyond memory,
beyond the human fate.

The emptiness is exquisite—
for it asks for nothing,
demands no shape,
and does not rush the becoming.
Every possibility is equal,
each one leading back
to the eternal consciousness
that never ages
and never dies.

In the womb of the cosmos, a Dragon is forming.
It holds a fire that did not consume it—
a fire that became its tail and its compass.
All that was unnecessary burned away,
turning into the spark
of a new dimension.

The Dragon is sharp
as the force that created it,
truthful in its movement,
coherent in its power.
It sees many worlds at once,
keeping vigil through millennia,
guarding the immutable.
It allows entry only
to those who transcend
name, body, history.

I now live in unity with the Dragon
who swallowed me in childhood
and digested me for forty long years.
I was its flame and nourishment,
the matter from which its prototype grew.
It first wished to be a lion,
yet it remembered its wings,
and returned to its true form.

This Dragon,
my companion and teacher,
is my oldest friend.
I weep when I see him,
feeling the depth of our bond—
no human jungle of cruelty
could break us,
no desert heat
could scorch what we are.

I stroke his scales gently
and fall asleep by his side.
Found.
Reborn.
Entire.

Tais—
that is his name,
and I am his light.

11/17/2025

✨ A little drumroll… for the client and the therapist.
Because true healing is always a co-created experience. ✨

I recently received a powerful review from a client who originally came to me because she had been struggling for years with insomnia, gut issues, waking up in the middle of the night, and symptoms she couldn’t resolve on her own.
Most people who find their way to my work don’t come for simple reasons—they come because their symptoms are complex, long-term, and deeply intertwined with the nervous system, the subconscious, and the body.

What moved me most in her process was not just the relief she began to feel, but her courage. She allowed herself to be guided into the deeper layers—into the root of her health anxiety—and she also took responsibility for the parts that only she could do. That’s the real healing partnership.

So many people still hope a practitioner will “fix” everything in one session. But healing is not an abracadabra moment. It is bidirectional. It requires two people meeting in a space of safety, honesty, and shared intention.

And safety is the cornerstone.
When someone feels deeply safe, their entire system shifts. A different version of them comes online—
the grounded, centered one,
the self-attuned one,
the one who can access clarity and agency,
the one who can finally make choices that support their wellbeing. This client felt safe enough to go deep in hypnotherapy and meet the origins of her anxiety. She also took the practical steps we mapped out together—supporting her gut, changing her nutrition, making medicinal yogurt, and nurturing her nervous system. These aren’t complicated practices, but when done consistently, they create profound change. Healing happens when both people show up.
And she showed up with courage.
I showed up with skill, intuition, and attunement.
And together, we created a space where transformation could take root.

11/17/2025

✨ A drumroll… for the client and the therapist.
Because true healing is always a co-created experience. ✨

I recently received a powerful review from a client who originally came to me because she had been struggling for years with insomnia, gut issues, waking up in the middle of the night, and symptoms she couldn’t resolve on her own.
Most people who find their way to my work don’t come for simple reasons—they come because their symptoms are complex, long-term, and deeply intertwined with the nervous system, the subconscious, and the body.

What moved me most in her process was not just the relief she began to feel, but her courage. She allowed herself to be guided into the deeper layers—into the root of her health anxiety—and she also took responsibility for the parts that only she could do. That’s the real healing partnership.

So many people still hope a practitioner will “fix” everything in one session. But healing is not an abracadabra moment. It is bidirectional. It requires two people meeting in a space of safety, honesty, and shared intention.

And safety is the cornerstone.
When someone feels deeply safe, their entire system shifts. A different version of them comes online—
the grounded, centered one,
the self-attuned one,
the one who can access clarity and agency,
the one who can finally make choices that support their wellbeing. If you’re someone who has been struggling with long-term symptoms and you’re ready to heal from the inside out—to rebuild safety in your nervous system, strengthen your body, and work with the subconscious—I’m here to assist.

09/13/2025

Lets talk about Neurophysiology of trauma and what biofeedback (and especially neurofeedback) studies reveal.
🌊 Delta Waves and Trauma
Delta waves are the slowest brain waves (0.5–4 Hz).
They dominate during deep sleep and unconscious states, when the body restores and repairs itself.
In a healthy, waking brain, you should see low levels of delta — just enough to provide calm, background stability, but not so much that you lose alertness.
👉 In trauma survivors, neurofeedback research often shows excessive delta activity even while awake.
This is sometimes called “cortical slowing.”
It’s linked to foggy thinking, fatigue, and reduced executive function.
Essentially, the brain is holding itself in a protective, low-energy state — like a permanent “freeze response.”
🧠 How the Traumatized Brain Appears in Scans
Different imaging modalities reveal complementary aspects:
1. EEG (electroencephalography) / QEEG (quantitative EEG)
Shows abnormal rhythms:
Excess delta/theta (slow waves) in frontal regions → associated with passivity, rumination, and “shut down” states.
Low beta/gamma (fast waves) → less capacity for attention, focus, and agency.
This pattern - delta dominance (until healed) takes away” your ability to act.
2. fMRI / PET scans
Hyperactive amygdala (fear center) → constantly scanning for threat.
Hypoactive prefrontal cortex (decision-making / regulation) → weak brakes, reduced planning and impulse control.
Hippocampal shrinkage (memory consolidation center) → difficulty distinguishing past threat from present safety.
Together, this creates the “flashback loop”: emotions and body states of trauma replay without the ability to regulate or contextualize them.
3. Biofeedback/Neurofeedback patterns
Clients often show high skin conductance (sweat response), irregular heart rate variability (HRV), and unstable breathing → body locked in survival mode.
Neurofeedback sessions train the brain to reduce delta/theta, strengthen alpha/beta balance, and restore flexibility across networks. ⬇️

09/02/2025

08/16/2025

✨ Why Mind Alone Isn’t Enough ✨

Spiritual teachers like Mooji remind us that many of our struggles come from the stories in our head. And yes — reframing our thoughts and practicing awareness can bring peace. 🌿

But here’s the missing piece: the mind cannot control human biology on its own.

We are biological and physiological beings. Our microbiome produces about 95% of our neurotransmitters — serotonin, dopamine, GABA, melatonin — the very messengers that shape our mood, sleep, libido, and resilience. 🧬

When toxins, parasites, heavy metals, or microplastics disrupt this delicate system, symptoms can look like “psychiatric” issues: panic attacks, depression, depersonalization, brain fog. 🌀 Often it’s not “wrong thinking” but an inflamed, imbalanced body sending distress signals.

Sugar, starches, and processed carbs can fuel these imbalances — triggering anxiety, fatigue, and disconnection. 🍬➡️😟

🧠💡 True healing is not only mastering thoughts. It’s:

Restoring the gut & nervous system

Supporting detox pathways

Rebuilding the microbiome

Practicing both mental hygiene and biological healing

When body and mind work together, spiritual insight can land more deeply — because the biology is no longer fighting us. ✨

🔑 Message: The stories in our head are powerful — but the chemistry in our body often writes those stories first. Healing is holistic.

07/30/2025

Every time that you don’t respond to a provocation, every single time you withhold explanation, every time you don’t let somebody into your emotional living room, you’re building muscle. And this is authority muscle. Self-esteem muscle, self respect muscle. Silence is your sword, self control is your shield.
People say: “don’t take it personally”, as if it were easy, but you can do that and when you master it, you truly Become unreachable. It’s not because you are hiding, it’s because you Choose to be. The world has no choice but to respect that. They may not like that But they are definitely going to feel it. And they will adjust. People always adjust.