Evie Shafner, LMFT

10/01/2025

When is the “right” time to talk about marriage in a relationship?

There’s no magic timeline, but there are some wise ways to approach this conversation without fear or pressure.

Here’s what you should know if you’re wondering when to bring it up ⤵️

❤️ First, talk to yourself.
Are they kind? Empathetic? Do your values align?

❤️ Then, ease into deeper conversations.
Start with general ideas about the future before jumping to “when are we getting married?”

❤️ Create a space where both of you can share openly, without judgment or panic. Vulnerability needs safety.

Time is your ally. Slow and steady conversations build the strongest foundations.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/29/2025

Why is it so hard to receive love, even when you want it more than anything?

Here’s what you should know if love feels hard to let in ⤵️

1️⃣ When we’ve been hurt in childhood, we often seek love from the same kind of people who hurt us. Hoping this time it will heal the past.

2️⃣ If you struggle to accept love, it may come from early beliefs that you weren’t “enough” to deserve it.

3️⃣ True healing starts with self-acceptance, daily practice, and learning to give yourself the love you’ve always needed.

Healing is possible. One loving step at a time.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/26/2025

Repost

When we expect love to feel effortless, we miss the beauty of earned intimacy. True connection is built in the messy moments, when we stay, listen, repair, and choose each other even when it's hard.

That’s where real love lives!

Our obsession with “The One” stems from a romantic delusion that we are incomplete until someone else finds and completes us. In truth, we are all flawed - and so are our partners.

Relationships succeed not because two perfect people find each other, but because two imperfect people commit to the ongoing act of choosing each other.

09/24/2025

When everything feels perfect, we don’t think we need couples counseling.

But here’s the truth: the Romantic Phase (those dreamy first 6 months to 2 years) isn’t where real relationship skills are built, it’s where we start building habits, good or bad.

Keep in mind ⤵️

1️⃣ Early support prevents future pain.

2️⃣ Tools like non-reactive communication build safety.

3️⃣ Passion thrives when we honor each other’s independence.

We hire coaches for running marathons or organizing closet, why not for love, the most important thing in our lives? Let’s stop waiting until we’re in crisis.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/23/2025

✨ NEW PODCAST EPISODE ✨

I’m so excited to share that I’m featured on The Trouble with S*x Podcast! 🎙️

Is anxiety hurting your connection and libido? 🤔 In this episode, Dr. Tammy Nelson talks with me and fellow therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, about how reactivity can impact relationships—and what you can do to create more intimacy and ease with your partner.

Tune in here: thetroublewithsex.com/podcast

09/22/2025

Is anxiety sneaking into your relationship and creating distance? 💔

You’re not alone, and there is a way back to connection ⤵️

💖 Learn how to calm anxiety and reactivity.

💖 Discover how to create emotional safety.

💖 Build a strong foundation for your partnership and family.

I was honored to join Dr. Tammy alongside the incredible Mary Cocharo () on The Trouble with S*x podcast () to talk about the emotional space that holds your relationship together.

Don’t miss Episode 93!

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/19/2025

Repost
The truth is, there’s no perfect formula for a long marriage, just two people who keep showing up, even when it’s messy. Love often grows strongest in the small, imperfect moments we share every day.
’s secret to a long-lasting marriage? Bathtub prayers and going to bed mad!

09/17/2025

You wouldn’t wait for a cavity to become a root canal, so why wait for your relationship to break before getting support?

In the honeymoon phase, everything feels easy. You’re both on your best behavior, dreaming about the future. But when things get tough, many couples wait until the pain is unbearable before asking for help. Why?

Keep in mind ⤵️

❤️ You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from couples counseling.

❤️ A little prevention now can save you from deep pain later.

❤️ Tools like non-reactive communication can protect your connection for years to come.

If you’re willing to hire a coach for your business, your health, even your closet, why not your love life?

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/15/2025

Why do we ignore the ones who treat us well?

Sometimes, we chase love that feels hard, dramatic, or painful, not because it’s better, but because it’s familiar. If you didn’t get warmth growing up, your brain may still be searching for it from the wrong people.

Here’s what to remember ⤵️

1️⃣ Real love feels safe and warm,not confusing.

2️⃣ You deserve love that doesn’t hurt.

3️⃣ You have to give yourself the love you didn’t get first.

When you love yourself fully, you stop settling for love that hurts.
If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/10/2025

A strong relationship starts with a strong you.

It might sound surprising, but the best relationships aren’t about merging into one person. They’re about being yourself while still staying close to someone you love.

Here are 3 ways that help you build deep connection and keep your sense of self ⤵️

💖 Real love means you value your partner’s needs and your own, both matter equally.

💖 You can stay connected even when they aren’t meeting every need because you can soothe yourself, too.

💖 The strongest couples are made of two whole people, not two halves trying to complete each other.

When both people feel free to be themselves, the relationship gets even stronger. That’s the real magic.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/08/2025

Breakups really do hurt, and not just in your heart.

Did you know your brain treats heartbreak like drug withdrawal? That’s why it can feel so painful, even when the breakup was the right choice.

Here are 3 things to remember if you’re hurting right now ⤵️

1️⃣ Breakups can bring up old feelings of not being “good enough”, but that’s not the truth. You are lovable.

2️⃣ The pain is real and physical, even science backs this up. It’s okay to feel it.

3️⃣ Healing is possible. But most people need help to get there and that’s more than okay.

You don’t have to go through it alone, support makes all the difference.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

09/03/2025

Too much closeness can feel suffocating. Too much distance can feel scary.

The healthiest relationships have both connection and space. That balance lets love breathe, and grow because ⤵️

1️⃣ Space helps us stay curious and excited about each other.

2️⃣ You don’t have to meet all your partner’s needs, and they shouldn’t have to meet all of yours.

3️⃣ Learning to handle closeness and separation is part of growing a strong, lasting bond.

It’s not about choosing space or connection, it’s about learning how to hold both with love.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.