LoveAlways.DrBetsy, Los Angeles, CA (2025)

06/02/2025

Not every predicament has an imminent deadline.

Uncertainty can be stressful, so in the face of difficulty, we may feel the pressure to find solutions or make quick decisions.

We often forget that in most circumstances, a third option exists; we can give ourselves the time we need to process our options or wait until a solution becomes slightly clearer.

Can you learn to cope with feelings of uncertainty so that you can give yourself more time to think?

05/13/2025

Do you know what your sexual boundaries are?

What about of your partner or those you date?

Especially when dating, knowing and communicating your sexual boundaries protects you by keeping things clear, without any room for misinterpretation.

In this article by , you can learn all about ways to identify your sexual boundaries and tips on how to communicate them.

See full article here or link in profile:

https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/what-are-sexual-boundaries.html

Do you know your sexual boundaries?

04/21/2025

People-pleasers often grew up around emotionally volatile caregivers, and learned that the best way to predictably preserve relationships is to 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 keep others happy.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣Though effective at maintaining interpersonal peace, the level of vigilance it takes to manage other’s moods can be painfully exhausting and keeps us from speaking up in our own best interests.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣To regain control over their own lives, people-pleasers need to learn their personal limits and develop language to communicate them.⁣

But the act of limit setting can be very destabilizing for a people-pleaser early in their recovery because placing boundaries where there previously were none 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 affect existing relationships, temporarily, or even permanently. That can be a scary for somebody who’s used to controlling their relationships through self-abandonment.
⁣⁣
⁣But remember, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙖𝙡 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣We 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 people to be more cognizant of their behaviors around us.⁣
⁣We 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 people to feel bad when they’ve hurt us so they’ll know not to do it anymore.⁣
⁣We 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 people to consider other resources instead of over-depending on us.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣Things may need to get uncomfortable before they get better, and we should be careful not to assume that maintaining peace at all costs is the healthiest way to be in a relationship.

The truth is, once you start speaking up for yourself, you may lose some relationships. But over time, you’re left with a social network of only safe people that respects you.

04/14/2025

Progress isn’t measured by how effortless your relationship feels.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣No matter how much work you both do to improve your relationship…

…you will should still disagree, and most likely argue about things. Some big, some small.

…you will still sometimes revert to old habits that you both swore not to do anymore.

…the thought that the relationship might not work will continue to cross your mind on occasion.

…you’ll still at times feel insecure.

…there will still be periods of transition where you’ll both need to readjust to.

⁣Progress is when these very common, sometimes unavoidable obstacles to stop keeping your relationship from growing.

The goal is to…

…be mindful of how you communicate with each other.

…get comfortable bringing up uncomfortable topics.

…work on letting go of that pride.

…recover faster after an argument.

When you’ve engaged each other in so many disagreements that both you and your partner have your own unique toolbox to overcome obstacles.
⁣⁣
⁣That is how you measure progress.

Interested in leveling up your relationship in a meaningful way? I’ll show you how in my book Couple Skills Workbook . Click the link in my bio to purchase your copy.

⁣⁣
⁣⁣

04/14/2025

Progress isn’t measured by how effortless your relationship feels.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣No matter how much work you both do to improve your relationship…

…you will should still disagree, and most likely argue about things. Some big, some small.

…you will still sometimes revert to old habits that you both swore not to do anymore.

…the thought that the relationship might not work will continue to cross your mind on occasion.

…you’ll still at times feel insecure.

…there will still be periods of transition where you’ll both need to readjust to.

⁣Progress is when these very common, sometimes unavoidable obstacles to stop keeping your relationship from growing.

The goal is to…

…be mindful of how you communicate with each other.

…get comfortable bringing up uncomfortable topics.

…work on letting go of that pride.

…recover faster after an argument.

When you’ve engaged each other in so many disagreements that both you and your partner have your own unique toolbox to overcome obstacles.
⁣⁣
⁣That is how you measure progress.

Interested in leveling up your relationship in a meaningful way? I’ll show you how in my book Couple Skills Workbook . Click the link in my bio to purchase your copy.

04/12/2025

If you’re tired, then rest.

…Not go out to party
…Not say yes to that friend cuz you’ve said no too many times
…Not work just 5 more minutes
…Not do chores
…Not go work out
…Not cook dinner tonight for your family

what else do you sacrifice rest for?

04/09/2025

Just because you and your partner are way past the honeymoon, getting-to-know-each-other phase, it doesn’t mean that you should stop asking questions to know them deeper.

If anything, staying curious about each other is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship — the more intimately you know each other, the higher quality of support you can provide when the other person is struggling.

And also having really great conversations with your life partner is not a bad side effect either.

Ready to further deepen your relationship? chatted with a bunch of relationship experts to compile a list of top 10 questions to ask your long time partner.

Full article here:

https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/best-questions-to-ask-your-partner-in-a-relationship.html

04/08/2025

People with good boundaries are easy to have relationships with.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣There’s no guesswork necessary because their “𝘕𝘖’𝘴” mean “𝗡𝗢”, and “𝘠𝘌𝘚’𝘴” mean “𝗬𝗘𝗦”. Because of their transparency, I know exactly how to get along with them.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣Even if I were to unknowingly make them uncomfortable, I trust that they’d talk to me rather than question my intentions. To me, that means that they value our relationship and make efforts to overcome misunderstandings.
⁣⁣
⁣They know their priorities and rarely do things out of external pressure, so the fact that they spend time with me is enough to know that they genuinely like me.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣But my favorite thing about dealing with healthy-boundary folks is that they make me feel safe to have boundaries too. They just seem to get it.⁣
⁣⁣
Who in your life has healthy boundaries? What’s it like to engage with them?

03/18/2025

Had an interesting conversation with about One Night Stands (ONS). It’s not a topic that commonly shows up in conversations around relationships, but it doesn’t mean it’s not related or important to talk about.

While not everybody engages in ONS, there is a range of reasons why some people do.

Some do it with intention to live in the moment, and others might wake up with a regretful “what did I do?”

Whatever your reason, ONS tend to be spontaneous, giving you limited time to make a decision about something that can have impact on you later.

Especially if you’re single and/or dating, it’s a good idea to reflect on your values about ONS so that you have some clarity about what you want if the opportunity presents itself.

Check out this article if you wanna hear what a psychologist who specializes in healthy relationships and self-esteem has to say about the topic of ONS.

Find the full article here:

https://www.hercampus.com/wellness/first-one-night-stand-what-to-know-experts/

02/20/2025

When you know they’re not goin anywhere cuz the relationship you’ve built together — through the blood, sweat and tears — is simply irreplaceable.

02/14/2025

Problems need to be solved, but most of the time it doesn’t need to be solved right away. Things you can do to keep an argument from getting out of hand

Problems need to be solved, but rarely do they need to be resolved right away.

Though conflict can be uncomfortable, the most successful problem solving happens in a calm environment, and that usually means waiting until both are ready to speak and listen mindfully.

Because we all have a fight/flight system that gets triggered when challenged, disagreements can easily spiral into explosive fights. And the more that happens, the more discouraged we become to raising concerns and working through problems together.

But problems don’t cause fights. The mismanagement of emotions related to our problems cause fights, and to prevent arguments from getting out of hand, we can learn to manage interactions prior to escalation.
⁣⁣
Here are some things you can try:
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⁣☑️ Learn to identify signs that tension is building and choose to pause and step away
⁣Examples: Cursing, extreme language: “you never!” “you always!”⁣, name-calling

⁣☑️ Make a point for only one person to speak at a time to avoid raising voices, which activates the receiver’s fight/flight

⁣☑️ Acknowledge that the discussion is heating up and set a plan to revisit the conversation once both parties have calmed down
⁣⁣
⁣☑️ Know what pushes your partner’s buttons and make it a point not to go there

For more insight on how to resolve conflict more effectively and develop closeness with your partner, check out The Couple Skills Workbook. Link in my bio.
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02/10/2025

There’s this ongoing, general belief that disagreements are bad for relationships, but in reality, conflict can also be a pathway to finding solutions that can help two people deepen their understanding of each other.

After the initial sting of an argument, when two caring individuals can openly share their own feelings that led to disagreement, each learns something new about the other, ultimately adding more substance to their existing relationship.

But what commonly happens when couples make-up after an argument is that they consciously avoid revisiting the original issue that caused the fight, in fear of disturbing the peace again.

Ironically, it is precisely during reconciliation when couples are getting along best that are the most ideal times to address sensitive topics.

This is because when in good spirits, people are significantly more open to listening and capable of thoughtful communication.

You see, the source of a majority of relationship problems have more to do with communication rather than the conflict itself. The good news is, communication issues are solvable because it’s a learned skill.

In my book The Couple Skills Workbook, you will find helpful exercises to do with your partner to help the two of you approach disagreements with purpose.

For more information, see link in bio.

LoveAlways.DrBetsy

06/02/2025

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