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Malan's Yoga Garden, Los Angeles, CA (2025)

10/02/2025

I’ve found the older I get, the harder it is to push myself out of my comfort zone, especially physically. I get worried about injuring my 43 year old body 😂.

Rowan really wanted to come to this pump track and since my bike didn’t fit in the car, he let me borrow his scooter.

At first I was like, oh no, this isn’t happening. But thankfully there were these 2-3 year olds on their scooters riding up and down the hills like it was no big deal.

My ego said- they are closer to the ground and they have 3 wheels for more stability!

But my fire energy said, just try it.

I walked most of the first two laps, observed how the skateboarders did it for the next few min, then slowly figured it out, until I actually went around the whole track pretty quickly, even through the scariest bowl (or whatever it’s called).

I call it a successful day. And no, I didn’t injure myself at all, but my quads are sore 😂.

Keep challenging yourself to move out of your comfort zone!!! You’ll find you can still do some pretty cool stuff. ❤️

08/29/2025

I saw a post the other day about what makes women look “wealthy” rather than “cheap.”

I’ll admit I got sucked in to find the answer, which was basically- move slowly. And let me tell you… this post had thousands of views.

Ugh, I felt so sad reading this seemingly innocent post.

Here’s the thing, for decades, even centuries, women have constantly been sold and shamed into some ridiculous metric about our worth, which usually has something to do with our appearance.

And we consistently buy into it because… well because our mothers bought into it and their mothers bought into it and so on.

We spend our money, time, energy, on beauty. Obsess over our weight, our bellies. Shame ourselves over our jiggles. Try to crack some secret of how to appear “valuable” or “rich” so that we can attract someone valuable and rich.

Let me share a secret with you - ALL women are valuable. ALL women are worthy. You can be any size, shape, jiggle, look, and you are STILL valuable.

YOU (yes I’m talking to you) are SO much more than what you look like. You have feelings and profound insights and intuitive senses, you have deep intelligence and wisdom, a fire and passion, you have a glow, a love, a softness that feels so safe. You have an unmatched courage to confront life despite being told otherwise. When you step up to be a leader, you are really f*ing good at it. When you follow, you are really f*ing good at that too. In fact you are just really f*ing good at a lot of things.

The only thing that can ever change your value is what you believe about yourself.

So Maybe, just maybe, if one by one, we start pouring our energy into truly loving ourselves, just as we are, instead if trying to meet some made up crazy societal standard, then maybe we can move into a world where our daughters can be just be themselves and look like themselves without any shame, without any worries about whether they look cheap or wealthy. Wouldn’t that be a truly beautiful day.

❤️

08/28/2025

Two days ago, I felt a yucky yucky feeling… resentment.

I had done something nice for someone and they never responded in kind, which I didn’t mind so much. But then I found out they did for someone else. Ouch.

All the ugly ego feelings came up - wow! Am I that much less than? Did I come off too strong? Was I too eager and excited?

Blech, not a pretty place to be.

As I sat with it, a comforting thought came up, a thought that I taught myself a couple years ago….

A person doesn’t owe me ANYTHING. I do kind things because I WANT to, because it feels good to me. And no one owes me anything back for that!!

Why is this thought so liberating? Well, When you do a kind act as a transaction, with the expectation you will get something back, you are missing the whole point of giving.

Give because you love to give, not because you’ll get something back. And if you are giving in order to get something back, well, it’s better not to give at all.

And when you surrender the idea that someone owes you for your giving, then you become free of the resentment and the other person becomes free of debt. Everyone gets freed. ❤️

08/23/2025

When I first started giving Reiki, I was so unsure of myself. I thought nothing was happening, that I was faking and pretending I could be a healer.

But I was super disciplined about learning and spent everyday giving myself reiki, figuring out what I felt in my chakras.

It was so worth it.

I ended up having my own secret super power that I could turn to for help at any time.

I remember after my first miscarriage, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t grieve. I was paralyzed and depressed and couldn’t get out of bed.

I remember telling Nick that I didn’t want to keep going. He tried to soothe me but didnt know how. No one knew how. I don’t blame them, it’s such an awkward thing to soothe someone over.

So I put my hand over my heart and finally, finally, I could cry. Giving myself reiki allowed me to grieve and bawl and let out my sorrow. I’m sure it didn’t look or sound pretty, but I needed those cries so so badly.

This is what learning reiki has given me time and time again…. The gift of healing my heartbreaks and sorrows, the gift of loving myself and soothing myself the way no one else really can. The confidence that I can handle any pain that comes my way.

(Although I have to say the last time I had a super bad flu, I couldn’t even give myself Reiki, that was a tough one)

If you would like to immerse yourself in a beautiful, sacred healing space where you get to learn reiki level 1 and 2 with a small group of beautiful souls and practice in a super safe space with me guiding you and answering your questions over the course of 3 days, well you’re in luck!!

I’ll be hosting the Sacred Healer’s Soul Retreat this Nov 6-9, 2025 in Topanga Canyon Ca! Link in bio if you have felt called to be a healer and want to deepen your practice in the most magical way! Only 5 spots left, so don’t wait!

08/20/2025

I have a secret… well it’s not really a secret.

Rowan loves Pokemon cards… when his friend came over with cards to trade, I whipped out my own pokemon card binder to trade too.

One of the moms said- Wait, you have your own collection???!

My response was - would you expect anything less of me? 😂

I can’t help it, I just think the pokemon and art are so cute! It brings me simple childlike joy. And to me, that is magic.

One of the number 1 complaints I hear from people is that they struggle to feel joy and present in life.

And one of the biggest blockers I see, across the board, is not feeling allowed.

The ego thoughts might sound like- I’ll look silly if I am too joyful, I have too much to do to play, I am an adult now I can’t do those things anymore, or I can’t let my guard down…

Here’s the thing- we don’t come into these frail human bodies to “survive,” to be serious all the damn time, to grind and grind and grind.

Animals are here to survive. Not us.

We are here to LIVE. To experience. To LOVE. That means - you are SO ALLOWED to loosen up and have some fun. Be silly, play, let yourself experience some childlike joy. There’s no shame in that. ❤️

08/19/2025

There’s this interesting habit I’ve noticed myself doing lately when I don’t feel my best… when I’ve had a long day or feel insecure.

I turn to my phone and scrolling. As I’m scrolling, I feel myself searching or trying to find a connection I’m missing in my physical life. Trying to find a validation or a message or just something that will fill the hole.

This may sound a little sad, but I’m guessing that mayyyyybe most other humans are doing a very similar thing - turning to the phone to fill up an empty connection.

Except I don’t leave the scrolling feeling better, I end up feeling even more unsettled.

So I set an intention- when I feel insecure or disturbed about something, instead of turning to my phone to fake “connect,” I take the time to actually spiritually connect. This can look different for everyone. For me it looks like, taking a nice shower, sitting for a meditation, stretching, restorative yoga, journaling, talking with friend, hanging with family, giving myself reiki, pulling some cards. And I feel so much more clarity and peace afterwards.

Here’s the thing - as souls, we crave connection. We crave spiritual connection, even the person who looks the coldest. We are here for love and to experience love in all forms, grief, joy, being in love with life, loving ourselves….

Ultimately, love and connection are what fill the seemingly insatiable hunger of the ego.

When you feel unsettled, ungrounded, fuzzy, disconnected… I challenge you to give yourself sometime to connect in a soul way, rather than a phone way, however that looks to you. ❤️

08/17/2025

When Tracy Bonham dedicated one of her songs during her LA concert to the ladies who attended the Soul Retreat in Portugal and said thank you to me, I bawled for the next 5 minutes.

Praise and acknowledgment isn’t something I grew up with and it actually makes me feel uncomfortable.

In the work I do, I constantly have to reset my intention to helping people fall in love with themselves and allow themselves their unique shine. Whenever I stray from this and fall into ego traps, the divine nudges me back to alignment fast and sometimes quite sharply.

When I got that acknowledgment from our beautiful Tracy, it was so beautiful and validating in such a healthy way. I let myself feel content that I’ve done some impactful things in my life as opposed to letting my ego get all weird about it. It was so so nice.

It’s easy to beat ourselves up and never feel like enough and constantly be striving to be better. But It’s safe to let all that go and celebrate that - damn I put some hard work into this life and I’m allowed to love and appreciate myself and forgive myself when I mess up.

If you haven’t checked out Tracy’s new album sky too wide, go find her! Her lyrics, her voice, her musical genius is everything your soul needs.

And of course my soul retreat ladies always blow me away with their love and glow.

08/14/2025

I bribed rowan to meditate: $1/minute, thinking he would never get past 10 minutes bc most adults can’t make it past 10 min.

He went all the way to 22 min!! and then I stopped him bc he was falling asleep and I was worried about my wallet 😂. (For the record, he asked me questions 3-5 times and how many minutes had passed every 3-6 min)

Afterwards, he said he felt a tickle at his third eye, and felt a golden bubble around him and his head expanding and that he felt more confident. 🤯

I don’t feel bad at all about bribing him.

Also here’s our trip to alaska! We saw so much incredible wildlife- salmon jumping upstream, whales, orcas, otters, bald eagles.

But i got sick on the boat in the beginning and end. That was rough. I meditated on the boat once and immediately puked for the next 3 hours 😂

Keep practicing my friends!! ❤️

07/09/2025

I dropped off Rowan at camp today and purposefully left my phone at home. We scootered to camp, which was fast and tiring, but I had to take a 20 minute walk home with the scooters afterwards.

At first I found myself rushing and irritated because “I have so much work to do!” And “this is such a waste of time!” “Why did I leave my phone at home?!”

Then, thankfully, the reflections came rolling in.

Our society is so fast these days, go! Go! Go! Do more! Do it faster!

We’ve lost the art of slowing down, of observing nature (the divine), patience, reflection, and learning from within instead of from the external.

We’ve lost the art of enjoying the journey and replaced it with endless insatiable goals.

Sages of ancient times in all cultures, learned by sitting and observing and reflecting. And from them came such deep powerful wisdom and even scientific knowledge, that we continue to pass on their teachings thousands of years later.

And so… I slowed down. I took my time. I enjoyed the journey. It felt like FOREVER. A long hot lazy summer morning.

This is how you slow life down. By letting go of the rushing and forever looking towards the goal. Letting go eternally intaking more knowledge from all the sources, and letting yourself find the knowledge within.

We are here to enjoy the experience and adventure of life. Every up and down, every sigh and heartache, every moment of pure untainted joy, every glimpse of simple innocence.

What can you do to slow down this week?

☀️

06/25/2025

This is Azenhas do Mar, this gorgeous beach with cliffs and a saltwater pool, waterfall, streams, baby duckies, and drinks (my husband’s favorite)

I forgot to mention it was one of the girl’s birthdays on the retreat, which was so special and fun for us to celebrate with her!

She came in uncertain about what she wanted for the second half of her life and left knowing exactly what she wanted for her next phase and knowing she loved herself enough to do it.

Sigh, these magical epiphanies are everything to me. And I felt so honored someone came to the retreat as a birthday gift to themselves!

We made sure she had some awesome homemade lemon cake from our incredible private chef. Damn we were spoiled in all the healthiest ways.

06/23/2025

We started Day 3 of the Unstoppable Worth Soul Retreat with an immersive experience in the forest. It’s called Shinrin Yoku or forest bathing. But you don’t actually take a bath in the forest 😂.

No one was really sure what to expect, but it ended up being so lovely. First we meditated, then did a mindfulness walk, the did an activity to let go of something we didn’t need in our lives anymore, then found a special sit spot to tap into more peace, and ended with some tea.

Everyone felt more grounded after and more alive. Which was nice because I felt a lot of heavy energy.

The theme for the day was releasing shame, which can be really tough for to move through. The funny thing is, no one really knew that was the theme, but shame was definitely coming out.

It’s normal after a few days of intimate emotional connection for the ego to start blabbering and feeling not enough.

We ended the day with discussing shame and it was soooo good for us all to chat through the emotion and really understand it.

Some people were having stomach pain from the breathwork, which can happen when junk starts releasing out of your body. You can feel nauseous and sick.

Luckily, we were all supporting each other and there was ample opportunity to move through the process during the week.

Some examples of shame that came up were:
-shame of not being good enough
-parenting shame
-shame of not loving themselves
-shame of being too loud
-shame about taking up space
-shame about receiving
-shame about disappointing others
-shame about family history

We tend to run away from the cringe of shame, but it’s funny how when you look at these ugly emotions in the face, they finally have space to dissipate.

06/23/2025

I already miss Sintra so much, the area was just like a fairytale. I felt like it helped us tap into our soul longings and know they are not just allowed but actually meant for us.

On day 2, during morning yoga, a couple people started crying as I gave them reiki during savasana because they were not used to having loving touch 😱.

We had a great lesson on worthiness and how to measure worth (hint- your worth is not measurable or comparable)

After a fun lunch, we adventured to the Moorish Castle at the highest point in Sintra. I’m not going to lie, it was so scary and so high. I’m not afraid of heights that I know of, but walking up without a railing definitely made me feel like my uterus was going to fall out of me.

Rowan wasn’t scared at all, but I had to keep holding my gut. 😂

Dinner was served by our crazy talented private chef, Shani.

Then we closed out the night with breathwork for self love. There were tons of tears AND fears released that I think had been suppressed for awhile. Sometimes you need someone to give you permission to cry and everyone in our group was so supportive and non-judgmental.

Day 3 to come!!

Malan's Yoga Garden

10/02/2025

08/29/2025

08/28/2025

08/23/2025

08/20/2025

08/19/2025

08/17/2025

08/14/2025

07/09/2025

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06/23/2025

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