Dr. Cortney S. Warren - Choose Honesty, LLC

08/27/2025

Understanding someone is not the same as accepting their behavior.

Life is hard. People struggle. And as people struggle, you can feel empathy for what they're going through—maybe they’ve experienced trauma, loss, or pain that makes them act in harmful or unpleasant ways. That understanding is incredibly important--and can help you stop taking things personally because you'll see the bigger picture of who they are.

But here’s the truth: Just because you understand why someone is acting poorly doesn’t mean their behavior is okay.

You are always responsible for how you respond to your circumstances. And so is everyone else. Compassion matters, but so do boundaries. Understanding someone else doesn't mean you accept their behavior as acceptable.

08/20/2025

Do the best you can with the information you have right now.

Life doesn’t come with guarantees. Whether it's in love, work, or parenting, we all make choices based on what we know in the moment. And as we grow and learn, we’ll sometimes look back and think, ""Why did I do that?" That was a massive mistake!"

But that is only based on retrospective analysis. In the moment, it may have been the best decision you could have made given the information you had. In addition, making mistakes is generally how we learn. It's the ability to look back and critically evaluate our life that we can shift our choices in the present.

The truth is that one of the most important skills you can develop in life is to change as you get more information. To update your choices as you learn. That is where your ultimate power lies. That's how you'll grow the most.

08/13/2025

Can you really be just friends with your ex? 💭

This is a very difficulty question to answer--and it really depends on you and your unique situation. That said, it's quite common to still care about an ex after a breakup. This may lead you to think that you want to remain "just friends."

If you're transitioning from lovers to friends, here are 3 recommendations for setting clear boundaries that solidify the shift in relationship expectations:
1️⃣ Stop having s*x. It keeps emotional and physical ties alive, which makes it harder to move on.
2️⃣ Don’t stay friends just because you feel guilty. That’s not a good reason to keep someone in your life.
3️⃣ Don’t use the friendship as a backup plan. If you're hoping they’ll want to get back together or keeping them around just in case, it’s not a healthy friendship.

Ask yourself honestly—why do I want to stay friends? If it’s not for the right reasons, it might be better to let go.

08/13/2025

Cell phone snooping is such a relevant issue in our technology-filled world today. I'm glad to have been able to offer some professional commentary for CNN this week on the topic.

Read the full article here:

The breakup between “Love Island” stars JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez has sparked conversation about phone snooping. You can sleuth instead.

08/06/2025

Getting your heart broken hurts, but it’s also a gift. 💔

I know that may sound strange, especially when you’re in the thick of it. But experiencing heartbreak means you loved deeply. You opened yourself up to connection. And, you probably took the risks required to be vulnerable.

It’s easy to romanticize love and demonize loss. But every breakup teaches you something vital about who you are, what you need, and what you want to build next.

So, if you’re in pain, don’t stay mired in the suffering—reframe it. This heartbreak is not the end. It’s a chapter. A lesson. A powerful reminder that you can love and you will again.

07/30/2025

Even well-intentioned people can say things that come across as offensive or culturally insensitive. In a diverse world, it’s easy to misstep—but avoiding the conversation isn’t the answer.

In my latest Psychology Today article, I highlight 8 common phrases that can be unintentionally harmful and offer more respectful alternatives. These aren’t about shaming others, but about helping us all grow in cultural awareness and empathy.

When we know better, we can do better and create more open, inclusive conversations.

Read the full article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/naked-truth/202501/8-culturally-insensitive-phrases-and-what-to-say-instead

Are you afraid of talking about race, ethnicity, or gender because you might offend someone? Here are 8 phrases that can be culturally insensitive, and what to say instead.

07/24/2025

Don't use the outside world to prove your value.

People often use external "stuff" to show they're important. Things like money, beauty, cars, trips, and even other people.
But nothing external will ever make you feel like you’re enough if you don’t believe it already. True self-worth isn’t built from the outside in--it’s built from the inside out.

💡 So if you're using external factors to show your worth, ask yourself:
What helps me feel strong? What am I trying to prove and why? Who am I trying to impress?

When you notice yourself looking outside of yourself to prove your value, pause. Look in the mirror and work to build your inner world in a resilient, more self-enhancing way.

07/16/2025

Missing your ex?
That urge to “just check in” can feel so innocent, like a quick text won’t hurt.

But underneath it, there’s often something deeper: a need for connection, reassurance, or closure.

The problem? Reaching out usually reopens the emotional wound you’re trying to heal.

When you want to reach out to an ex, the real work is learning to sit with the discomfort.
💭 Instead of sending that message, ask yourself:
What am I really needing right now?
How else can I meet that need, without compromising my progress?

07/09/2025

Do you ever feel like you're not good enough?
Like something deep inside you is fundamentally broken?

The truth is that most people feel that way at some point in their life. Many of us have a inner voice that whispers negative comments from time to time--things like, "I'm unlovable. I'm not good enough. I'm never going to be okay."

The truth is that building self-esteem doesn't come from chasing external validation. It comes from shifting our internal narrative.

So, when those thoughts arise, pause. Shift your thinking to: “I’m struggling right now and I’m working on it.”
I'm not defined by my self-doubt.
I am a whole, imperfect, beautiful human being with strengths worth seeing.

Do this everyday.

07/02/2025

After a breakup, our thoughts can become unhelpful and extreme.

It's common to think things like, “Something’s wrong with me” or “No one will want me again.”

Yet these kinds of thoughts aren’t facts. They aren't fundamentally true. They're conclusions you make about yourself and others in your own mind.

If you notice negative statements running through your mind after a breakup, using more accurate mantras can help ground you. Statements like:
I define my worth.
I can hold my own.
I will get through this.

Practice shifting your thoughts to be more positive and accurate using mantras will help you shift your experience.

06/25/2025

When you're in pain, the most transformative question you can ask is:
What can I learn from this experience?

Every crisis holds a lesson about who you are, the choices you've made, and how you want to show up moving forward.

Even in the hardest moments, there’s an opportunity to grow.
Lean into it.

06/18/2025

We often think one big decision will fix everything.
Quit the job. End the relationship. Move across the country.

But real, lasting change really comes from the tiny choices you make every single day: how you think, how you respond, how you show up.

Start making small, intentional decisions that align with who you truly want to be. That may lead to big life changes--but it's the internal work that will shift your experience of life.