02/14/2025
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my amazing clients and followers! I wanted to share this previous post from Brené Brown and her incredible wisdom.
Last night, we hosted Senior Night for our school's basketball team. While I don’t have a high school senior of my own, I could still relate to the pride and joy as the players and their families walked the court. It was so much fun to cheer them on and celebrate their high school accomplishments and future life and college plans. I found myself reflecting on why I felt so passionate about this moment for these students. I’ve witnessed their struggles and victories both on and off the court, and I wanted our community to celebrate it all!
I also have a college senior who is graduating early, and it hit me—I couldn’t be prouder of my own daughter and all of these students and players. I feel the mix of emotions that come with watching our kids take the next steps and spread their wings.
This moment is the perfect example of a “both/and” experience—where multiple truths can coexist at the same time. Everyone has the right to their own experience, even when others may be feeling something different.
A reminder to enjoy it all—the feelings, the milestones, and to soak in the present moment!
Ellen graduated from high school this past weekend. It was beautiful and hard. Emotions are complex things. I’ve been studying the relationship between thought, behavior, and emotions for close to two decades, and I learned something new on Saturday morning.
There’s a combination of joy and grief that can take your breath away. The sum of those two parts wells up inside you and holds your breath hostage until you let go of the notion that you can control the paradox and choose between joy and grief. Your breath returns only when you submit to the reality that you are caught in the grips of both delight and sorrow. Both are strong. Both are true.
In many ways, the etymology of the word “paradox” captures the heart of what it means to love. From its Greek origins, it’s the joining of two words para (contrary to) and dokein (opinion). The Latin paradoxum means “seemingly absurd but really true.”
That's how parenting has always felt to me - unbelievably true.
I’ve shared as many life lessons as I could with Ellen, AND she has always been my teacher. I’ve tried to model our family belief that it’s okay to be brave and afraid at the same time, AND our children have always been the best example of what this looks like. We have a sign by our back door that reads, “We can do hard things.” We hung it there to remind the kids that hard work, tough conversation, and emotional pain are normal and important parts of life. AND, it’s Ellen who often whispers the saying in my ear when I doubt myself.
Sometimes she’s afraid to leave for college in the fall, and I assure her that she’s ready. Sometimes I’m fighting back tears, and she’ll say, “I’m ready. It’s going to be okay.” Sometimes we cheer together. And sometimes we hold each other and weep.
Now the toughest paradox of love – letting go and holding on.
Ellen, it’s time for you to fly. It’s one of the biggest scary-and-brave moments, but don’t worry – we’ll be holding on tight. Not always to each other, but to love, courage, faith, gratitude, and strength. All of the things you’ll need in the world. AND all of the things you already have.
