Stoic Sobriety

02/16/2025

A paraphrase of quote falsely attributed to Albert Einstein is on point: “A fish who judges himself by his ability to climb a tree will live his whole life believing that he is stupid.”

Sometimes you have to admit you’re a fish. You’re not a squirrel or a monkey or whatever tree-climbing animal you may have in mind. Nor are you a bird, able to fly. But that doesn’t mean that fish don’t have their own abilities. They can breathe water, for heaven’s sake!

The hard part is to stop looking at squirrels and birds and vainly wishing you were one of them. Try to see yourself for what you are—and how you could be the best version of that person possible.

Read more here: https://josephgrove.net/f/play-your-character

Have you ever played a video game where the software assigns you a character? You fire it up, and as you prepare to embark on the quest, you’re told who you are. You have certain skills and weaknesses. You have this gun ...

02/09/2025

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” That wisdom from Proverbs 29:18 is as true for the materialist as it is for the religious. We as a species are meant to look forward and to set our walk with intention. Otherwise, our path through life amounts to no more than meandering, a Sunday drive with no other benefit than, as my grandfather would say, “blowing the stink off.”

When we decide to become sober, it’s important to have a vision for what we can do with our sober lives, and to be as specific as possible. We need to cast a vision and pursue it assiduously. It’s one of the best ways to leave our addictions behind.

Again, the quote from Nietzsche comes to mind: “A person with a good enough ‘why’ can endure any ‘how.’”

What’s your why? What’s your vision?

Addicts and alcoholics in recovery can learn something from the birds.

01/06/2025

"Year after year, on the monkey's face, a monkey face." --Bashō

We set ourselves for significant disappointment and temptation to relapse when others disappoint us. People should never disappoint us, because if we watch them at all, we easily can predict how they will act.

Mean people stay mean. The impatient continue to tap their fingers, the miserly keep their wallets closed, and those who hold grudges yet polish their grievances in their hands. Your sobriety changes you, not them.

Don’t let your peace become prey to expectations of others. Assume what you always got will be what you always get. You seldom will be wrong.

01/04/2025

Struggling with resolutions? MOST PEOPLE DO! We who struggle with addiction issues, however, may face a tougher time than most. Here are 10 tips to help.

We who struggle with addiction to alcohol or drugs are infamously unlikely to keep our commitments to others. It is no surprise, then, we are even less likely to keep commitments to ourselves. Here, I want to propose a d...

01/03/2025

Just a thin layer of ice on the wings. A couple of gallons of water that freezes at the wrong time, the wrong place. That’s all it takes to make the best-designed airplane in the world stall and go crashing to the ground. It can build up slowly, undetected until it's too late.

Then, tragedy.

Aren’t we the same way? So much power in us. So much wisdom. Yet, a small quantity of the wrong stuff can glaze over us, reduce our lift. Send us crashing to the ground. Maybe taking other people with us.

We soar higher. Small matters build. And down we go.

It’s important to keep our wings clean. Many addicts and alcoholics are conflict-avoidant by nature. We put off making things right with someone who has aggrieved us or whom we have aggrieved. We let minor problems build–the need to talk to a creditor before a bill goes to collections; to put air into a tire before it goes flat–until they become giant ones. Then, we’re stressed, anxious, and wanting the relief the our substance of choice will provide.

This year, take time every day or two to list the small problems you know can become too big tomorrow to face, without or without a shot or a hit. Don’t let the ice build on your wings.

01/02/2025

For the addict, the world outside of ourselves is more often a nightmare than a mere dream. But by looking inward, we can begin to question why we see things the way we do — and so often find them difficult enough to warrant drinking or drugging.

“There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare had it right, and Stoic philosophers would agree.

This year, pay more attention to your reactions to the world and why you have them, and pay less attention to the world itself.

01/28/2024

Play your character! Imagine yourself to be a character in a video game. Certain strengths. Certain weaknesses. And then be the best character you can be. Level up when you. But not begrudge what nature and childhood and your experiences have made you to be.

Have you ever played a video game where the software assigns you a character? You fire it up, and as you prepare to embark on the quest, you’re told who you are. You have certain skills and weaknesses. You have this gun ...

10/07/2023

Stoic philosophy, with its focus on accountability and acceptance, can offer people recovering from drug addiction and alcoholism a new way of looking at the world—and surviving its highs and lows without relapse.

Stoic philosophy is a simple, practical way of looking at the world that promotes acceptance, peace and resilience in the face of life's challenges. Combined with nontheistic tenets from 12 Step programs, Stoicism can pr...

09/25/2023

Why not A.A.? As religion continues to lose its grip on people in the United States, fewer people needing recovery will be able to accept the core religiosity of traditional 12 Step programs. To help them, there must be another solution.

The success of 12 Step programs comes in part from the belief of their followers that they are being supported by divine help. For the increasing number who no longer believe in a god, then, a new approach must be found...