05/23/2022
Truth
So true.
• People often think about my function as a midwife as being a safeguard "in case something goes wrong."
But in actuality most of my function is normalizing what's going right.
Yes, I can stop your hemorrhage or help your baby breathe or recognize the symptoms of pre-eclampsia or whatever thing might "go wrong." I am proud of the fact that I have the skills to keep people safe in these instances.
But it's hardly what I spend most of my time doing. In the average birth my skills recognizing and affirming what’s normal is just as important as my skill in recognizing what’s not.
In the average birth people are already safe, and probably would be even if I wasn’t there. Because birth is typically safe. So what people need from me, most of all, is to FEEL safe.
Birth is hard. It is vulnerable. It brings us to the very limits of ourselves. And, in our culture, it is something not a lot of people have experience with. Instead, it is something around which they've had a lot of fear and doubt instilled.
Even with childbirth education and research and watching endless birth videos , most people in labor (and particularly first time laborers) cannot believe that this is what labor actually is. Having someone steady in the waves is a balm that helps them withstand the storm. It is grounding to have someone reminding them that, yes, this is what it is. Yes, it's hard, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Yes, what is happening is normal. Yes, you are doing this exactly right.
Our faith in the process of birth, as a culture, has been undermined. So it's helpful to have someone there who has faith in it. It's helpful to have someone there who has faith in YOU. And it's helpful to have someone who you have faith in, so that you can trust they'll have your back "if something goes wrong" but, just as importantly, so that you trust them when they tell you when everything is just right, too.
Beautiful moment of reassurance between me and a client captured by
