03/22/2024
My first experience was in the same room my uncle had already died in. Maybe that's what stopped me. What I can tell you is that I was 14 yrs old and I did not want to live one more day. I brought the can of Pam spray in my room, and a bag. I heard that if you sprayed it in the bag and inhaled, that would be it. So, that's what I did. Apparently I had no idea what I was doing, because it didn't work. I sprayed into the bag, sat on the edge of my bed and hoped to God that I wouldn't wake up again. I took the deepest breath I could. It did nothing but made me a teeny tiny bit dizzy and made me feel sh*tty because I didn't even know how to kill myself, I was disappointed because I thought it was going to be a lot easier and I wanted so much for him to find me. I wanted him to feel something, or at least try to make him feel something. I wanted that power over him for once.
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