02/06/2026
1. Donāt apologize for your body.
I promise you, Iāve seen every shape, size, and level of chaos a human body can offer.
Shaved legs? Back hair? Acne? Stretch marks? Literally none of that matters.
Just show up clean and weāre good. šš»
2. Respect the cancellation policy. Seriously.
When you cancel last-minute, I lose income. P**f. Gone.
And no, I canāt magically summon someone to fill your spot with 12 minutesā notice.
This policy keeps your therapist functional and her family fed. Please and thank you.
3. If your issue has been around since the dinosaurs, I canāt fix it in one session. š¦ That knot youāve had since 2019? Yeahā¦ sheās committed. šŖØ
Repetitive habits create chronic problems. Regular sessions fix them.
Once every few months = maintenance for denial, not your body.
4. Speak up if it hurts. Iām good, not psychic. š®
I wonāt be offended if you ask for more pressure, less pressure, or a whole different technique.
Your session isnāt a guessing gameātell me what your body needs.
5. Feeling amazing on the table does NOT equal romantic chemistry. š¤¦š½āāļø That warm floaty feeling? Itās serotonin and skilled touchānot a love connection.
This is healthcare. Sexualizing my job IS offensive. Donāt make it weird.
6. Your tight shoulders are not the worst Iāve ever seen. Promise. Everyoneās shoulders are tight. Everyoneās.
Youāre not a medical marvelāyouāre just a human who texts and stresses. Welcome to the Club! š
7. And for the love of fascia: stop apologizing for your tight muscles. They make my job fun. They keep me employed.
Iām literally here because youāre tight. Relax. š
