Raquel Shumway Cruz, MS, LMFT-Associate

Raquel Shumway Cruz, MS, LMFT-Associate I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate in Lubbock, TX. I help individuals, couples

I have experience working with trauma, grief and a variety of other mental health issues. I believe in the power of attachment in our relationships and the healing that can come through turning towards one another. I particularly enjoy helping women and teens cultivate healing and happiness, despite the difficult experiences we face in this life.

Couples, individuals, & families!
04/18/2023

Couples, individuals, & families!

This is a loaded concept. I’ve been thinking a lot about it as I’ve been studying more about anxiety and self-care. Here...
06/29/2021

This is a loaded concept. I’ve been thinking a lot about it as I’ve been studying more about anxiety and self-care.
Here’s the thing, sometimes saying no means you feel a whole lot better.
That doesn’t always mean it’s better for you.
You know what doesn’t help anxiety? Avoidance.
If there is a certain experience that makes you anxious, the only way to decrease that anxiety is to keep facing that experience in an effort to change the message of fear that your brain is sending you.
The same idea could be likened to self-care practices.
Sometimes when you wake up in the morning the last thing you want to do is move your body, when in reality, that is the very thing that will make you feel better if you do it.

There is always a time to say “no” to things that don’t serve you, but make sure you check with yourself first that you aren’t just avoiding uncomfortable emotions.
Staying stuck is not the same thing as honoring yourself and your feelings.
Sometimes doing things scared is where the real reward lies.

This year one of my New Year’s resolutions was to say “YES!” to more things that I didn’t want to do, especially things that scared me or made me uncomfortable.
And guess what?
It’s changed my life for the better.

Each time I’ve made the conscious decision to push past my anxieties and face hard things, the reward has been new growth and joy in my life.
Sometimes the reward for getting uncomfortable is that your brain learns that new experiences aren’t that scary and more experiences can be incredibly fulfilling.
Sometimes truly honoring yourself is getting out of your comfort zone!

This idea that people should already know that we love them or be able to feel it without us saying it can be hurtful. T...
05/06/2021

This idea that people should already know that we love them or be able to feel it without us saying it can be hurtful.
This idea that as our kids grow up they don’t need as much love or affection can be hurtful.
This idea that we’ve been married for so long that we don’t even have to say those things anymore can be hurtful.
This idea that we are “fine” without hearing expressions of love often and freely can be harmful.
Love and attachment is everything in our relationships.
If you’re not sure where to start when it comes to strengthening connections with your kids, partners, siblings, or friends, one way to start is to simply speak the words “I love you” more often and without conditions!

I had a final session with a client the other day and I asked her what she thinks was the most important thing she learn...
04/30/2021

I had a final session with a client the other day and I asked her what she thinks was the most important thing she learned while coming to therapy and she said,

“I think it’s probably that it’s okay to take up space in other people’s lives, because we all need that sometimes.”

I was like 🤯🤯 wait did you learn that from me?!😂
She put it in such a profound way and I was so proud in that moment. She is one of those clients that came in so open to the process and really let it change her. She did the work.
Forever grateful for clients like that and how much they teach me in return.

I also asked her if I could quote her, so she knows.🤎

If you’ve read The Body Keeps the Score, the reality of this phrase is clear. I understand it on a logical level, but I ...
04/28/2021

If you’ve read The Body Keeps the Score, the reality of this phrase is clear. I understand it on a logical level, but I didn’t quite connect the dots in my personal life.

As the anniversary of my mom passing away approached this year, I had several friends reach out to see how I was doing. I thought a lot about how I was feeling this year, as it’s been four years since I lost her. I rarely get overwhelmed anymore. I have sad days and moments regularly still, but the harsh sting of her death is not as painful as it was that first year. I don’t cry as often and it doesn’t affect my day to day ability to function.

What I did notice this year was that for a few weeks before the anniversary I was feeling very emotional. Tears felt close to the surface at all times and I felt like I could cry about anything. I felt tender and vulnerable. I didn’t necessarily relate those feelings to my mom dying, but then I was talking with a friend and as I explained how I had been feeling she responded with “Oh yeah, your body remembers that stuff. It remembers the trauma.”
Duh. Light bulb moment.
I knew that, I had studied it, but I hadn’t yet connected the dots in my own life.
My mom’s death was absolutely traumatic. She went from being in our home every day, to being taken to the hospital in an ambulance and dying a few days later. The state she was in while in the hospital was horrible. We watched her suffer and struggle for life. I laid across her legs sobbing, while she struggled to breathe and ultimately took her very last breath.
It was devastating and traumatic.
My body remembers that.

I’ve continued living, I’ve allowed myself to feel it all, I’ve grieved, I’ve talked about it, but my body doesn’t forget.
It’s an important connection to make when we’re trying to heal and understand ourselves.
Be patient with your mind and body as they both try to heal. Give yourself grace no matter how long it’s been since your trauma.
Recognize when anniversaries of traumas and grief arrive and how they may affect you physically and emotionally.
Grief and loss is a process.
Trauma is a process.
Let it take up the appropriate space in your life even as you move toward healing.

I’m a big believer in positive affirmations. If you’re my client you know this, and have probably heard me talk about ho...
04/15/2021

I’m a big believer in positive affirmations. If you’re my client you know this, and have probably heard me talk about how I make my little kids repeat them often.
Last night when I was at work, my seven year old was getting ready for soccer practice and he grabbed his notebook and wrote this down. He told his dad that he just wanted to remember these things.

I can do this.
This is gonna be great.
Have fun.
Be nice and kind.
Make friends.
Stand up for people.
Always look on the bright side.

They are listening and learning how to talk to themselves.
You have the power to help that little voice inside their head be a positive one.🤍

The number one thing I want my clients to know.You’re feeling it all because you’re paying attention.You’re making mista...
03/24/2021

The number one thing I want my clients to know.
You’re feeling it all because you’re paying attention.
You’re making mistakes because you’re human.
You’re struggling because life is hard.
You’re coping that way because your trauma taught you to.
You’re imperfect because we all are.

Being human is hard, but also freeing.🤎

We spend a lot of time talking about what healthy boundaries look like, here’s an example of what it might look like or ...
02/25/2021

We spend a lot of time talking about what healthy boundaries look like, here’s an example of what it might look like or feel like if you’re not giving yourself the gift of clear and healthy boundaries.

Everyone might be guilty of this at times, but the more you can learn to honor your wants and needs enough to make them clear to the people around you, the more you can reap the benefits of healthy and fulfilling relationships- with yourself and others!

“Finding words where words were absent before and, as a result, being able to share your deepest pain and deepest feelin...
02/24/2021

“Finding words where words were absent before and, as a result, being able to share your deepest pain and deepest feelings with another human being. This is one of the most profound experiences we can have, and such resonance, in which hitherto unspoken words can be discovered, uttered, and received, is fundamental to healing the isolation of trauma- especially if the other people in our lives have ignored or silenced us.”
-The Body Keeps The Score

I’d love to know your thoughts on this!

Food for thought for your Tuesday morning.I have been working with a lot of teens lately in my practice, and I can’t str...
02/23/2021

Food for thought for your Tuesday morning.

I have been working with a lot of teens lately in my practice, and I can’t stress enough how much this space is needed.
They crave this safe place where they are allowed to be human and learn for themselves, not just from anyone, but specifically from their parents.🤍

A few years ago I completed the Gottman Level 1 and 2 Couples Therapy Training.One of my favorite principles of Gottman’...
02/22/2021

A few years ago I completed the Gottman Level 1 and 2 Couples Therapy Training.
One of my favorite principles of Gottman’s work is the idea of turning towards each other.
This idea of actively noticing bids for attention from our partner and then responding to them.

I also wrote down this quote during the training and will never forget it.
If your partner is complaining, try recognizing the need underneath it first.
What is your partner really longing for? What do they really need from you?
If you’re the one complaining, try expressing the longing underneath it instead of always reaching for the complaint first.
“I would really love if we could spend more time together, I’ve been missing you lately” is a lot harder to argue with or get defensive about than, “You’re never home and I’m so sick of it.”

You’re not needy, you just have needs...and that’s okay.❤️

Address

Lubbock
Lubbock, TX
79424

Opening Hours

Wednesday 6pm - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 7pm

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Raquel Shumway Cruz, MS, LMFT-Associate posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Raquel Shumway Cruz, MS, LMFT-Associate:

Shortcuts

Featured

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category