Emerging Therapy with Melinda Thomas, MA, LPC

05/17/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/1AKrNAgBrC/?mibextid=wwXIfr

You cannot make someone want to show up for you and the exhaustion of trying is one of the most draining experiences a person can put themselves through. When you are the one initiating every conversation, carrying the entire emotional weight of the connection, and bending yourself into shapes just to keep something alive that the other person is barely breathing life into, that is not a relationship. That is you loving someone else's potential while they invest the bare minimum and watch you do all the work.

Matching someone's lack of effort with your own unavailability is not being petty and it is not playing games. It is setting a standard that says your time, your energy, and your presence are not free and unlimited resources available to anyone who treats them carelessly. People will always show you exactly how much you mean to them through their consistency, not their words. Stop rewarding those who show you very little with access to everything you are. Let them feel the weight of what they chose not to value while they still had the chance.

05/16/2026

05/15/2026

The most powerful action you can do in your life is build your routine—routines that are built on your core values. What are your core values? How do you build a routine around them? These are some things you can explore on your own or with a therapist. Do this and watch and FEEL your life change. Your power lies in your routine.

05/06/2026

Stop pretending you're completely OK in the face of painful events. Our culture likes you more if you aren't too angry or too sad, so we repress these necessary emotional reactions and they manifest as anxiety, depression, which in turn come out in other unhealthy ways – possibly addictions to a number of things —substances, s*x, food, gambling, to name a few.

Feel the anger. Feel the pain – to the depth that it exists. Share it with someone who is safe – who will listen and not minimize. If that's not a friend or a family member that's where a therapist can help you release the emotions you need to release.

Many times our friends and family feel they’re being helpful by pointing out how it could be worse. Some others will be openly put off and show frustration over the pain you are sharing. These people are not helpful. You must find a safe person. —MJT

04/30/2026