09/23/2025
Becoming a Better Person: It Starts with Choice
September 22, 2025
Dr. Jean Stanley
In life, we often hear the phrase, “People don’t change.” But the truth is, people can change — for the better — if they choose to. Choosing to become a better person isn’t about perfection; it’s about intention, action, and persistence. Here’s how that choice can unfold, and how anyone can make it real.
1. The Starting Point: Decision & Intention
Make the conscious choice. Change doesn’t usually happen by accident. It begins when you decide, “I want to be better.” That may mean kinder, more honest, more patient, more self‐aware — whatever “better” means for you. Define what “better” means for you rather than adopt someone else’s version. What do you value? What qualities do you admire in others? What do you want your relationships, work, and inner life to look like?
2. Small Steps Over Grand Gestures
Big goals are motivating, but often overwhelming. Break things down. If you want to be more empathetic, maybe start by listening more without interrupting. If you want to be more disciplined, begin with one consistent daily routine. Celebrate small wins. Every time you follow through with even a small act of kindness, or choose patience over frustration, you’re reinforcing your new pattern.
3. Awareness & Reflection
Self-awareness is crucial. Notice your thoughts, feelings, reactions. When do you slide back into old habits? Why? What triggers you?
Reflect regularly — daily or weekly — on what went well and what you want to adjust. Journaling, meditation, talking with a trusted friend or mentor can help.
4. Be Kind to Yourself (Self-Compassion)
Change involves mistakes. Expect them. When you slip up, treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend.
Don’t let one misstep become a justification for giving up. Each day is a new chance.
5. Surroundings Matter
We’re influenced by what and who’s around us. Surround yourself with people who model qualities you admire. Seek out environments (physical, social, mental) that support growth.
Remove or reduce what drags you down such as toxic relationships, negative media, self-criticism without purpose.
6. Persistence and Patience
Real change takes time. It’s like growing a tree: root systems are hidden, growth is slow, storms happen. But over time, the tree becomes strong. Keep going, even when progress seems invisible. Small incremental improvements add up in ways you may not immediately see.
7. Living Your Better Self
As the new habits take root, let your character show through in daily life: in honesty, in how you treat others, in your work, in how you handle conflict. Use your growth to serve others. Often, one of the most powerful markers of “being better” is not just feeling better, but contributing positively: helping others, being kind, listening, healing rifts.
Why It’s Worth It
- Improved relationships, more trust, more fulfilling work and connection.
- Inner peace through less regret, less self-loathing, more confidence in who you are.
- Ripple effects: when others see your change, it can inspire or ripple outward.
Final Thought
Choosing to be better isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a continuous process. It begins in the mind and in the heart, then moves into everyday actions. If you’re reading this, you already have everything you need to start such as awareness, choice, and willingness. Take that first step. And then another, and another. Over time, what began as honest self-reflection followed by a single choice, eventually becomes a life transformed by “better” from the inside out.
