09/07/2025
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19B1NWLcwh/?mibextid=wwXIfr
I was visiting an intellectual and developmental disability service when a young autistic man walked up to me and looked me straight in the eye. I began to introduce myself, but before I could finish, the service manager cut in, “He’s level 3, he's severe!” she barked. The young man looked down at his hands, turned, and walked away.
I wasn’t told his name, how he communicates, what he loves, what makes him laugh. The label had spoken so loudly, it drowned out everything else. I felt a wave of sadness and quiet anger, not just at the words, but at how quickly they erased the person standing right in front of me.
“Severe,” she called him, and just like that, expectations get lowered. Don’t expect too much. Don’t try too hard. Don’t listen too closely. When labels are used in this way, they don’t describe people; they describe how others have chosen to treat them.
The thing is, people aren’t products on a shelf. You can’t line them up and rank them mild, moderate, severe like grades of cheese or weather alerts. The problem with this kind of labeling is that it flattens people. It turns rich, complex human lives into medical shorthand.
What’s “mild” about struggling to make friends? What’s “severe” about needing help to speak but having deep insight to share?
People are more than their support needs. When we use labels like this we’re not supporting them, we’re limiting them. The truth is, everyone communicates, everyone connects, and everyone deserves to be seen as fully human. Let’s not let a label get in the way of that.
Instead of reaching for labels, let’s reach for understanding. Say how someone communicates, what brings them comfort, what excites them, what they want from the world.
Our support should start with listening, not sorting. When we lead with curiosity and respect, we open the door to real connection, and that’s where true support begins.
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ID: Man standing looking at his iPad. Words over his eyes read 'Severe Autism.' Text above image reads: Why you need to stop ranking autistic people.
