03/29/2024
Great idea!
If you try to teach a child to use self-regulation strategies when they’re already at 100% frustrated and overwhelmed — they cannot learn it. Nobody can. Adults can’t tap into self-regulation when they’re at 100% either.
But adults put *tons* of their focus on what a child should do when they’re already mad, and comparatively little focus on what children should do throughout the day to stay regulated and feeling good.
An easy tip is to figure out what comes naturally when already mad, and use it preemptively in a different form. Here’s what I mean.
If your child (or you) yells and screams naturally when they’re mad, instead, preemptively throughout the day, play some loud music and joyfully shout the lyrics along, or play a loud talking/quiet talking game.
If they slam doors or throw things naturally when they’re mad, instead, preemptively throughout the day, throw a stress ball against the wall and catch it, or throw pillows onto the couch.
If they run away naturally when they’re mad, instead, preemptively, play chase games or run to a targeted area and run back or time them.
Do them at 10%, 30%, 50%, and you may not hit 100%.
[Image description: A picture of me, a person with fluffy blue-and-purple hair wearing a big teal coat, shouting delightedly along with a Barns Courtney song in my car, with my fist clenched enthusiastically.
Next to the picture of me is a big teal square with words on it: “Use sensory strategies to self-regulate when you’re not already frustrated (like by shouting song lyrics in a car) to bring your body to a state where it doesn’t get frustrated and reach for emergency strategies (like shouting at your kids).”
Also, this photo was taken posed while my car was fully parked in my driveway, so don’t be concerned about me taking selfies while driving. :)
End description.]
