
07/19/2025
✨New up on my Substack✨
“We often minimize cheating. “It’s not like someone died,” people say. But the truth is that infidelity is a relational death. And in some cases, it’s experienced as more traumatic than divorce, illness, or even bereavement (Gordon, Baucom, & Snyder, 2004).
As a psychologist, I’ve worked with people who have described feeling physically ill after discovering a partner’s affair. They can’t sleep, eat, or concentrate. They feel relentlessly sick to their stomach. They have panic attacks. One thing I know is that this distress is undeniably grounded in lived expeirence and neurobiological evidence. Research shows that infidelity can register as a traumatic event in the body and brain. Infidelity is trauma.”