For Better or For BEST

10/16/2024

HOW TO CELEBRATE YOUR MARRIAGE ALL YEAR

Anniversaries are wonderful times to ... But we encourage you to celebrate each other all year long. These celebrations can look however you want ... and give you something to look forward to ...

DON'T WAIT FOR TYPICAL "SPECIAL OCCASIONS"
.. you can make them up as you go. If you simply feel like planning an extra-special date night or weekend getaway, then start dreaming up your adventure. ... Your marriage is worth celebrating every day, so think of dates that work for the two of you and schedule that time together.

CREATE NEW TRADITIONS, JUST BECAUSE

You and your spouse can build your own traditions based on memories and activities that are important to you. Then, celebrate them at a time you choose. ... Together, you can commemorate things that might only be significant to your relationship. Remembering events like your first date, the day you got engaged, or even a memorable event you enjoyed together ...

REVIEW THE TOP 10 HIGHLIGHTS OF YOUR YEAR
.. These highlights can be special everyday moments that stand out to you, or they can be big, important events in your year. ... perhaps you took a vacation that turned out to be really memorable. ... This year-in-review gives you a chance to focus on laughing, sharing memories, and celebrating.

(excerpted from Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott's SYMBIS blog ... read the rest here: https://www.symbis.com/blog/how-to-celebrate-your-marriage-all-year/?utm_source=Devotion+by+Les+and+Leslie&utm_campaign=664dd2de7d-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_10_15_02_14&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-664dd2de7d-%5BLIST_EMAIL_ID%5D&mc_cid=664dd2de7d&mc_eid=95091c839a )

Anniversaries are wonderful times to reflect on your relationship. But we encourage you to celebrate each other all year long.

07/24/2024

This one is so common, I thought I'd just post the link and let y'all read the whole (brief) article.

My Spouse and I have Children from Previous Marriages. How Do We Make It Work?

Blending two families from previous marriages can be challenging. We have tips to help you guide your children through this season.

07/17/2024

HOW TO MAKE SPACE FOR INTIMACY DURING THE PARENTING YEARS ... When you’re raising kids, daily obligations and responsibilities can get in the way of intimacy. But that doesn’t mean you have to put intimacy on hold. ... In this season, it’s especially important to focus on one another with patience, love, and understanding.

PRIORITIZE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND PHYSICAL CLOSENESS When time for physical intimacy is limited, prioritize building more emotional intimacy with your spouse. ... When you cultivate a high level of emotional intimacy in your marriage, that can carry you through during times when s*x is less frequent. If both of you are feeling emotionally nurtured, s*x will be that much more satisfying.

Like emotional intimacy, it’s important to emphasize physical closeness. Non-s*xual touch like cuddling, sitting together, and hugging helps you both feel loved.

PLAN AHEAD WHEN YOU CAN ... Work with your spouse to plan ahead for intimacy whenever you can. ... Finding time for intimacy in the midst of a busy life won’t just happen by chance. You’ll need to create the time and opportunities to be together. ... But the most important thing is making sure you protect as much time together as you can.

Planning ahead also gives you the opportunity to enlist help from trusted friends and family. ... you’ll have more time to find a babysitter. Surround yourself with supportive people you can trust ...

REMEMBER THIS ISN’T FOREVER The days feel long when you’re taking care of babies and young kids, but this season doesn’t last forever. ... once you’re on the other side, you might just look back and realize it flew by. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or simply longing for more intimacy with your spouse, remember that this time is temporary.

07/10/2024

HELP! HOW DO WE PRIORITIZE OUR MARRIAGE AS NEW PARENTS? (4 of 4)

When parenting requires the majority of your time, what are some ways you and your spouse can prioritize your marriage?

TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER

Perhaps the simplest way to prioritize your marriage in the early parenting years is to take care of each other. When you have babies, you’re both exhausted and need sleep. Toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary-aged children require different kinds of care and attention. Parenting demands will shift with time.

Ensuring your spouse feels cared for during this season is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Instead of becoming disillusioned with the changes that come with parenthood, embrace them. This season will pass, but you’ll always remember how you treated one another when your children were small and you needed someone to lean on.

07/10/2024

HELP! HOW DO WE PRIORITIZE OUR MARRIAGE AS NEW PARENTS? (3 of 4)

When parenting requires the majority of your time, what are some ways you and your spouse can prioritize your marriage?

PLAN DATE NIGHTS, EVEN IF THEY’RE DATE NIGHTS IN

If you can, plan date night together as often as you can. When you have infants and small kids, these might be more seldom than you’d like. Still, making time just for one another is important whenever possible.

It might be difficult to get out of the house, depending on your circumstances. In that case, maybe planning date nights in could give you and your spouse the time you crave without taking you away from home. Consider asking family members or trusted friends to babysit for a little while, whether you stay in or go out.

07/10/2024

HELP! HOW DO WE PRIORITIZE OUR MARRIAGE AS NEW PARENTS? (2 of 4)

When parenting requires the majority of your time, what are some ways you and your spouse can prioritize your marriage?

BE UNDERSTANDING WITH ONE ANOTHER

Parenting brings with it differences in energy and availability that you might not have experienced before. It’s important to be understanding with each other during the ups and downs. This is true all the time, but especially when you’re sleep-deprived and raising one or more small children.

There will be days when you don’t get much one-on-one time together. It might also be difficult to schedule dates and intimacy as often as you’d like. Keep loving each other unconditionally, and look for ways to spend time together when you can.

07/10/2024

HELP! HOW DO WE PRIORITIZE OUR MARRIAGE AS NEW PARENTS? (1 of 4)

When parenting requires the majority of your time, what are some ways you and your spouse can prioritize your marriage?

KEEP OPEN COMMUNICATION ALIVE

Communication is crucial in every season of marriage, and it’s especially important now. Even if you don’t have a lot of time for long conversations in this season, make as much time to communicate as you can. There’s no other way to clearly let your spouse know what you need, or to learn and meet their needs in the best possible way. When you start having kids, you experience many changes in multiple areas of your life all at once; so keep communication strong and consistent.

06/26/2024

HELP! MY SPOUSE IS A KNOW-IT-ALL. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

When you’re married to someone for a long time, certain parts of their personality can feel challenging. ... If your spouse tends to behave like a know-it-all, you have probably felt this discomfort.
You can’t change your spouse’s behavior, but there are some things you can do to encourage improvement. ... We can speak into one another, helping each other to see areas where we can improve. ...

WHEN DOES YOUR SPOUSE ACT LIKE A KNOW-IT-ALL? ... Does this happen all the time, or just with friends or family? Do they engage in these behaviors at home, or just when you’re out together? ... if your spouse acts differently with friends or family than they do with you ... your spouse may be feeling insecure around certain people.

UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR SPOUSE IS COMING FROM ... They may take on this persona in social situations in order to impress others ... they want to be seen in a certain way – maybe as knowledgeable or helpful. ... your spouse may have started to believe that being “the one with all the answers” got them the acceptance they craved.

CREATE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT OF YOUR OWN ... offer them some positive reinforcement of your own. They may be looking for love, reassurance, and acceptance, so make sure you’re giving them that at home. ... Clearly, your spouse is excited to share interesting information with others. If it’s appropriate, you may want to acknowledge that.

LET YOUR SPOUSE EXPERIENCE THE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES ... some habits and behaviors – like being a know-it-all – carry social consequences. People aren’t drawn into conversations with know-it-alls. ... they tend to avoid those interactions.

06/12/2024

I know some folks in this situation. How does it affect YOUR marriage?

https://www.symbis.com/blog/my-spouse-started-a-business-and-im-scared-what-now/?utm_source=Devotion+by+Les+and+Leslie&utm_campaign=b7c386f8bf-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_06_11_03_20&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-b7c386f8bf-%5BLIST_EMAIL_ID%5D&mc_cid=b7c386f8bf&mc_eid=95091c839a

05/28/2024

Putting S*x on the Calendar: Can it Work?

Scheduling s*x is something that many couples resist. [It] sounds unpleasant, like an item on a to-do list. you might even argue that it takes away spontaneity.

But ... we [Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott] know that [it] works for many couples. ...

PLANNING CREATES ANTICIPATION
One reason why [it] works ... is that planning actually creates anticipation for the moment. It helps you to get into the frame of mind to spend time on intimacy. ... [It] can help you keep it a priority.
.. think of it as something to look forward to. ...

PLANNING ALLOWS FOR PREPARATION.. Both of you can build an appropriate rhythm around these dates ... make sure your schedules are cleared ...
.. If you have children, you might need to plan for childcare. [It] doesn't sound glamorous, but it's definitely worth the effort ...

(My add .... maybe at least occasionally that planning includes preparing the ambience, attire, or other elements of being/getting "in the mood" so to speak)

PLANNING CREATES PACING YOU CAN AGREE ON
(Synopsis: You can find a middle ground as to the frequency each prefers ... AND ... there is still the option of spontaneity in addition to, or separate from, the schedule.)

Remember, you and your spouse can make the rules and adjust them as you go.

[SYMBIS blogs; Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott]

05/24/2024

05/09/2024

Even if it isn't now, has your marriage ever felt stale? Check this out (from Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott), and then - like the Bible - don't just read it ... DO IT!