02/10/2026
When a dear friend was facing a significant illness, the writer John O’Donohue sent a letter that included the words: “May you find in yourself a courageous hospitality toward what is difficult, painful, and unknown.”
What we need the most amid personal challenges is hospitality.We often believe that personal change will come through persistence—by pushing harder, seeking insights, and doing more. But often, that persistence is actually leading us further away from the core issues we need to address.
Outsourcing our needs to others and relying on will power are tenuous solutions. The more sustainable option is to teach ourselves that, even in our deepest vulnerability, we can become the soothing, safe, and secure presence we need.
Without personal hospitality, we risk using other people as sanatoriums and seeking quick fixes to profound questions that, if given the space to be processed, could transform us.
Hospitality may feel slower, but the healing and growth it fosters are far more profound—and in the long run, faster.