Elevated Life Counseling

03/14/2024

Are you a people pleaser? Avoid conflict as much as possible? Unhappy because you are not doing anything you want to do because you are too busy taking care of everybody else? Come get the support to leave this Nice Guy System and find your happiness again.
Stop fighting the battle alone! Grant from Elevated Life Counseling is sending you a personal invitation to join our virtual men's group every Thursday night at 7:00 where we support each other and learn how to overcome the validation system, also known as The Nice Guy Syndrome, to improve our lives and relationships. It is an hour long, the cost is $35.00 and anyone is welcome. The Zoom link is below. Hope to see you there.

Grant Murdoch is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: No More Mr. Nice Guy Group
Time: Mar 14, 2024 07:00 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada)
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/85835617784?pwd=olbQXP4QRY9k9twaKTCMzOp5hiZ7Iy.1
Meeting ID: 858 3561 7784
Passcode: 256849

03/08/2024

Unhappy in your marriage? Struggling to find connection? Want a more partnered relationship? Learn how to change the systems that keep marriages stuck and unhappy. Call, text or email for a free consultation or visit my website happinessrediscovered.org for more information about me and what I do.

Struggling with anxiety, depression, addiction, or just want a counselor to talk too? Call me and we discuss what we can do to help you have the best life possible.

03/06/2024

Come join our No More Mr. Nice Guy Group. If you struggle with conflict, are a people pleaser and feel like you are an overall nice guy, but struggle in your marriage, career or other social settings because of these seemingly good qualities. Come learn from a licensed therapist and other men how to find strength and create the life you want and overcome these systems that hold you back.
Grant Murdoch is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting. Only $35.00 for a 1 hr. group meeting. For more info go to happinessrediscovered.org
Topic: No More Mr. Nice Guy Group
Time: Mar 7, 2024 07:00 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada)
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83023013432?pwd=A9rebP9V3VlfNRQtQI10ikLh3oXf42.1
Meeting ID: 830 2301 3432
Passcode: 535858

02/20/2024

Hi all
I hope you can join our NMMNG group this Thursday at 7:00 PM via the zoom link below. The group is one hour long, cost is $35.00 paid via Venmo or Cash App. We will be touching on not being hidden, why nice guys hide and how to step into personal strength. We look forward to seeing you there.

Grant
Elevated Life Counseling
801-362-6591

Grant Murdoch is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: No More Mr. Nice Guy Group
Time: Feb 22, 2024 07:00 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82026269205?pwd=DIBRKhmNV7Dyshzfmw6FuNVDTXbDqS.1

Meeting ID: 820 2626 9205
Passcode: 169667

02/14/2024

Join our group Thursday 2/15/24. link below. Learn skills to improve your relationship, personal life and career.

Grant Murdoch is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: No More Mr. Nice Guy Group
Time: Feb 15, 2024 07:00 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/86949658392?pwd=zDSd2vwxiTUa91EaL8Ox8ABYJZQe63.1
Meeting ID: 869 4965 8392
Passcode: 225249

02/10/2024

Often we work so hard to improve our lives and relationships with minimal success. This can be frustrating and discouraging. Yet the real problem may be in our inability to see the faulty operating system in which we are entrenched. Exposing the limitations of the operating system provides the opportunity for meaningful growth and real freedom. Elevated Life Counseling

02/10/2024

Often we work so hard to improve our lives and relationships with minimal success. This can be frustrating and discouraging. Yet the real problem may be in our inability to see the faulty operating system in which we are entrenched. Exposing the limitations of the operating system provides the opportunity for meaningful growth and real freedom. Elevated Life Counseling

06/28/2022

06/20/2022

Mr. Nice Guy
What does it look like to be a nice guy?
Nice guys believe that if they are good, and do everything right, they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem free life. They attempt to be good, typically by trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves, such as mistakes, needs or emotions, and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.,)
Nice guys are happiest when they are making others happy. They avoid conflict at all costs, they will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting others. Generally, they are peaceful and generous.
Nice guys are especially concerned about pleasing women and being different than those “other guys!” You know, the guys that are selfish and self centered.
Nice guys behaviors and characteristics: Love to care take, are givers, fix problems, they keep the peace, avoid conflict, believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes, seek approval from others, seek the right way to do things, repress their feelings, try to be different than their fathers, often more comfortable relating to women than men, have difficulty making their needs a priority, often make their partner their emotional center.

Truth about what being a nice guy really looks like. In reality, Nice Guys are not nice at all!
They are dishonest, secretive, compartmentalized, manipulative, controlling, passive-aggressive, full of rage, hide addictive and compulsive tendencies and actions, have difficulty holding and setting boundaries, frequently isolate, are attracted to people who need fixing only to figure out down the road that they need just as much fixing, frequently have problems with intimate relationships.
Nice Guys put tremendous emphasis on their intimate relationships. These often turn out to be a significant source of struggle and frustration. Some examples of why this is the case are:
Nice Guys are terrible listeners
Nice guys fear of conflict often leads them to be dishonest and unavailable to work through the problem.
Nice Guys pick partners that are “Diamonds in the Rough” with significant issues. Latter nice guys then blame their partner for standing in the way of their happiness.
Nice guys have issues with s*xuality. They are dissatisfied with their s*x life, have some type of s*xual disfunction, or s*xually act out in some way such as affairs, prostitution, po*******hy, compulsive ma********on, etc...
Nice Guys are generally only relatively successful. Due to a combination of Nice Guy characteristics, they limit their own success.

Nice Guys have been described as being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, swinging from nice to not so nice.

08/19/2021

How to Manage Back to School Anxieties!

As school is about to start, there are many kids that are experiencing anxiety about the upcoming year or just anxiety in general. Here are some tips to help your kids manage theirs a little better.

Ages 2 -10

1. Limit screen time to under 4 hours a day. Studies have shown that children ages 2-17 who spend 4 plus hours of screen time a day are twice as likely to suffer from feelings of anxiety and depression. (*)
2. Create “special time” with your child. Set aside 1 hour every other day where the child can be in control of the play situation. (Under parent supervision and engagement). During this hour the child get 100% attention, is in control of what and how the play happens. Parents get ready for lots of jumping around from one play to the next.
3. At an age-appropriate level, allow them to find their own solutions to their problems. Allow them to work out issues with siblings. (Under parental rules and guidelines).
4. Provide warmth and safety. We want our kids to be able to venture out away from us. Allow them to be alone, allow them to explore, allow them to stand on their own for a minute, and then be that safe and secure place from them to come back too. (Sometimes this is more difficult for the parent than the child)
5. Validate their fears, provide support and let them know that you will be there for them. Recognize that this is difficult for them, but that you know they can overcome this situation and that you are going to be there to support, help and walk with them the whole time.

Ages 11-17

1. Limit screen time to under 4 hours a day. Studies have shown that children ages 2-17 who spend 4 plus hours of screen time a day are twice as likely to suffer from feelings of anxiety and depression. (*)
2. Be supportive of your child in difficult situations, but do not “fix it” for them. Allow them to work it out. Guild them, support them, but ultimately let them be the ones to identify the solution and implement it.
3. Do hard things! By challenging our kids to do hard things, and complete them, we allow our kids the opportunity to be successful. This build confidence that they can manage difficult situations which builds coping skills and lowers anxiety and depression.
4. Set rules and boundaries for your kids. Kids need boundaries. Boundaries and rules show that you care about where and what your kids are doing. This creates a feeling of safety and security. Your teens especially need boundaries, many times in a teens mind, if they have no boundaries, they equate that to parents not caring about them. “I can do what I want, my parents don’t really care”. Interpreted as “they do not care about me!” Feelings of insecurity, abandonment, and aloneness all play a significant role in feelings of anxiety and depression.
5. Talk with your kids! Build a relationship of trust with them so they feel safe in sharing with you their fears and anxieties. Support them when they share this, let them know you will be there for them as their biggest support, but also as stated earlier, let them develop their own ways to manage difficult situation.

(*) Preventive Medicine Reports
Volume 12, December 2018, Pages 271-283
Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents: Evidence from a population-based study

03/14/2021

HELP PLEASE!

As a therapist I am always trying to use therapy modes that work best. I am looking for feed back from anyone who has done marriage counseling before. What worked for you, what did you like, what did you not like, what did you feel like helped and what did you feel like was a waist of your time. Leave a comment below or email me at elevatedhealth4u@gmail.com. Again, thanks for your help.