Let's Doula This

04/08/2025

Not one baby I’ve ever met has been the same. You know how to best care of YOUR baby. It’s up to your support people to respect your process.

I’m a New Mom—So Let Me Be One

Yes, I’m a new mom.
Yes, I’m figuring it out.
Yes, I’m still learning what feels right.
But that does not mean I need to be corrected, dismissed, or talked over every step of the way.

If I’m nervous for my baby to leave without me—let me be nervous.
If I double check something, or ask you to do it a certain way—just respect it.
Don’t hit me with the “I’ve done this before with umpteen kids.”
I’m not trying to debate.

Because here’s the truth:
My child is not your child.
My child is my child.

You had your chance to raise yours.
Now it’s my turn. So if I ask you to not kiss her face, or to wash your hands, or to lay her down a certain way— that’s not a suggestion.
That’s a boundary.

This isn’t me trying to be difficult.
It’s me trying to feel safe in this new role.
To protect the little human I carried, birthed, and now spend every moment learning how to care for.

So please—don’t take offense.
Don’t roll your eyes.
Don’t tell me I’m overreacting.
Just listen.

Let me grow into this.
Let me be unsure.
Let me be protective, emotional, and even a little extra sometimes—because this is all new.
And she is everything to me.

You raised your kids.
Now let me raise mine.
With love, with space, and without all the back-and-forth.

K?

11/05/2024

It’s all too common. Please use the BRAIN acronym when making any decision with your provider.

Benefits: What are the benefits of this decision?
Risks: What are the risks associated with this decision?
Alternatives: Are there any alternatives?
Intuition: How do I feel? What does my "gut" tell me?
Nothing: What if I decide to do nothing or wait and see? What happens next?
like.a.badass

02/29/2024

The ARRIVE study is incredibly flawed and is being used to induce at 39 weeks unnecessarily. This can put you and your baby in distress. Please do not allow your provider to coerce you into induction based on this study. Inductions should be medically necessary or, at least, elective by your personal (informed) choice.

Over the years, I have shared a number of studies showing that induction of labour increases the chance of caesarean.

This is also something that I explain in depth in my book, In Your Own Time.

It's important that we discuss this topic openly and honestly, so that people can understand the evidence in this area.

That's because many women and families are told that induction decreases their chance of having a caesarean.

But that's not actually true in the real world.

In the real world, having your labour induced increases your chance of having a caesarean.

in fact, the people who claim that induction leads to fewer caesareans are quoting the results of one study, the ARRIVE Trial, which was flawed, and did not reflect real world maternity care.

In the real world, having your labour induced increases your chance of having a caesarean.

This is a complex topic.

So I have explained it further in an extended blog post, which you can read at https://www.sarawickham.com/research-updates/induction-increases-caesarean/

There's also more in my book, In Your Own Time: how western medicine controls the start of labour and why this needs to stop.

Lots more info at https://www.sarawickham.com/time

02/11/2024

Absolutely beautiful!

01/06/2024

Uncomplicated pregnancies should be left uncomplicated. There is no reason to induce someone early, especially when you’re guessing at their due date.

01/04/2024

It’s a red flag if your provider says “Trial of Labor” for your VBAC.

According to birth certificate data, there has been a substantial increase in the average rate of successful VBAC over the last 10 years, including VBA2C.

So pretty much, VBACers have the same rates of vaginal birth as first timers. Yet we don’t tell first timers that they’re having a “trial of labor” 🤔

And we know that with a truly supportive provider, success rates can be 85-90%.

12/19/2023

I’ve seen this managed and both well and very poorly, so it’s something to be cognizant of if you’re being induced or pitocin is being introduced.

12/18/2023

12/15/2023